I always wonder how my dad feels. Does he often think that something is wrong with him? What are his thoughts? How often does he get lucid thoughts? What does he need? What can I do for him? Right now, I can’t even capture what exactly I’m curious about, because what could it be? Where do I start? What kind of questions does one ask a person with dementia to know what they are thinking? I don’t want him to feel bad or be driven into wondering what is wrong with him.
My heart aches so much from the sad memory of him asking, “Olamide, what is wrong with me?”. He asked because he noticed people were running away from him when he was walking on the road. I don’t want him to have thoughts like that again.
I’m crying because the only questions I am confident enough to ask are, are you hungry, are you tired, do you need to pee.
I also wonder how I feel. On some days, I’m okay and on others, I’m simply at my wit’s end, struggling to just be. The latter more often than the former. I’m often in a state of frustration and inexplicable anger
There are so many thoughts in my head, and I am very unmotivated to analyze them. I’ve been unable to process why I’ve been feeling out of sorts for the most part of the year, but I want to try today. Yes, on the world wide web.