3 years ago, I was 21 years old. It was 2019. Like I had been since 2012, I was still depressed. After NYSC, I worked at a place inside the University of Ibadan. Almost every morning, I would open the centre, go downstairs to the restroom, and cry very heavy tears. I was particularly sad at that period because I did not have money to rent a place of my own. I also could not buy the form for a Master’s program at UI. Things looked bleak. Before the regular teary episodes, I called my dad for some assistance. He said he had no money. I cried over the phone and distinctly remember that he gave no reaction to that. That hurt me. Rather, he asked that I come back to Lagos. The call took place around October 2019. If I knew what I know now, I would have wasted no second in leaving Ibadan ASAP. That’s a story for another day, though.
Anyway, I am no longer depressed. This statement isn’t just a logical conclusion that I have drawn based on my current disposition compared to the past. I also have joy and control right now, something I only distantly remember experiencing when I was very young. Most importantly, it is a statement of strong faith.
3 years from now, I am 27 years old. It is 2025. Just like now, I am in an even better place. I hope that I will have gotten over the existential crisis that assails me once in a while about my age. LOL. Sometimes, I find it hard to believe that I’m this old. At 27, I am probably 2 years into my PhD. Somewhere. I have designed my first cognitively accessible product. I have a good job. Most interesting is the fact that I have confidence. I look back to when I wrote this and muse about how far I’ve come. I am also courageous at 27. Most importantly, I have the clearest focus, purpose, and direction.
Like we say in Nigeria, “no condition is permanent”. I find this statement very logical. Times, seasons, and circumstances can’t but change. They are never constant. Thus, nothing about anyone can be the same. As time goes by, you age. As the seasons change, your body’s reaction to the elements changes. When rain falls, you’re cold. When the sun shines, you are hot. You move, whether consciously or not. I think the former is better; moving consciously, that is. That way, you get to actively determine what direction you go.
I understand how you feel, though. The world is on its toes. You feel behind no matter how fast you run or how hard you work. It’s exhausting that so much is expected of you. The room for taking time to learn and making mistakes keeps getting smaller. It’s hard to take your eyes off the now.
Try it. Shut your eyes against now. Envision the best possible outcome of your present worries. You get the job with your dream starting salary. You have money to buy what you need. You have insurmountable joy. You are happy
Now, open your eyes and ask how you can get there. I have to confess to you that worries won’t get you there. Actions will. Also, don’t worry about the fast world. Everyone’s lives are different for a reason. It’s an indication that our paths and pace are not the same. The fact that we have our own paths also show that we are supposed to face it, not someone else’s.
Now, put your worries aside. Easier said than done, right? Do it with all you might. You now know exactly what you want. You envisioned it, remember? At this point, think of how to get there. For instance, how can you get to a place of joy if that’s your target? Reading books on how to find joy may help. Watching videos or reading articles could also help. Another thing is being in a gathering of people with similar goals, like a church. In my opinion and experience, having the resolve to not be sad anymore is number 2 out of the top things you can do. Number 1 is learning about what joy entails. I’ve learnt this by seeking God. I’ll talk about it in the future. In your current situation, what would work best for you?
It doesn’t have to be grand. You may also not reach your end goal right away. It may even come a while longer than anticipated. You may relapse or feel stuck. However, since you’re moving consciously and you’ve envisioned your destination, you know to keep taking actions and limiting your worries.
Also, as you would be to others, be kind to yourself. Things will get better.
This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!