Some random stuff:
I remember one time I was crying in a public space. Someone came up to me and asked if it was because of a boy. I laughed ?… Bless her heart, the lady. She was quite worried. To be honest, I can’t remember why I was crying. I have a history of being an emotional wreck. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the past and give past Lami a big hug, and a high-five just for sauce. Most of the time, all she needed was to realise that things will be fine. The assurance that “someone understands and is there for you” would have also gone a long way.
All is well now because I know these things. Life feels a bit easier.
Today, via someone’s WhatsApp post, I learnt that the expression is “wreak havoc”, not “wreck havoc”. Who knew? ????
Today’s article:
I feel a wave of nostalgia today. Perhaps, it is a residue feeling from reading all my old articles. Yesterday, I read this article I published in 2018 and wondered why I ever doubted myself. I really like the article. The inspiration for today’s post came after I felt that familiar wave of doubt. It left a bitter taste in my mouth and mind. Right on time, I realised what was happening and CUT IT OFF.
What is not good about you, Olamide? What is unworthy of you? Why do you reject yourself before giving yourself the opportunity to prove that you can do it? Why do you reject yourself on behalf of other people?
That creepy self-doubt made me think about love. I love myself, so I shouldn’t speak or think negatively about myself. I have the capacity to do the “hard tasks”, and my history proves it. I am worthy of success and can achieve it. I can and should be happy.
While thinking about love, I tried to apply it to another person. If I loved another person, I would never try to convince them that they are unworthy of success or happiness. I would never tell them that they are weak and deserve to remain in a state of mental repression. In fact, such thoughts will never cross my mind.
In projecting the experience of negativity on another person, it was easier to understand how unfair I was being to my beautiful-self. Sigh. The fact that it took doing that to truly understand is pretty sad. I will do better in the future.
This article is to express to me how much I love myself. I do love you, Olamide. I will support you, encourage you, and praise you as you become a better version of yourself. You deserve all the good things you desire. You are worthy of happiness. Most importantly, you CAN do it. Rather than reject yourself, you will try your very best first. Your worth isn’t tied to your achievements. Remember that God put you up to this.
Come back here and read this anytime you need assurance, a hug, or a high-five for sauce.
These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!