I see my articles as formal pieces of literature strewn together after lengthy moments of research. Hope you enjoy them! I’d like to hear your thoughts.

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I always wonder how my dad feels. Does he often think that something is wrong with him? What are his thoughts? How often does he get lucid thoughts? What does he need? What can I do for him? Right now, I can’t even capture what exactly I’m curious about, because what could it be? Where do I start? What kind of questions does one ask a person with dementia to know what they are thinking? I don’t want him to feel bad or be driven into wondering what is wrong with him.

My heart aches so much from the sad memory of him asking, “Olamide, what is wrong with me?”. He asked because he noticed people were running away from him when he was walking on the road. I don’t want him to have thoughts like that again.

I’m crying because the only questions I am confident enough to ask are, are you hungry, are you tired, do you need to pee.

I also wonder how I feel. On some days, I’m okay and on others, I’m simply at my wit’s end, struggling to just be. The latter more often than the former. I’m often in a state of frustration and inexplicable anger

There are so many thoughts in my head, and I am very unmotivated to analyze them. I’ve been unable to process why I’ve been feeling out of sorts for the most part of the year, but I want to try today. Yes, on the world wide web.

I am hypersensitive and cannot fully rest or be at peace. I realized this just now after I woke up from a 30-minute morning nap.

Some context? My dad has dementia, and I’ve been his primary caregiver for 4 years now. This morning, around 6am, my brother and mother took him to the hospital for some tests. This means that I had to be up an hour earlier to get him prepared.

Well, guess who woke up to a thud at 4:55 am?

Me. And the thud was my dad falling down from his bed – which he has decided was the couch for over a month now.

I’m not even sure how I heard (Thank God I did). I rushed to his side and helped him up, making a mental note to not wrap his duvet around him as I did tightly the night before. He was trying to get out of it and rolled too much to the side, then fell.

A few days ago, I also made a mental note to not give him so much food at night because he vomited overnight, and I discovered it at a random hour while doing some office work at home.

I’ve also made a mental note to:

  • Check on him frequently during the day, making sure he has cold water always because he would rather go thirsty than drink room temp water]
  • Be aware of his movements because he might need something and because his voice is so low, I would never hear him speak if I was not alert
  • Be alert to his footstep at any time of the day or night because that could mean many things, ranging from;
    • he is awake, thus I need to get him prepped for a bath which could take a convincing session that could last between 5 minutes to 2 or more hour… or just me giving up and making his breakfast for him ,
    • he is bored and wants to take a stroll, so I have to follow him or convince him to stay at home because I’m busy with work,
    • he is about to go to bed at 4pm, so I have to say “Daddy, we are still in the afternoon, just lie down in the parlor for a while longer,
    • it’s 3am and he’s probably sleepwalking do I just have to check to confirm…

Now, it happens in my sleep. And that is why when I woke up from my 30-minute morning nap which I tried to have after he left for the hospital, my thought was, “I am hypersensitive and cannot fully rest or be at peace.”

While I was napping and while he was on his way to the hospital, I heard his footsteps. I was about to stand up but realized that he’s not at home. I heard his tiny voice and was about to respond, but, yikes, he was not there. I thought about prepping his bath too, but I already did that, right? I thought about getting up from my bed just to see what he was up to, but… he’s not in the house…

Olamide. Calm down.

Then I could take it anymore. So, I stood up and decided to write this article starting with this sentence, “I am hypersensitive and cannot fully rest or be at peace”.

This is not a complaint. I just wanted to talk because not doing so means my head will be flooded by that thought all day.

Unlike the beginning of last year, I’m not all that happy or joyful in 2023. It’s been a tough past couple of months, but I’ve tried my best to hold on. I’ve held on to my responsibilities, purpose, and just the will to live a good life. Quite often, it’s slipped my mind, but I’ve also held on tightly to God.

A few weeks ago, I saw a tweet about reveling in the little things that bring you joy. I thought about that for quite a while, thinking about what they could be for me. It did not seem like I had any, or maybe I tried to dismiss them, or maybe I was just not in the right frame of mind to accept them. Anything that came to mind, I disregarded them as pathetic or too silly.

This changed yesterday… sort of. Even as I type this, I am hesitant to tell you about them because I still have this disregard for them. But, it would be a huge disservice to me if I don’t indulge myself with the things that bring me joy. I will be gaslighting myself if I deny that those things do not make me giddy or bring a silly smile to my face or make me feel comforted.

Here are my little moments of profound joy:

  1. I love it when I’m lost in a whirlwind of happy, totally made-up thoughts. At sea, feeling the cool breeze or flying high in the clouds even though I’ve never done either. It pleases me to imagine myself giving a talk or being a badass actor in a superhero movie. I remember when daydreaming was my go-to form of self-entertainment. I’ll bring that back, because, why not?
  2. I love it when I listen to beautiful, soulful songs. I send all my love to the artist for their melodious voice and rhythm and consider myself lucky to have the opportunity to take their vocal/instrumental blessing into my ears and heart. Listen to this beauty. Music brings me bliss.
  3. One of my favorite things is to help people who may have difficulty with doing so themselves. I like to be part of what gives people hope, comfort, and peace. I like to be a part of other people’s little moments of joy and bring happiness to them.
  4. Have you ever marveled at God’s rest? I’m still not over it since I found out about it. Boy, does my heart skip a beat when I get reminded that God says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” in Matthew 11:28. Can you imagine how huge this is for me? Yesterday on YouVersion, this verse spoke to me: John 15:5 – “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me, you can do nothing”.
  5. I love to watch movies! This is my de-stressor, actually. It used to be books, and I’m looking towards buying physical books so that I can stay away from my screen at least.

There you go. I plan to enjoy every second I happen to be in one of those moments and seek solace from them as much as I can.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

 

Many many times, I’ve picked up my laptop to write here but could never get myself to do that. As I promised, I’ll always come back. So, I tried and tried and tried, and now I’m back. I miss myself. I’m crying really hard as I type this. It’s not because I’m sad right now, it’s just that the floodgate of my eyes got too full today. Obviously, it’s inevitable that tears would flow. What, did you expect me to force my eyes shut and let the tears sink back in? That would be destructive. Hey, I also created a playlist and titled it “To cry and live”. The first two songs are my favorites and are both from my fav Kdramas Twenty-Five, Twenty-One and Call It Love. Coincidentally, they were sung by the same artist; Wonstein. What are the odds???
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6gAsMT57MBjSIAe2i8hDn0?si=2c4f3c642c3c45f7
Asides from the fact that I really needed a good cry, the last two episodes of Call It Love were the cause of my overflowing floodgates. It was a happy ending. Before it got to that part, though, it was unbearably sad. I felt so much for Woojoo and Dongjin who I felt deserved to love each other in peace forever and ever. So, I cried because of this. A beautiful reconnection of the both of them happened at the tail end of the drama. So, I cried harder because of that too and to emphasize that the first set of tears was just not enough. In fact, I sobbed and wailed because it was just so beautiful, and I loved it for them. I respect the writers, directors, actors, and everyone else involved in creating this masterpiece. It made me think again about writing stories. I was also grateful to them for not giving it a heart-wrenching end as Kwon Do Eun did for Twenty-Five, Twenty-One. I’ve come to terms with the tragic ending of that drama, but it was not an easy process, I’ll tell you that. You’ll hear from me more often. To you and me, I promise to always come back here and write all that is in my heart. Too mushy? Get used to it; you’ll hear me saying more heartfelt stuff quite often ?? Some life updates:
  • I finished school! Yaaayy. I completed my project last December after almost breaking my back to pieces and loving every single moment (only about 53%, for realz) of the entire process. I’ll talk about this one of these days
  • I got a job as a product designer in February! Can you believe this? I’m still processing this
  • I moved back to my Daddy’s house after discovering that living alone was not that great ?
  • I have almost gotten my driver’s license. Your girl will soon start driving the streets and express of Lagos instead of jumping buses and almost exchanging swears with people that are as angry and frustrated as me
  • I’ve been posting positive tweets in Jesus’s name since January:
I want to talk about physics next time. I can’t express how much I’ve missed missed missed saying this ?? These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Sup,

I mentioned in one of my earlier articles that issues of inequality, exclusion, and accessibility are important to discuss. This is because they are integrated into our lives whether we consider them or not. Just recently, Twitter and TikTok saw a post about a deaf man who was stuck in an elevator. It was a moment that elicited deep thought in a lot of people. I believe the internet collectively agreed that the world’s default state should be accessible, inclusive, and equal.

Yet, we are far from achieving that in many spheres. The web, a now regular part of our lives, is yet to fully cater for accessibility. Although the term web accessibility has grown in popularity in the past years, 97.4% of the world’s top one million websites do not offer full accessibility. While the number is actively decreasing, this is still a startling realisation.

It might interest you to know that 72% of adults with disabilities own a smartphone and 62% own a desktop or laptop. So, yes, people with disability are on the web just like everyone else. The stat above shows that 9.74 out of every 10 websites an individual visits would have at least one accessibility issue.

Defining web accessibility

As you may know, the web, also known as the World Wide Web, is a network of information that can be accessed by a web browser via the Internet. These pages are connected with hyperlinks, or simply what we know as links; which can be embedded in buttons, texts, cards, images, etc. Here’s something for you to note; I’ll be using web and Internet interchangeably, although they are technically not the same. The internet is a global network of servers, computers, and other hardware devices. The web is a part of the larger Internet.

Web Accessibility is the idea that web structures must be unrestricted to all kinds of people, regardless of their abilities. This suggests that people’s temporary or permanent disabilities should not be a barrier to accessing the web, or as we say colloquially, using the internet.

Accessible web structures and experiences also benefit people without disabilities such as old people, individuals with poor internet connection, or folks in restricting situations such as driving (where you can’t touch your phone for long) or being in a loud environment (where you can’t listen to audio)

What disabilities does accessibly help?

The answer—at the surface level—is all kinds of disabilities

Such disabilities could be visual impairments like full blindness, low vision, or colour blindness; hearing impairments like deafness or partial hearing loss; Motor disabilities such as absent limb, reduced limb function; cognitive and neurological disabilities such as dementia and learning disabilities; as well as speech and language impairments.

Guidelines for web accessibility

Conversations around web accessibility are rife, and hundreds of very helpful articles give great guidelines. Nevertheless, you can also choose to refer to accessibility standards that have been created through extensive (and ongoing) research. The most recognised is W3C Accessibility Standards. Other web accessibility guidelines include:

  1. The A11y Project
  2. Material Design
  3. Accessibility Guidelines for iOS
  4. Accessibility Guidelines for Android
  5. Web Accessibility Guidelines by Princeton
  6. Digital.gov
  7. BBC Mobile Accessibility Guidelines

Because these standards can be bulky, a good tip is to first get an overview of them through web resources before fully referring to them. Remember to take note of accessibility laws that are relevant to where you stay.

It is important to note that accessibility should not be an afterthought, rather it should be what you think about as you conduct your UX research, create your hi-fi designs, and push your new desktop or mobile interface to the Internet. Don’t leave out a critical population of your audience.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

A few months ago, I saw Thor: Love and Thunder at the cinema. I found it completely interesting. It’s no surprise, though, since I love superhero movies. It was also refreshing to watch a movie where the language spoken is English. I’ve been watching only Korean movies for months now, and haven’t been able to find an English (language) movie that sparks enough interest in me. Sigh.

Anyway, while I find superhero movies – English or Korean – fascinating, I don’t t think I have learnt life lessons from them. This is why I was particularly delighted about what I observed in Thor: Love and Thunder.

I’ll tell you all about it. If you’ve seen the movie (I definitely recommend that you should), take your mind to the scene with the two Thors, Gorr, and the children at the Shadow Realm. That’s where the lesson on leadership and delegation lies.

For some context, Gorr kidnapped some kids from Asgard. He has taken possession of Thor’s new sword, and he wants to use it to open Eternity so he can make a wish. Gorr is also a god-killer, and is pretty powerful. He has the ability to call forth multitudes of shadow-like beings that are totally separate from him. So, he can be fighting while his other shadow beings are wreaking havoc. Clearly, it is too much for one person to handle. What did Thor do?

  1. Analysed and planned: Thor recognises this situation and shows some insane quick thinking skills. He “blesses” the kids and their weapons (which includes a toy ?). Now, they have thor-like powers and can fight the shadows while Thor faces Gorr. Pretty cool. He came up with this plan under intense pressure and implemented it fast
  2. Boosted their morale: These are kids, remember? So, they are scared and most definitely confused. Thor comes in and “gingers” them by giving a quick pep talk to let them know how much they can do if they put their minds to it and just act.
  3. Equipped and directed them: After letting them know that they can, he equips them with the thor-like powers I mentioned above. Now, they no longer just believe that they can do it, they also have the skills. Thor gives them the go-ahead to fight and does what I think is the best part next….
  4. Trusted them to do the right thing: After giving them the belief and ability, he just goes after the bad guy. He trusts them to do well! I found that part amazing. He did not once look back in worry that, “what if blah blah blah”. Nope, he squarely faces his own business and lets them face theirs. This is a call to you (or anyone) who breathes down the neck of the people you’ve assigned tasks to. Free them and you’ll see good results. This reminds me of my project supervisor, who does exactly this! I admire it so much.

From the above, I’ve definitely learnt how to approach a problem while leading a team. However, I am going to look at this from the perspective of the children. How did Thor’s leadership and delegation skill make those kids feel? I have a few words: trusted, able, powerful,

This reminds me of one of my current side jobs, which is SEO writing. I wrote an article that my boss praised for being exemplary. To be honest, I was surprised because I just did not see why. What was so special about the article? From his experienced eyes, he saw the excellence in my work that I simply couldn’t see. One talk led to another, and I was being promoted to the editor role. Of course, I was stocked! But I was nervous too.

What has my boss done? He analysed my skills and saw that I could take on larger responsibilities. While doing this, he boosted my morale by complimenting my work and potential.

Next was to equip me. We jumped on a call where he edited some articles and I observed. I also chimed in here and there (and was elated anytime he showed his approval). This made me more confident and convinced that I could take up the role. After the call, he handed me a document with a list of guidelines for my new role as an editor.

After I edited two to three articles, he announced that he would no longer check my work, and I should ensure that I edit thoroughly. To me, this was the equivalent of, “Based on the articles you have reviewed, I trust that you are capable of handling the rest”. This made me trust more in my abilities and put in more effort.

After editing close to 25 articles and counting, my confidence grows daily, and it was because someone showed me some good leadership and delegation skills.

I am inspired and want to be like Thor, my project supervisor, and my boss.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#103 – Who I am not

In #101, I talked about my self-exploration and knowing who I am not versus who I am. I know exactly who I am not. Let me tell you about it. I am not shy. I don’t know how to emphasise this enough with this present me. But, Lami is anything but shy. Granted, I am quite reserved and introverted, but 100% not shy. I don’t know where this habit of hiding in the background started. What I know is that it will soon stop. Baby steps, internationality, and fervent hope that I will soon return to my natural “unshy” state. I don’t waste time These days, I pat myself on the back for getting to meetings early. This is not because it is out of character, but rather because it is perfectly in character. I can’t help but be early for planned events. In fact, I absolutely dislike and feel embarrassed when I do the opposite. My need to join functions and meetings early is because I value time; mine and yours. As such, I don’t want to waste it. I am not mediocre I enjoy that I don’t allow anything less than quality to result from my hands. To be humble, quality here is relative and define by my knowledge and expertise. I don’t claim to be perfect. However, I endeavour to put in the effort to achieve the best results when I set my heart to something. The downside to this is that it slows me down considerably. For tasks that would take 30 minutes, I could spend 45 minutes. While I try to tap into speed X quality, I console myself with the fact that the extra time spent on my work makes them stand out. I am not a sad person Even though I know that depression isn’t sadness, per se, I feel pretty bummed to have depressive episodes. As a person who was known to be notedly happy when I was a child (pre 12 yes), it is still difficult to come to terms with the fact that I experience moments that are out of character. This list is not exhaustive of what I am not. However, I think these cover the basics. These are 500 words (or less ?). Talk to you tomorrow!  

#102 – hAVe I GroWn?

Sigh.

What’s the best way to say this?

I’m so sorry for responding late or staying away for 2 months. I was going through a crippling wave of extreme depression followed by intense moments of anxiety attacks. Because of this, I simply could not get myself to pick up my phone to text you back. I started at the wall every now and then. I cried at random times. I wish I did not exist. My heart physically aches. It’s a pain I can’t really describe. It’s not painful, per se – it just feels like the walls of my heart are closing in on itself and my chest is being compressed. The lump in my neck is what I would describe as painful. I feel a piercing pain as aching tears surge up from my stomach. When the tears get to my throat, they stay lodged. Perhaps they boil – that would explain the pain. They literally take my breath away. I begin to breathe heavily as I fight to push those tears and pain out. They fight back. Sounds that are not human begin to escape from my mouth because I am fighting to live…for good reasons.

I’m curious about how anyone would react to the above if I ever told them. The crazy thing is that it’s true.

Sigh. When I think I’ve gotten better, I relapse in the worst ways. Pending the time I can afford therapy, this would be my place to vent. My private diary won’t work because I want someone to understand me. I want someone to know, and feel, what I’m going through and acknowledge that I will be fine.

That’s what I’ll imagine; that you, as you read this, are empathetic to my troubles and that you wish me well. Thank you. That makes me happy. If you ever read this, you don’t need to talk to me about it.

The thing about constantly feeling this way is that you are also constantly met with the reality that the world won’t do anything for you. You are solely responsible for bringing yourself out of that place of rut. It makes me feel two ways about the world. First, I resent the world, ergo, people around me for not noticing. By people around me, I mean people miles away who I speak to a handful of times a week. Lol. “Don’t they notice that I’m chatting differently today? Or that I haven’t responded in two days?” I hear myself think.

The second way I feel is that I totally relate to the inaction of the world. Looking inward, I ask myself how many people I have brought out of a bad place. How many people I have regularly comforted when they experience difficult times? Who I have noticed is going through a mental breakdown? As I answer these questions sincerely, I see how my resentment against the world is unjustified. I am as focused on sustaining myself as everybody else is.

The world does not deserve my resentment. In fact, the world deserves my understanding and love. I can’t know what someone is going through unless they tell me. But, the fact is that someone around me also experiences mental challenges. How can I help them to feel better? My best bet is to be deliberately kind to everyone because I don’t know who needs it. I’ll say sweet things, ask about your day, wish you a good night, and so on.

From my end, that’s the most I can give for now. In the future, I hope to be able to extend listening ears and arms to hug if someone needs it.

#101 – I have grown

HIIIIIIIII, I am back, my babies (or not my babies). I feel quite emotional today because I have a life to live. The thought of the great things I will achieve makes me elated and inspired anew. I also kinda feel like a main character. Throughout my break, I missed writing to you so much. Many times, I thought about taking up my pen (keyboard), but I knew it was not yet time. In other news, this song (Tommy by AnnenMayKantereit) will soon burn some holes into my speaker. It has been on loop for no less than 3 hours. I love AnnenMayKantereit. Gaint Rooks is also a fave. I think these two groups are a level below Asa (based on Lami’s metrics). For context, Asa to me is the best of the best of the best. While I was away, I updated my portfolio, started building a cryptocurrency platform with other designers at Design Pal, conducted a detailed user research, was accepted to participate in GRAMS, and started contributing to CHAOSS Africa. Like I said when I first started this series, I want to be more open. Asides from talking about not-so-great thoughts and feelings, it also includes talking about my achievements. Unfortunately, I have had the habit of playing them down for so long. It frustrates me. My last 100 articles were about me being vulnerable, the next 100 would be to tell you every single thing I have achieved. It could be as large as getting a full-time remote job in the MedTech space (yasss, queen) or as little as waking up the first time my alarm goes off (as opposed to snoozing it 5 times). Guys, I am much happier than I have been for the last 10-12 years. I feel like I am getting myself back. While I am not exactly sure who I really am, I know exactly who I am not. Sadly, I have been living a life that is not mine for too long. I am happy about this self-exploration. On that note, here is one achievement: I found a solution to my light problem keeping me from posting regularly! Before I began this series, I created a custom post. This would ensure that my #500-Words-A-Day article was separated from my normal blog articles. This went on well until I started having some difficulty with light occasionally. I thought of different solutions. One was posting directly from my phone with the WordPress app. However, that didn’t work because the app only has the option for normal posts. The other solution I tried was to create a subdomain for 500-Word-A-Day (as in 500-words-a-day.olamidewilliams .com), make this series a normal post. That way, I would be able to log in to that subdomain on the app and post away. Well, sike, because that didn’t work either. The WordPress app does not allow you to log into a subdomain. Anyway, after much brainstorming, I came up with the perfect solution; make this series a normal blog post (as opposed to being a custom post), but exclude it from appearing in my blog. I would not have to repost the previous ones, though, because they are now grouped as what I call, “the first 100“. This way, I can post directly from my phone (using the WordPress app)! So, yay, I am happy about this development. These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

It’s 11:47 pm and I have come here to celebrate.

Today, I learnt that I shouldn’t try to deflect a compliment when I get it from people. Rather, I should embrace it and thank them for their kind words.

This sounds so simple in practice, but life really gives you some unexpected lemonds

I made this tweet in 2020 about the rapid surge in the value of crypto coins.

Does this mean I prophesied? JK…

However, I want to understand why the sudden drop.

Think with me today. It has been a while we did this! Time check is 9:39 am. I’ll be back after I do some of my tasks for the day. See ya!

I usually feel overly conscious of myself when I post on social media. The urge to delete my post comes immediately after I hit the post button. Then, I begin a mental war with myself. Leave it. No, take it down. No one wants to hear what you have to say. Your thoughts sound uninformed. The person currently reading your post is laughing at you. You should be ashamed of how you have exposed yourself.

Like you, I agree that these thoughts are brutal. We wouldn’t say these to other people, would we? Why should I then have those thoughts about myself? This is how I know that they are not mine… at least not from the real me.

So, I will share my thoughts, learn, improve the way I think, and all other positive stuff. As much as I want you to know this, I am also letting myself know that it is unfair to shut myself up, especially when I truly believe in what I want to say. So, I won’t.

Not shutting myself up means I have to tell you what got me shaking today. It’s the audacity of people to tell me that I am worth nothing for no other reason than my being female. They tell me that I should submit to a human being like myself; a man. They inform me in no uncertain terms that my time is limited and should be expressly used to tend to a man. It is hard to stay calm when I hear claims like this.

Let me show you what I saw today.

A screenshot of an Instagram post. It reads: "Dear ladies, weather we like it or not… a man is d head of the family.. Ler us normalize being submissive and respectful. U see this S.M ehn.. It will mk u think we hv equal rights with them but in actual sense. Na dem be d boss oo. no matter how sexy u are. Wen u reach 50 yrs max. U go retire… beauty go fade. But a man at 50 years can conveniently marry a sweet 16/18 yrs old girl… if u use their eyes see shege now… remember a time will come when market go finish inside ur shop ooo… table don turn be dat.. especially if they com ger money join… ti e ti taah"

There you go. I am most upset because a woman posted that. Here’s my social media reaction to the post:

“This is such a dangerous way to think. How can you think yourself so valueless? It’s sad that ideologies like this exist and are actively being passed down to younger generations. Don’t believe this. IT IS A LIE designed to keep you, a girl/woman, from reaching your potential as a human being. The essence of being female is definitely NOT to be an object that submits to the will of another person; a male human. If you think like this, it is time to escape this mental prison.

Practically, you must actively pursue financial independence. This is one of the tools that is used to subdue women. Alongside this is taking ownership of your mental and emotional needs. Be satisfied with what you can do for yourself at the moment. Know what you want too. It even makes it easier to manage your relationship with others.

Possess some common sense so that you can rationalise silly propositions like this idea of women being unequal to men. It shouldn’t even be an argument. There shouldn’t be a need to explain “what kind of equality” is being referred to. We should not have to explain that equality and equity are two separate concepts that coexist for an optimal human society to thrive.

It breaks my heart to see women believe that they are lesser beings.

Such injustice they do themselves!

It is even worse that they teach this to younger girls. Don’t we realise that this destroys the confidence of innocent girls? This is indeed a sad ideology that has managed to destabilise humanity.

It infuriates me.

The woman said a man at 50 can conveniently get a girl… A GIRL of 16/18 years old?

Does this not make you feel sick?

This is the kind of sick power relegated to men.

The bone I choose to pick today is with the women who encourage such behaviour by telling girls that they are commodities who should be decorated and preserved for the enjoyment of boys and men.”

I wrote this paper last year… grudgingly. At this time, I had resigned from gender issues because I found the societal reality of gender highly distressing. Every day, I would see people engaged in “gender wars” and did not want to be a part of it. My thought was (and still is) that I should not have to explain to anyone why I have equal rights as another human being. Being made to defend my rights seems undignifying.

How dare you proclaim that I am a lesser being because of my gender? Arguing with you is a waste of my valuable time.

So, I washed my hands off any gendered arguments.

However, I realised that choosing to stay quiet simply equates to contributing further to the rotten ideology. If you or I do not tackle skewed gender propositions, we allow them to thrive and infect generations upon generations.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#97 – Democracy Day

Yesterday was June 12. In Nigeria, it is Democracy Day (DD)… at least since 2019. Prior to this, DD was marked on May 29.

I don’t think I ever understood the essence of a DD. Frankly, I was quite uninterested in Government (a course) when I was in secondary school. So, many of the things taught never stuck. For example, what in the world do oligarchy and fascism even mean? To be clear, my disinterest in government ended a long time ago. While this is so, I am still working towards updating my knowledge on political terms.

This quest is particularly essential at this time. Nigeria has an election in 2023 it looks like everyone’s spirit of patriotism has collectively awoken. What are the causes of this long-awaited revival? I’ll tell you. Pain, suffering, desperation, and anger. Most important is the need for hope. This is why a particular candidate stands out amongst many. I am not here to campaign for anyone… yet. I need to understand the presidential candidates (the ones worth listening to) and determine who is my optimal candidate based on my research. I want my vote to mean something. In the meantime, I am certainly tilting heavily towards someone very popular with my fellow Nigerian youth, who are ready to uproot our country from the rut it is in.

Democracy Day is celebrated in many countries across the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I do not give myself enough credit. In fact, my lack of confidence in areas that I clearly should have confidence in is killing me. That’s ending little by little, sha. Lami is attaining the height that she is aiming for.

Today, I met with a UX design team to discuss our design process. We are designing a cryptocurrency exchange platform at Design Pal. I am enrolled in a three-month design program where I build a Web3 product. I have actually never worked in a team with specialised design roles. My current team includes content designers, 3d designers (how cool is this?), motion designers, brand identity designers, graphic designers, UI designers, and content designers. I love it.

I am in the track lead of UX design. To prepare for today’s meeting, I created documentation detailing some proposed frameworks and methods to adopt, our timeline, and some resources for the team. It was an absolutely fun process. It was also surprisingly easy. This is the part where not giving myself enough credit comes in.

So, last year, I made three cool tech moves. First, I was a project manager at the Zuri + Ingressive 4 Good training. There, I managed about 14 teams, which comprised web/mobile developers and designers. Other managers were also assigned the same number of teams. In total, there were 114 teams. I remember because I was assigned team 114. Each team was assigned a product to build. I learnt on the job because I had next to no experience in managing a tech team. However, I suitably transferred my organisational and planning skills to that role, so it was fairly easy to coordinate my teams from the start. I attentively assimilated the tech knowledge required to effectively manage my teams. This paid off, as my three of my teams ranked top 5 among top 5 of 114. They wee graded on design, features, responsivity (of websites), etc. This experience was the best I had in 2021.

The next move was that I joined the She Code Africa Summer Camp program as a class coordinator (call “Person-of-Contact”). The program engaged girls who were on summer holiday to learn how to code. I was assigned to “Emerald Class” where everyone learnt HTML and CSS. First, I absolutely loved that children were being exposed to tech early. I also enjoyed their enthusiasm to learn. It was thrilling to see a glimpse of the bright future that awaited them. My class had two mentors who taught the girls those coding languages. One funny thing is that I had to stand-in for mentors at two (or more) times because of poor network. During this time, I learnt a bit of HMTL and CSS.

Immediately after Zuri (more accurately during) my interest in research and managing the development of tech product was fuelled. Rather unconsciously, these steered me towards my third tech move! I enrolled for the Product Management course at Entry Level. Did I think Zuri was great ? This was superb!

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hiiii

My day was quite calm compared to the last 4 days. I had quite a lot of rest. Sigh. Because of my rather slow-paced day, I felt (and still feel) quite unfulfilled. Reflecting on my day now, I can say that it is fine for me to have days like this. After 4 days of back-to-back hard work and sleeping for about 5 hours per night, my arm hurt from typing and writing, and I guess my body decided to take the rest I did not give it.

However, as much as I have come to terms with today’s rest, I won’t give myself the opportunity to slow down… At least for another week. This is not something I would advise you to do. It’s definitely not healthy for your body or mind. I am doing this because I have some clear (rather big) goals that I want to achieve by the end of this month, and I know that I may not have sufficient time to tackle them well in subsequent months. The last 6 months of 2022 are going to be very busy for me (I secretly love it).

BTW, it’s about time for another voicicle, don’t you think? Soon.

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My last article was about the importance of research. Today’s entry is based on session 1.2. on my TRREE course.

You would think that humans have always been conscious about morality when it comes to research. Okay, I think with our general knowledge of human nature, we would not put it past our fellow beings to throw ethical practises out the window while seeking knowledge. If you thought this, you would be right! Shocker.

Experimentations on living beings have been going on for quite a while. Human-subject experiments gained traction in the 19th century. At some point, research shifted to animal-subject, and this led to researchers questioning the need to use humans at all. This is when the question of research ethics began to arise. As discussions flew around, people began to accept human-subject research on the condition that extensive experimentation had been done on animals first. This started around the 20th century. However, outrightly unethical experiments were still being performed on human-subjects.

Research in bacteriology saw rise in the late 19th century and the early 20th century. Animal and human subjects rose rapidly, and questionable experiments continued to be conducted on both species. According to TRREE,  in North America and Europe, “infectious agents were injected into orphans, mentally disabled persons, and prisoners without their consent or knowledge” (p.4). Some were even electrocuted. Flocks of those kinds of untoward experiments were also found in Africa. An example is the segregation of people who had diseases such as yellow fever, tuberculosis, smallpox, and measles just for surveillance.

One such research is the tuberculin injection experiment by Dr. Walter Reeds in the early 20th century. He injected this substance into the eyes of over 100 orphans that he got from orphanage home. Many of them were left with excruciating pain, lesions in their eyes, and permanent blindness. However, Dr. Reed did not stop and was never criminally charged for his atrocious acts. This was not for the lack of trying by many well-meaning individuals.

Human experimentation reached a very low standard and sparked outraged cries from professional bodies. One such bodies include the Prussian Minister of Religious and Medical Affairs in 1900 who proposed a guideline on human experimentation. In 1931, the German Reich Ministry of Interior released a regulation for human experimentation.

However, both were largely ignored by the medical practitioners who conducted unethical experiments.

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I have passed my 500-word limit. I’ll continue tomorrow by giving you some detail about the Nuremberg Trials.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

 

This is a continuation of yesterday. Below are some of the simplified importance of research.

Research helps the world delineate the nature of new diseases and condition

How is research important to the discovery of new diseases and conditions? Through research, they can be identified and explored. Researchers can conduct experiments that will help them determine the nature of a disease, possibly identifying its cause. In turn, this would allow medical practitioners (who may be the same people) to develop treatments that can cure such diseases.

COVID-19 is an example of a new disease that we can relate to. When we got the first wave of news, there were lots of irregularities. This is because the real nature of the disease had not been discovered. However, through research, we discovered that COVID is caused by the SARS-CoV-2-virus that affects humans in all sorts of ways. It especially causes mild to lethal respiratory illness (WHO link). We also know that some of the symptoms include fever, cough, sore throat, and so on.

Research bursts myths

Perhaps one of the most important things that we know about COVID-19 is the way it spreads. It is an airborne communicable disease that  It spreads when an infected person coughs, sneezes, or talks. The droplets that come out of their mouth could enter the respiratory system of anyone within 6-feet. Asides from this, people would also transport the saliva of an infected person to their respiratory system if they touch their mouth or nose right after touching an infected surface. One of the stories I heard at the onset of the pandemic is that you could be infected through mere skin to skin contact. I was ready to cut off everyone because I lived with a person who is a high-risk ?. I locked my house against visitors and only shouted to them from inside. This lasted for only about a week before it became obvious that we could not keep it up.

Still on COVID-19, research into preventive measures as well as treatment strategies helped bring the world back to order. I remember buying almost buying a pack of latex gloves because people said you could suggest it. The only reason I did not buy it was because the price was ridiculously high. The pharmacist wanted to cash out of the pandemic… lol. I also thought of buying vitamin C because “people” suggested it. Thinking about all of this makes me further appreciate researchers.

Through research, prevention, treatment, and intervention strategies are monitored and evaluated for efficiency 

In addition, new and more effective treatments are equally introduced. According to TRREE, research”is a central and indispensable component of improving health” (p.3). When treatments like drugs and injections are put to test, the quality ones can be singled out, backed by evidence. This allows for more credible medical resources to be pushed out into the market. In the long run, lives are saved.

Research has many ripple effects.

  • For one, death could be avoided if knowledge is found. People who lived in the Medieval Era also kinda understood how washing was a preventive measure for communicable diseases.
  • As new knowledge is discovered through research, more gaps emerge. Thus, they need to be filled in even more research.
  • The gaps filling give room to tackle more existing problems and improve old methods of care/interventions/treatments
  • Research sheds light on the truths around medical conditions. Such discoveries can help cleanse the stigma attached to certain conditions
  • In developing countries, health revolutions can be made. According to TRREE, and I agree, “Wherever possible, such research should be conducted in these countries with the full involvement of the local researcher, with the goal of improving health services and alleviating suffering” (p.3).

In conclusion, research is indispensable in health concerns.

 

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Today, I started the Training and Resources in Research Ethics Evaluation (TRREE) program. It is an online program that provides training on research ethics and regulations that guide health-related research with human subjects. It also has nation-specific supplements focused on building the capacity of African countries. The training contains Modules 1 through 3.5. Each module has its own topic and covers various aspects of health-related research and ethical concerns.

Taking this course would give me the relevant knowledge and skill that I need as I embark on my research on language and dementia. The institution from which I intend to engage dementia patients for data collection (which would be announced as soon as I get approval) requires that I take this course in order to know what is expected of me. I am super excited about the entire journey. That my dream of being a researcher is coming true is the least part of the cause of my excitement. What I am most elated about is the impact this research will make in Nigeria (hopefully).

Of course, one single research won’t do it. Nevertheless, I want to spark the interest of people and turn their attention to this critical issue. There is a lot we can do as a nation to help this relevant population in our society (people with dementia) delineate their conditions and help create person-specific and innovative interventions. We – everyone from infancy to old age – deserve to be understood and spoken for, especially when we do not have the ability to do so ourselves.

I covered sections 1.1 (Why research is important) and 1.2 (Evolution of Research Ethics) in Module 1: Introduction to Research Ethics. Today, I will talk about why research is important. This article will be largely based on the course.

I found the first few sentences of section 1.1 quite interesting. According to TRREE, medicine is art, rather than pure science, because it is constantly changing. New diseases and conditions are introduced, which in turn lead to the development of novel treatments and interventions. Central to these are constant experimentations.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

While doing some work yesterday, my sister suddenly told me that something happened in Owo, a large community in Ondo State, Nigeria. I quickly picked up my phone to check Twitter because I figured people would be talking about it. As expected, I found “Owo” trending. This is how I found out about the massacre that happened at St Francis Catholic Church, Owo, Ondo State on the afternoon of June 5, 2022.

My sadness knows no bounds. I cannot even find a starting point for my lamentations. One thing I do not know and can’t bring myself to understand is why? Why the killings? Why the oppression?

While thinking some time ago, I concluded that a large population of humans are not meant to be ruled by one person. Rather, we should have tiny communities of people who share the same values. We are meant to operate in packs or prides, not herds. This, I am convinced, is the true nature of human society.

No general rule, law, guideline, or whatever, should be imposed on people who are nothing alike.

However, greed and the thirst to control led people to think that they can take over the lives of those who are just minding their business

Do you know what I think is ridiculous? That a so-called country is declared as such and rules, laws, and guidelines are imposed on completely oblivious people. Take Nigeria, for example. What does the settler in the deep forest know about their now-duty to pay task? This person was born free, grows their own food, makes their own clothes, and exists in content solitude. Yet, one president somewhere is claiming responsibility for him.

We need to restructure humanity. No man or (woman) should ever be the leader of 1 billion people or 200 million people or 50 million people or 2 million people or 10 thousand people or 1000 people. Such wealth of responsibility in the hands of one person can never be duly managed. People will never be heard, acknowledged, seen, or even perceived. People will live all their lives, never been able to reach their full potential because of the restriction that they were born in.

Imagine not being able to travel outside the shores of your country because you do not have a green (or any) coloured document that you cannot get if you do not have money that you cannot get if you do not work that you cannot get if you do not have the experience or fancy skills that are required. Living as we are now becoming a life-long quest of reaching milestones after milestones. Go to school, get a job to earn money, use the money to do what the government wants.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Now and then, I think about why my confidence is so bruised. What exactly happened? I remember a time when nothing could necessarily dampen my spirit.

Then, I remember when I was in 100 level at Lagos State University, a group of girls (I remember only one who was also the main instigator) called me to talk about my cloth. The main instigator, let’s call her Sparta told me to put my top up. She wanted to see my trouser. Her point was that I should wear a belt next time. I tucked my top into my trouser, pulled a bit of it out to hang, and didn’t wear a belt. She said that it did not look good. I wonder why she had to tell me. More than this, I wonder why it had to be in front of other people. Apparently, she was advising me. Not knowing what else to do, I agreed. To be honest, I don’t recall my reaction, I just know that I just stood there, embarrassed, probably smiling, but also very embarrassed. In the end, I think she laughed, or maybe that’s just my imagination. I never liked or felt comfortable around her (I did not before, to be fair).

This also made me think about a time in secondary school when I was in a class with a group of my classmates. They were talking about something that I could never remember even if I tried. I did feel left out. At some point, they started to whisper. I remember exactly where they sat and could point out the place if I ever go back to my secondary school (someone would have to threaten my life for this to happen, though. I hated that place with everything in me). One of them, let’s call her Luba told me to excuse them because they want to talk. She said so shyly and proceeded to say what I remember (incorrectly, but really close) as, “See? That’s why I like Olamide. I knew she will understand, she has no problem. Thank you”. Sigh. Of, I agreed. I stepped out, feeling like a piece of worn rag. For effect, let’s say I dragged my feet on the ground and sighed heavily, like I am doing now while writing this. Humiliated, wanting to cry and disappear, I am sure I went back in after they shared whatever their secret was. I don’t remember, though. Like many bad memories, my brain files huge snatches away. It ensures, however, that I remember the most humiliating part and my feeling at that moment.

No, these events did not make me lose my confidence because I remember still being considerably confident after these. Or maybe I’ve never been? I laugh as I write this because I find it funny. How can life be so mysterious? Also, why are these the important things in life? Why do we need to think about past experiences and how they shape us, and then try to overcome them?

I’ll talk about self-approval tomorrow.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

8:36 am. Today, I was addressed the way I dressed. It felt pretty good. I also kind of felt like an imposter; maybe because that was my intention?

My school is having her 25th convocation ceremony, and today is the Convocation Lecture, Congregation Admission to Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D), and Conferment of Rank of Emeritus Professor and Honorary Degrees. I was accidentally informed by my classmates while we were going home. We all decided to attend. But first, we had to confirm if students would be allowed into the hall. We headed there and asked one of the coordinators. He said, “yes”, but we would need to come extra early. So, we planned to come at 7 am. The event was slated for 10 am, but all guests should be seated at 9 am0-ish. Regardless of the coordinator’s assurance that students would be allowed to attend the program, we prepared for the worst by agreeing to come extra early. For me, I also decided to dress to match the occasion.

So, this morning, I left home at past 7 and got to school at 7:45 am. My “official” outfit included a green silk shirt and black trousers. I wore shiny black flat shoes with gold details and topped my outfit off with a black handbag (I always take my backpack to school). Of course, I had a pretty good curly wig on. As I neared the hall, I feared that I was going to be queried before entering the hall. Regardless, I assumed a stance of authority and walked straight into the hall. I caught some stares, but no one approached me. Almost all the seats in the hall were reserved, so I settled in to one of the few unreserved ones at the back.

For flare, I brought out my phone and stylus. Then, began pseudo-working on my phone. I was actually looking for an app that can turn handwriting into typed text. After installing, testing, and uninstalling three applications, I finally found FiiNotes. Then, I brought out my note to do some work on my thesis. I had reviewed some papers and needed to type them. I used the app to write them and convert the written texts to typed text. Very convenient. Time went by really slowly, though.

The worst then happened. At about 9 am, the M.C. came onstage to tell students, staff, and members of the senate to move to other venues in the University to watch a live stream of the program. Yikes. He sounded this warning (yes, it was a warning) multiple times, but I stayed put. I was actually expecting someone to ask me to leave. At this point, the hall had less than 20 guests. But no one did. My classmates got to the hall about 10 minutes earlier but were denied entry (our fear). So, I continued appearing busy. I started “reading” a paper and making notes. Absolutely ridiculous. I feared being embarrassed if someone actually came to me, so I considered leaving the hall a few times. However, I really really wanted to witness the event live.

As more guests came in, I saw people who were unmistakably students accompany invited guests. I asked why they could be there, but I couldn’t (does this make me a horrible person?). It made me bolder to stay. Plus, at 10 am, there were so many people, that it became obvious that no one was going to be directly queried and told to get out. However, as more invited guests and dignitaries came in, I saw the reason for the requests that students, staff, and senate shouldn’t be in the hall. The space was needed. Order was also required. Although I don’t feel proud of ignoring a direct order, I wish it had not been given in the first place. If I felt guilty, I would say that I wish I had obeyed the directive.

I truly enjoyed staying. I got to listen to wonderful people like Mrs Ibukunola Abiodun Awosika and Honourable Abike Dabiri-Erewa.  They were awarded honorary doctorate degrees. I was in absolute awe of them. Do you ever have the desire, inspiration, and assurance to do exploits when you see great people who have done wonderful works? I do. Their stories made me assured that greatness starts normally. Even if you’re destined to do the best thing in the world, you’re first born. Then you have a childhood. You go to school and switch careers multiple times. What adds up to eventual greatness are the little things you do; lead a club, participate in a community building project, intern somewhere, manage a team, be appointed as a consultant somewhere. Unconsciously, you grow till your impacts NATURALLY become large scale. Dr Ibukunola Awosika (she is a Dr. now) said that the reward for great responsibility comes with the expectation to do more work. I believe this. I am inspired by great women.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

As a continuation of yesterday’s post, we’ll talk about how to communicate. You’re having a voicicle today. This voicicle is inspired by this article. Here are 9 tips on how to communicate:

  1. Listen… Really listen
  2. Think before you speak
  3. Confirm that you correctly heard what has been said
  4. Be straightforward
  5. Take note of your non-verbal cues
  6. Proceed with tact
  7. Don’t try to be too nice
  8. Don’t interrupt or permit one
  9. Get rid of distractions
Voicicle 2. Background noise ends at 7:40 ?

These articles make me feel so fulfilled. TTY you tomorrow, when I’ll talk about self-approval.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

It may be because I identified that there was a problem and opened my mind to discovering was it was. Today, it clicked that the problem is communication. Specifically, it is the lack of proper communication. It kind of occurred to me when I called my group members, and they shared their worries about the project (check yesterday’s post). They were not nonchalant. But like me, they handled it in the way they knew how to. However, communication trumps individual coping mechanisms that can be misunderstood and lead to conflicts.

How do you communicate, though? Do you state exactly how you feel? Is diplomacy a better course of action? Say what you think and feel, but try not to sound accusatory. Is that it? To be honest, I am not entirely sure. Me communicating well yesterday was accidental. Panic led me there. If I’m being sincere, my group members steered the conversation better. So, I don’t believe that that’s always the right motivation. Hear me out. When you panic, adrenaline is pumped into your body, triggering a fight-or-flight response. I doubt any logical thoughts will go through your head at this time, only instinctive ones.

We can see now that when, how, and what you communicate are all important. Let’s see when communication is needed.

  1. When you start. You should talk about the beginning of any alliance or relationship. Communicate your expectations, plans, excitements, and availability. The group should brainstorm and agree on a course of action it will take. “Together” is the keyword here. Agreeing collectively would ensure that everyone is on the same page. I’ll use my experience as a project manager as an example. I had to manage 11 teams of designers and developers (initially 14) as they created interesting products at Zuri Internship. My approach (as I had learned while taking some UX courses) is for all members of the team to share ideas in the design thinking sessions. In many cases, this would be the designers’ task (which I don’t agree with). As designers and developers brainstormed together, the devs were able to relate their reservations about certain ideas and designers related the reasons for certain design choices. In the end, both parties had the same expectations and plan. They were excited too. The design thinking session – which I would like to dub, “First communication” – was also an opportunity for everyone on the team to get to know each other. We also talked about the timeframe and when the next meeting will be. Worked sailed quite smoothly after this. One of my teams (PJT-33) with whom I used this approach emerged number 1 among 114 other teams.
  2. When plans change. I think it is even courteous to tell people when things will not go as planned. You would be showing some respect for their time, effort, and energy. If you have a meeting at 9 am but will be running about 10 minutes late, don’t assume that the person can wait. If you can, try to let them know the reason. Whatever it is, do not lie. Avoid sharing the reason if it is too revealing or if you are ashamed of it. Just sincerely apologise. PJT-33 changed the design multiple times even after development. However, this was communicated with justifications. The devs definitely understood.
  3. When you need to make clarifications. One of the worst things that makes group tasks not work is assumptions. If you do not know or are not sure, it is safer to ask than to assume.
  4. When you have some reservations. You shouldn’t really do things that you are not comfortable with. This is why when something does not sit well with you with regard to a group task, you should air it. The trick is to do this with a sincere heart. Telling the group your worries would allow them to see things from your perspective. It could also invite them to re-explain some things you realise you misunderstood. Win-win, right?
  5. When you are sense that others have some reservations. This is tricky because it could just be your imagination. “She did not really sound too excited. Maybe she did not like my idea”, you think. You could ask directly (not confrontational). You could also let it go. Not everyone in a team would agree to a plan immediately. It may grow on them eventually. The clause to this, however, is that you are letting it go for real.
  6. When you end. This is very important for situations that do not have a clear end, like building a website. Sure, it “ends” when you deliver the website to your client. But, what if the client wants a correction today and another next week Friday? Tell people when you want something to stop. Otherwise, they won’t know.
  7. When you have intentions. If you think you have a better plan that was made, that’s absolutely fine. Nevertheless, informing your group members before making changes to your work is very important. You may have missed something. They could learn. It could also prevent conflict later on. Endless possibilities.
  8. When you are done. One of the most frustrating things for me is for someone to leave me hanging. I always appreciate closer. Tell me that you are tired, I’ll understand. Abandoning a task because you lost interest or become busy with other stuff is bearable when you tell other parties involved beforehand. Be nice and courteous enough to do so. You shouldn’t just leave people hanging. Let them know where you stand in a situation.

In future posts, I’ll talk about how and what to communicate

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#14 -Unconventional

3:04 pm. Sometimes, I wish there was a manual for life. Like, how do you determine if…

5:10 pm. I drifted and did not complete that thought.

Hi guys,

I want to try something new today.

I love that this is my secret space. From what I know, no one has discovered it yet. So, I can basically go wild. I’ll be doing a voice note article today ?. I like this unconventional idea. When it came, I had this debate in my head:

Mind 1: Does it count?

Mind 2: I don’t know

Mind 3 (maybe this is the real me): Your thoughts are not conventional, why should your actions be?

There is an outline of what I’ll talk about below. I won’t write and read the article to you, I want it to come out of my mouth as I think about it. So, there won’t be an edit, only stops where I tell you what time it is.

Outline

  1. I like learning. I was one of those kids who would go online and search, for “facts about …”
  2. My result last week.
  3. Taking responsibility for group projects (past experiences and two I have ongoing now)

11:11 pm. Here’s my voicicle:

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#13 – Nigerian Normal

5:22 pm. I’m on the bus to Iyanapaja and couldn’t wait to document this.

It started when I left home at 4:47 pm. I know the time because my, “How’s your days going, gal” alarm went off after I took a few steps from my gate. I was not ready to take it out of my bag because it was in my really heavy backpack and I had another really heavy bad in my hand. So, it kept ringing at intervals till I got to my bus stop and crossed the express. I planned to check the time when I got there, so…

5:32 pm. I had to stop because my bus got to my first stop. Then, I walked to board another bus going to my final destination; home. I’m scared of pressing my phone because I am close to the window, so I’ll continue later.

9:54 pm. I got home a few hours ago. As per my first paragraph. I planned to check the time when I got to the bus stop, so I’ll know how long the walk was. Didn’t do that eventually. Jeez, there’s so much to talk about. I’ll just do this chronologically. Some background first: I was going from my home 1 (my dad’s house) to my home 2 (my rented house). Two buses are needed to make this trip. This background is sufficient for now.

Now, the express. The bus stop at home 1 is an expressway. There is no pedestrian bridge. So, I cross an entire expressway. Not just that, the middle of the express is demarcated. As a result, I have to jump over the slab, which is at least up to my thighs. This is the Nigerian Normal or #NN.

I was at the bus stop for about 7 minutes, declining to enter a few busses, either because they looked uncomfortable or the people in it looked sus. One finally came along. As I was entering, it clicked in my brain that the passengers looked sus. It did not help that they were staring at me too. There were only two spaces in the bus; one each at the back and middle seat. Sigh. I had to go to the back seat. An old woman came in after me. She was to seat directly by the door, but a man asked her to move in, making him the one at the door. I was experiencing dread at this point because I saw a trap. I prayed that if they were really kidnappers or thieves, I would somehow not fall victim. This is some dark shit, I know. It is also the NN. By the way, this is the reason why I did not bring my phone out too.

A few minutes into the journey, the three people seated beside me alighted. A while later, a seat in the middle row was empty. I moved forward ASAP. The old woman couldn’t fully adjust for me because there was a huge tyre on the floor and she could not put her leg on it. I had to wait for the bus to stop and switched places with her. Now, I am seated between one woman and the old woman. I tell “one woman” to adjust because there was barely any space. She refused. She said,

“Why did you move? You should have stayed there”.

Taken aback, I looked straight into her eyes and asked,

“Why should I have stayed there?

She did not say another word till she got down a few minutes later. It’s a NN to leave another person in discomfort just to prove a point or to make yourself comfortable. As Nigerians, we barely tolerate one another. Barely. It is also an NN to be told what you should and should do, even by someone who has no business with you.

Anyway, now, I was pretty sure that the bus and passengers were not sus. This was when I brought my phone out and started writing this article. Oh, yea, the huge tyre under the seat is an NN too. So, I just went with it.

It’s now 10:37 pm. I fell asleep. I’ll continue tomorrow.

March 21, 5:32 am. As we approached my first stop, the driver suddenly veered to a BRT lane (designated only for state buses). He suddenly accelerated and almost hit a bike man. This and the loud cries of passengers did not stop him. Sigh, it’s an NN. it is also an NN to be “smart” and “fast” while stepping (or jumping down) from a slightly moving bus. I conformed to society’s rule by wearing my backpack in front and rushing to the exit. The bus was still moving; it is a Nigerian normal.

The old woman also stopped. I helped her cross the express and received some old people’s repeated thanks in return. Cute.

I make my way to the park (more like a line-up of buses) to board the next one to my last stop. I saw some dodo Ikire (plantain cooked in an interesting way) and purchased two. I paid ₦500 and collected ₦300 change. It was the exact amount for the next bus, or is it? The fare was ₦500. Almost 100% the original price. Understanding that it was a Nigerian thing to experience unexplained change, I did some mental grumble and oneof the buses. There was no point arguing or complaining. Sadly, the dodo Ikire did not taste good. That is definitely not a Nigerian thing. Sigh.

Lucky for me, the front seat was free. I guess I should say “front SEATS”. An extra seat had been forcefully placed between the diver’s and passenger’s seat. That seat is famous for being hot because I guess it’s on the engine? It’s a Nigerian Normal. I was happy to seat in the front because that meant I would not be packed into one of the the seats at the back with so much heat and anger.

There are interesting moments, though. I saw a really pretty woman with a star tattoo, a strapless yellow flowing ankara gown, and a rectangle earring. She glowed, I saw another woman with earrings shaped like a continent? I guess the manufacturers were going for Africa. It was not quite right, but still looked good.

Hawkers passed by my bus, advertising their good. The trick is to both avoid eye contact and to keep your hands out of your bag. The former would be interpreted as you trying to get their attention. If you do the latter, you are trying to bring some money out. This beckons them. It’s a Nigerian interesting Normal.

Anyway, while at the park/line, more people joined the bus. I had to keep my phone in my bag to avoid it being snatched. As we moved along the freeway, I felt more comfortable using it. Although, I had to take caution to hide it with my bag. People are cray cray.

To be honest, the events surrounding transportation are Nigerian Normals that I can’t wrap my head around. How is it okay for me to jump out of a moving bus, else I’ll be considered dumb? Why do I need to analyse a bus for suspicious acts before entering? WHY do I need to cross a very dangerous expressway when a pedestrian bridge can be provided? Let me not even talk about the road and the manoeuvring tricks our drivers perform. It’s a Nigerian Normal to mentally prepare yourself for any kind of journey.

I’m sick of it. I also don’t know what to do about it. I’m sick of that too.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#12 – Life over speed

3 years ago, I was 21 years old. It was 2019. Like I had been since 2012, I was still depressed. After NYSC, I worked at a place inside the University of Ibadan. Almost every morning, I would open the centre, go downstairs to the restroom, and cry very heavy tears. I was particularly sad at that period because I did not have money to rent a place of my own. I also could not buy the form for a Master’s program at UI. Things looked bleak. Before the regular teary episodes, I called my dad for some assistance. He said he had no money. I cried over the phone and distinctly remember that he gave no reaction to that. That hurt me. Rather, he asked that I come back to Lagos. The call took place around October 2019. If I knew what I know now, I would have wasted no second in leaving Ibadan ASAP. That’s a story for another day, though.

Anyway, I am no longer depressed. This statement isn’t just a logical conclusion that I have drawn based on my current disposition compared to the past. I also have joy and control right now, something I only distantly remember experiencing when I was very young. Most importantly, it is a statement of strong faith.

3 years from now, I am 27 years old. It is 2025. Just like now, I am in an even better place. I hope that I will have gotten over the existential crisis that assails me once in a while about my age. LOL. Sometimes, I find it hard to believe that I’m this old. At 27, I am probably 2 years into my PhD. Somewhere. I have designed my first cognitively accessible product. I have a good job. Most interesting is the fact that I have confidence. I look back to when I wrote this and muse about how far I’ve come. I am also courageous at 27. Most importantly, I have the clearest focus, purpose, and direction.

Like we say in Nigeria, “no condition is permanent”. I find this statement very logical. Times, seasons, and circumstances can’t but change. They are never constant. Thus, nothing about anyone can be the same. As time goes by, you age. As the seasons change, your body’s reaction to the elements changes. When rain falls, you’re cold. When the sun shines, you are hot. You move, whether consciously or not. I think the former is better; moving consciously, that is. That way, you get to actively determine what direction you go.

I understand how you feel, though. The world is on its toes. You feel behind no matter how fast you run or how hard you work. It’s exhausting that so much is expected of you. The room for taking time to learn and making mistakes keeps getting smaller. It’s hard to take your eyes off the now.

Try it. Shut your eyes against now. Envision the best possible outcome of your present worries. You get the job with your dream starting salary. You have money to buy what you need. You have insurmountable joy. You are happy

Now, open your eyes and ask how you can get there. I have to confess to you that worries won’t get you there. Actions will. Also, don’t worry about the fast world. Everyone’s lives are different for a reason. It’s an indication that our paths and pace are not the same. The fact that we have our own paths also show that we are supposed to face it, not someone else’s.

Now, put your worries aside. Easier said than done, right? Do it with all you might. You now know exactly what you want. You envisioned it, remember? At this point, think of how to get there. For instance, how can you get to a place of joy if that’s your target? Reading books on how to find joy may help. Watching videos or reading articles could also help. Another thing is being in a gathering of people with similar goals, like a church. In my opinion and experience, having the resolve to not be sad anymore is number 2 out of the top things you can do. Number 1 is learning about what joy entails. I’ve learnt this by seeking God. I’ll talk about it in the future. In your current situation, what would work best for you?

It doesn’t have to be grand. You may also not reach your end goal right away. It may even come a while longer than anticipated. You may relapse or feel stuck. However, since you’re moving consciously and you’ve envisioned your destination, you know to keep taking actions and limiting your worries.

Also, as you would be to others, be kind to yourself. Things will get better.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#11 – Too Much Pepper

10:14pm

My sleep got messed up yesterday. I got about 4 hours. In turn, my day was me being sluggish, forgetful, uninspired, tired, trying not to fall asleep. My ideal sleep time is between 6 and 7 hours, with my bedtime being 10:00 pm to 4:30 am. Any less or more, and I can barely function properly. So, sleep is a pretty serious business for me. I jumped out of bed while sleep was taking me away when it dawned on me that I hadn’t done my post for the day.

Today, I want to talk about how to make chilli oil. I understand that this is strange; hear me out. It’s just been on my mind for some days. A few months ago, I lost my appetite for a lot of spice (we say “too much pepper” in Nigeria) in my food. So, my pepper tolerance level is pretty low at the moment. I also don’t like slicing rodo (scotch bonnet) because it makes my fingers hurt. A couple of days ago, I accidentally put too much pepper in my noodles (which would have been okay in the past). I did not enjoy the meal at all. That did it for me. Divinely, I got inspired to make my own chilli oil. That way, I can still have adequate pepper without slicing rodo all the time and accidentally doing too much. It would last for a while too. Don’t talk to me about ground pepper, else you will see my red eyes. I could add it to my egg (pepper incidents often happens with this too). It could also work as a dip for finger foods, like the fried yam I love so much. This sounded great to me.

So, I watched this video on YouTube. Sigh. Bro… I don’t even know where to find half of those ingredients he mentioned. Where would I find “peppercorn” in Lagos state? Anyway sha, I made a mental note to check out other recipes that contain ingredients I can find. I’ll do so now. Walk the Internet with me.

  • 10:47 pm. I found this. Sigh. Let’s just say I may be here for a while. I hope to end this at 11:30 pm, so I can get some well-deserved rest. You bet I won’t be waking up at 4:30 am.
  • 10:50 pm. My keyword is “how to make chilli oil in nigeria”. See what DuckDuckGo is giving me. I’m switching to “how to make chilli oil”.
  • 10:56 pm. WikiHow has it simple. Somehow, I don’t trust them. Interesting.
  • 10:59 pm. This does not look bad, and the famous peppercorn is optional. This too.
  • 11:00 pm. BBC says to use within one week? I thought this could last for longer than that. To be honest, I was thinking months…
  • 11:05pm. I have a problem with this article. Check out the image.
How can you freaking BOIL oil? Come on
  • 11:11 pm. Jumia has peppercorns and star anise which websites like this, this, and this, recommend. I kinda trust them ????
  • 11:18 pm. I’m pretty conflicted. Do I go with the simple, or do I go out of my way to find those ingredients? The fact that Jumia has some makes the latter quite tempting.

You know what? Let me ?sleep? over it. No, I am not postponing making a decision because I REALLY need to sleep right now (yes, I am). Pfft… What do you take me for?

Now that I think of it, this guy probably influenced my divine inspiration. I have been enjoying his shorts for a while now (took a while for me to find his channel).

11:31 pm. This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

5:16pm

Hi there!

The funniest thing happened to me a few hours ago! Warning: if you are squeamish about bodily fluids, stop reading now.

I don’t have lectures, but came to school today to get some assignments done. The catch is that there is electrical power (we just say “light” in Nigeria) in my school but not in my house. Sigh, it’s one of the realities of being Nigerian. Anyway, while I can use the library, I prefer to sit in a class. Bags are not allowed into the library, so I would need to take out ALL the materials I need every single time. This includes my laptop and its charger, phone and its charger, several pens, books, my purse… Needless, to say, it is a tiresome process. I also feel like I get a lot of o stares when I do this (although, this is probably me being hypersensitive). You can already see why I prefer a class. I also like to eat and drink while working.

After I settled in a class for a few hours, I really needed to pee. Sigh again. There is a restroom crisis in my entire faculty. You would need to go from restroom to restroom to find one that is unlocked or has water. So, I just go straight to the library if the first restroom I visit is inaccessible. This was the case today. Sigh yet again. I had to pack ALL my things because there was no familiar face to help me look after them while I went to do my business.

My plan was to get in, pee, get out

– Lami, March 17, 2022

Logging my really heavy bag, I headed to the library. I took out my purse to show security (three people) my library card so that I would be allowed entry. A dialogue would make this more interesting.

Me: [Standing by the door while bringing out my purse]

Security 1: Don’t block the door

Me: [Moves away from the door while frantically searching my purse] Argh, I did not bring it. [Proceeds to leave]

Security 1: Ahn ahn, wait naw. What happened? We are not God now. You can just tell us instead of just going. It’s normal for someone to forget it

Me: [Feeling really touched by their concern]. I am so sorry, I was not really thinking. Thank you very much, sir.

To be honest, I really wasn’t. I just wanted to pee.

Security 2: Are you sure you have the card?

Me: Yes. Thank you very much, sir

Security 1: [Responding to Security 2] Very sure

He probably recognised me because I visit the library quite often.

At this point, you can see that my plan is foiled, right? HOW would I be able to leave now that they’ve SEEN me ????. Granted, they would have regardless, but it would not have been in such a grand way. The crazy thing is that I found my library card in my bag while I was taking my laptop out (I decided to leave my books because I sure was not going to need them).

I finally peed, but could not leave immediately. So, like a coward, I stayed in the library for about 20 minutes, surfed through my phone, and took selfies.

 

One great thing happened, though. I found a video cassette! I took pictures of it and posted them on my WhatsApp status. If you do not know what that is, I’m older than you ??. Here are some pictures:

 

What would you have done if you were in my shoes? Shoot me an email! I completed this article in 15 minutes. I am happy that I am getting faster. Of course, I have to factor in the fact that all the content came from my head. If I had to consult other sources while writing, it would have been longer. I’m happy, anyway!

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hi, I’m back!

I am currently enrolled for a Master’s in English. I aim to do some further studies in speech-language pathology. As such, I am borrowing three psychology courses. Don’t get me started about the stares and numerous,

“Are you in our class?”, “We have a class now.”, “Wow, what department are you from?”, “English! Why are you now taking this course?”

I find all the questions delightful, though, and am always ready to answer to reduce the mystery.

“Yes, I am taking this course.”, “Yea, I know. I’m here for Psychobiology/Child Development/Physiological Psychology too.”, “I’m from English.”, “I need the knowledge for my plans to switch to SLP and also for my thesis on language disorders.”

Then we both nod and smile.

I have been attending these classes since the beginning of the semester. As much as possible, I try to learn and absorb every new information that I most definitely hear in every single class. It has been fascinating. I try not to speak as much. Why? I truly can’t say. Yesterday, uncharacteristically, I answered a question in class…. and got a round of applause. I explained my answer… and got another resounding round of applause. I couldn’t help but smile (and laugh in delight a little). It was one of the high points of yesterday for me. I’ll also feel more comfortable talking in class in the future.

Right now, it makes me think of how little it takes for me to be happy. Is this true, though? Can delight cost so little? To be honest, I am not quite sure. Taking lessons from the web, I summed up 7 things (the number of perfection) that can make you happy in a day.

  1. Smile and laugh. Science shows that there are psychological and physical benefits to smiling and laughing. For one, those actions result in the release of hormones like dopamine, endorphins and serotonin. These, “feel good” hormones tell your body that you are happy and make you happier. Smiling and laughing may also help you relieve stress, making you more productive. But, how do you make yourself laugh? Try to observe people. Someone is definitely doing something cute or endearing that may trigger a smile from you. You could even seek out memes or comedy videos on the Internet.
  2. Render some service. Among all the benefits of helping others – such as longer life, reduced blood pressure, and a sense of purpose – is happiness. You get joy when you help others find joy
  3. Be thankful. It is pretty easy to think about all the things not going well. Don’t let me get started, I could list a hundred horrible things right now. But, a deep search would lead you down the paths of all the good things that exist, both in your life and in the entire world. Be thankful for food, family, friends, and so on.
  4. Entertain yourself. Music and podcasts work for me. Dance may work for you, reading may be your forte. Do you.
  5. Start something new. If you have an idea, go for it. Don’t wait till “the perfect time”. It may never come, leaving you feeling frustrated that you couldn’t get your dream started.
  6. Continue something old. Big joy comes with consistency. When you look back to see how far you’ve come, you feel a sense of pride that makes you want to do more. Keep on keeping on.
  7. Think positively. Sadly, life is not like a fairy tale. Bad, atrocious things happen in the unlikeliest of circumstances. Guess what? Wonderful things also happen in situations where you least expect them. Either way, life will go on. Allow yourself time to grief a sadness, but don’t let it be the hallmark of your existence. Consume your mind with the good things that will surely happen. This will leave you with hope and positive anticipation about what the future holds. In my opinion, it makes you think more clearly.

Do some self-assessment. Try to find the things that bring you joy. Write them on a list, and seek them out often.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

One of my biggest flaws is not having enough confidence. I work to get out of that state quite often, but many times, it feels like I am just stuck. If I am lucky, I strike a few weeks or months of absolute courage. Suddenly, fear of nothing consumes me for days and weeks on end, and I go back to square one. Sometimes, I get tired of trying because the end result is usually the same; a moment of courage, long hours of fear. I’m pretty upset with myself. However, I won’t stop trying because I desperately need to have confidence so that I can pursue my goals. Obviously, this being out here means that anyone can read it. I’m tempted to stop writing now for obvious reasons. Please, be nice. I’m trying in the way that I know how to.

Yesterday, I saw this tweet. It spoke to me. One of my takeaways from the tweet is that I shouldn’t be afraid of looking stupid. So, what if my portfolio is not comprehensive enough? I wouldn’t know if I don’t put it out there for people to see. I also wouldn’t know if my ideas are not great if I don’t share or work on them. The fear of making mistakes is causing me to make the biggest mistake of not trying in the first place. The thought of being laughed at is causing me to stay still. Ironically, the thought of how the future will be is causing me to be stagnant. Time will still pass by whether I move or not. So why shouldn’t I move?

How do I convince myself to try and that “It’s okay to look stupid”? Let me tell you the thoughts that stop me:

  1. Lots of people are already doing that
  2. People would think I am pretending. How can I suddenly be interested in this? It’s truly not sudden. I have just harboured the idea for years
  3. People will think I am copying them
  4. No one will retweet it, and I will be embarrassed
  5. People don’t think I’m smart
  6. I don’t know if I got all the facts right
  7. What if I offend someone
  8. Why are you sad about something on one WhatsApp status and sound totally fine on the next? Sounds like you’re faking it
  9. What if this person or that does not like me anymore?
  10. People will think I am not serious if I post/do this
  11. People will think I am too serious if I post/do this
  12. People will think that I am trying to sound smart
  13. I don’t know if this is a good opinion
  14. What if I can’t finish it? I don’t want to start what I won’t be able to finish
  15. If I don’t finish this, people will talk. They already know that I abandon things midway
  16. I need to really plan
  17. I am too ashamed to apologise for missing the deadline for the umpteenth time. How can I say that the reason is that I did not know how to get started after two whole weeks? Let me just say I can’t go on anymore. Or, better still, let me hide and come up with an excuse after I finally complete it
  18. I don’t have time
  19. I have too many things to do, where do I start?
  20. I am not ready
  21. It does not sound true
  22. I don’t want people to think that I am lying
  23. I don’t think they need my contribution
  24. They obviously don’t want my contribution
  25. I don’t want to seem too forward
  26. I don’t want to disturb you
  27. What if this does not work?
  28. I don’t have enough money
  29. This seems too perfect. You have exactly 10 items on a list. Add or remove one so it does not look fake
  30. How long will this take? I don’t want to take too much time
  31. They won’t pick me
  32. I don’t have 1 skill out of the 30 listed on the job application. They won’t pick me. I won’t apply for now. Let me learn that skill and apply next time
  33. This does not look good enough
  34. No need to change it. Let me just manage it like this
  35. My cover letter and CV looks superficial. What if they don’t believe that I did all of that? I swear, there is no pinch of lie on them. Why don’t you believe me?
  36. LOL. What do you have to show for these articles you write? Stop trying to sound “inspirational” when you don’t take your own advice
  37. No one respects you
  38. You’re not worth anything until you can list your achievements
  39. Just be quiet
  40. People will laugh at me because I sound stupid
  41. People may think I want their pity
  42. Don’t overload yourself. You can’t handle it
  43. Too much time has passed already
  44. I already failed once
  45. No one has time to keep dealing with your bullshit

I am going to relearn how to avoid/cancel these thoughts and be back here tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. I will not miss one day till the end of the year, no matter how loud these voices get in my head.

 

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I promised that I would talk about the steps you can take to make good decisions, and here it is.

One of the best life skills you would have is decision-making. It is relevant in all aspects of your life. You make a decision when you choose what to eat for a day. If you eat the same thing for a whole week, it may have an effect on your body. You make a decision when concluding on what time to leave home. If you leave early, you may get to your destination early. While researching, I stumbled on this material by UMass and thought I should share.

These 7 tips would help you become a better decision-maker:

  1. Identify the decision.  Obviously, you need to know what you want to do. If you are thinking about how your weekend will go, for example, some decisions you may need to make include resting, doing your assignment, what to eat, if you should do chores, and so on.
  2. Gather relevant information. This is a personal favourite because it includes internal sourcing or external search. You could think deeply about the information relating to your potential decision. If needed, you could also reach out to the Internet for some help – #HeySiri, #OkGoogle. Relevant information will include time, the effort required, importance, what it entails, etc. An important one is also, “is it worth me/my time/my mental or physical energy”. Pretty critical.
  3. Identify an alternative. Next, you want to know, “if not this, what else?” This widens your scope. Who knows, you may end up going for another option. I have been trying to modify what I eat these days because I noticed that it consists of a lot of noodles and eggs. Not only are both items becoming tiring, but they are also now my go-to food choices whether I have enough time to cook or not. I don’t like that. So, I made a list of possible meals I can make. I also decided that a fridge would be a good item for me to invest in now because part of the reason I settle for noodles is that I need to cook often.
  4. Weigh the evidence. Still with my meal example. I made sure that I understood how my old meal choices may affect my health and how my new meals will. For example, my family has a history of high blood pressure (from both parents). I know to eat healthily if I want to stay healthy based on the evidence I have at home presenting themselves as my parent’s health. So, amongst other things, my salt intake is very low. I also know that it is a good decision to cut down on my noodles and soy sauce intake because of sodium.
  5. Choose amongst alternatives. From my list of meals, I pick the ones that I can realistically afford to make. So, no, you won’t see my grilling plantain just to stay healthy. If your decision is to be more productive on a weekend than you normally would be, you may decide to either do some chores or do your assignments.
  6. Take action. This is you actually doing what you have concluded on in your head.
  7. Review your decision and its consequence. This is where reflection and reversal come. Don’t be afraid to do what’s right when you realise you’re wrong. Evaluate your decision to determine if it meets the original need for your decision.

I should note that you do not have to take these steps ALL the time. Come on, seriously? I don’t want to weigh the evidence when I need to pick a movie to watch.  So, chill. Good luck with life and shii.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

9:16pm, Feb 12.

My birthday is in less than 3 hours and I feel full of emotions. I am grateful to God for how far I have come. I also look forward to the wonderful things that I am set to achieve. Lami is most grateful for life, purpose, and direction.

Feb 13

As I am about to start a new year, I want to talk to you about setting goals. A goal is the desired state you want to be in after doing certain activities over a period of time.  This tells you that a goal is time-bound and that it constitutes small successes that all add up to an ultimate one.  Finally, your goal needs to be yours. You can’t achieve someone else’s goals, neither can they achieve yours. Your goal is the projection of your future. This is why it needs your absolute focus.

The thing is that many of us find this difficult to keep our eyes on ourselves. An obvious reason these days is social media. If you have managed to shut out the noise on social media, good for you! For others, however, I understand the distractions. This person was just promoted. Another person relocated. Another just completed an amazing project. You are happy for them but can’t help to feel like you are not doing enough. Let me ask you these questions, though. Did you know when they started, though? Can you guess how much time they put in to gain such successes? I don’t think you can. I also don’t think that you need to think about that. What you should do it to focus on yourself.

If you don’t, you may end up fueling yourself with jealousy. You begin to covet what they have. Envy grows and you become a bitter mess. I don’t want that for you. So, I need you to let your eyes be only on yourself. You have so much potential. You do, trust me. The fact that you feel pressured that you are not doing enough (after seeing how well others are doing) shows that you have a growth mindset. Well, kinda (the growth mindset will become positive when it is focused on you being the best version of yourself, not the better version of others).

The trick to setting goals that will keep your eyes on you is to know the reasons for those goals. For me, my goals are targeted at achieving my purpose in life. I will talk about how to find your purpose someday. Other reasons could be your future plans or academic desires. It could also be that you just want something. All are absolutely fine. Don’t lose sight of the reason. Now, how do you set a goal? I deal with writing too, so get your pen-paper/laptop ready. Your goal can’t be in your head.

  1. It’s Yours. Write down the coolest outcome of that goal. For example, if it is to get a job, the coolest outcome would be that you will get a job at your dream company with your dream pay. We don’t limit ourselves here. Be realistic, though. Is it something that can actually happen? For example, we know that “become a billionaire in 2 weeks” isn’t something quite achievable if you don’t already have 900 million.
  2. Baby steps. Next, make a list of all that will be involved in achieving that goal. E.g., the name of the company/ies (of course), the position you want, a CV, a cover letter, some experience/training, etc.
  3. Babier baby steps. Pick each item and get an idea of what you need to do about them. For example, you need to read about the company/ies. You need some information about the duties involved in role you are after. For the CV, you need to actually know how to write one. Make them as bite-sized as possible
  4. At this point, atom steps. Arrange the needs of each activity (from step 2: “baby steps”) in chronological order. What do you need to do first, and what do you need to do last? At this point, I should pause and tell you, “Yes, you can reiterate at ANY point. You’re not at war with yourself” ? 
  5. Time is essential. I would say that this is kinda the most important step. However, when not used well, it can mar your plans. How does it work well? You account for every time spent, especially deadlines missed. Don’t be lying to yourself like you’re going to get into trouble or something ?. How does it not work well? You procrastinate or set an unrealistic time for any item. To make your goal time-bound, assign a timeframe for the completion of the goal. Let’s say three months. Now, take the items from step 4: “atom steps” and assign a time and day to them within your three months timeline. Include this in your daily to-do list, and you are good to go.

You may want to review the activities relating to your goal once in a while. This is because you may begin to learn new things as you proceed. Let me be Nigerian and say that when you are busy with your business, you won’t see other businesses to mind. I am rooting for you!

If you did not already know, I like to consult text, audio, and video materials to gain knowledge. Here are some resources that helped me with this article (and setting my goals for the year):

  1. How to design your life in 2022
  2. How to design your life
  3. Last, but not least: How to plan your best year ever in 2021

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

This week, I made a decision out of greed. It has been difficult for me to come to terms with this and call it exactly what it is. But, there is no point in deceiving myself. I have been feeling so bad and resolved yesterday that I would make things right by reversing my decision. Immediately after that, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulder. I was finally free.

Aside:

I pride myself on having contentment. When considering acquiring or accepting material things, I question myself deeply on whether it is a need or merely a want.  For the former, I weigh my ability to live without it till I can afford it. The question of being indebted to someone is also there. From watching YT videos and reading articles, I understand that not wanting help maybe prideful. I am still maneuvering this because I do not fully understand the concept of asking for and receiving help, especially financial assistance. At what point is it right or wrong?

In any case, I feel small when people help me. I feel like I am a burden to the helper. Receiving any form of assistance makes me feel eternally indebted, and I simply would never be able to get over it till I reciprocate. Instinctively, I know that this is wrong. The crazy thing is that when I help other people, I almost desperately want them to understand that there are no strings attached, and they do not have to pay back in any way. Yes, I know that I still have a lot to learn. I am learning by observing others and consulting resources. To be honest, it has been pretty hard.

The interesting thing I learned about greed is that it comes with a strong justification. You become convinced that you are doing the absolute right thing, and ignore all voices of reasoning.  My greed/lack-of-contentment episode made me question my principle of contentment. Am I really who I say I am? Or am I just pretending so that people will think/speak highly of me? This jeered me. Even now, I am still unsure. So, I decided to do some research on why people make poor decisions. From Harvard Business Review, Frank Sonnenberg Online, and Rich Habits, I narrowed down the following reasons for poor decisions:

  1. Stress. A study by Wemm and Wulfert (2017) shows that people who are exposed to social stressors are more likely to make less advantageous decisions. This is because their stress level makes them unable to fully consider all the possible consequences of their decisions. This happens to many of us in different circumstances. Because of our daily activities, many of us get to the middle of the day stressed out. For example, I live in Lagos, Nigeria where there is a lot of traffic. So, whenever I, unfortunately, have to travel to a place an hour or more away, I expect to spend no less than 2 hours. Coupled with slow traffic, there is also the case of the busy, loud Lagos life. Inevitably, one gets to their destination feeling very irritable. Unless I give myself some time to breathe and relax, I know that I am a risk of considering things with an unsettled mind. Give yourself time to unwind after a mentally or physically strenuous activity. If it is impossible, defer all important decisions till you have had time to rest.
  2. Distraction. This is when you need to be focused on one thing, but something randomly pops up. It goes hand-in-hand with multi-tasking. In my opinion, it is pretty difficult to focus on more than one task at a time. Imagine trying to study while planning your activities for the next week. Sound like a recipe for not getting quality results for either task. I saw a video once about how you can get someone to hold a number of items while they are engrossed in a conversation. They eventually notice, but not after collecting over 5 random items without asking any questions. Imagine if one item was a snake! I usually have an average of 6 hours of lectures and preparing for classes twice per week (this semester is so much better compared to the last). On those days, anything interrupting my flow of academic thought in those 6 hours is largely unwelcome, as they put more on my table than I am mentally prepared to handle. So, I don’t entertain them till I get home and rest for about an hour. Eliminating distractions allows for an unobstructed flow of thought, which could lead to making better decisions.
  3. Impulsiveness. Taking risks is fine. However, I argue that it should be a carefully thought out, calculated risk. Else, you may lose something irreplaceable. Impulsive decisions leave us at the mercy of probability. Things could work in your favour or not. A non-impulsive decision does not have to be ruminated for days or hours. You could invest a few minutes to really consider what your decisions will mean for you and others around you. This way, you are less likely to make decisions that, on second thought, you desperately wish you hadn’t made.
  4. Emotions. Someone said that you should not make an important decision when you are at the peak of any emotion. I agree. Embarrassment could make you defensive. Happiness could make you overgenerous. Being furious could make you irrational. Research shows that “emotions constitute potent, pervasive, predictable, sometimes harmful and sometimes beneficial drivers of decision making”. Imagine already creating a budget for the week. But, because of the delirious happiness that comes with being paid, you decide that you need some reward and buy yourself a meal worth half your whole earning. Funny thing is that the clarity would come WHILE you are eating. The way to maneuver peak emotions is to the effect of a decision on your nearer and farthest future. Our choices literally shape the outcome of our lives. So, why hurt yourself?
  5. Hunger. This goes hand-in-hand with emotions. Being hangry not only inhibits your decision-making skills, it generally hinders your ability to think straight. Eat, and eat healthily.
  6. Information overload. I used to do this thing where I would want to make sure that I am doing the right thing. So, I consult materials upon materials till there are just too many, and I unlock new levels of confusion. When I think back to those moments, I shake my head at the unnecessary mental merry-go-round I put myself through. After getting tired of myself about this, I created a new method for consulting resources: source for materials, select a few (no more than 5 at once), skim through each to determine their relevance, immediately cancel any irrelevant ones, settle for 3 resources and don’t see more until you exhaust those. Of the 3 resources, I engage only one at a time. In some cases that I find over 3 relevant resources, I archive them to consult later. This strategy creates a more controlled mental environment, one that could aid in making better decisions. Also, remember that you simply cannot know it all or achieve any form of perfection. So, don’t hold yourself up to unachievable standards.
  7. Lack of knowledge. I think it is a no-brainer that you can’t make use of the knowledge that you do not have. When I started designing, I used to align my elements with a ruler. Yes, a physical ruler that I would place on my screen. This wasted a significant amount of my time and causes me some frustration. As I began to learn about the tools I was using (Figma and Adobe XD), I discovered the inbuilt tools for alignment. I still look back at those moments and laugh. The truth is that if I did not seek knowledge about those tools, I may still be the ruler girl. The Bible says, “seek, and you shall find”. This is your cue to unlock your curiosity about things that you do not know. Nevertheless, I should advise that it’s fine to learn through making decisions out of ignorance. What makes it worthwhile is if you put your new found knowledge to use next time.

Now you know why you could have made a poor decision that has been bothering you. You are also aware of how not to fall for them again. Your poor decisions do not define you because they are only one aspect of your life that can be reevaluated and corrected. If uncorrectable, you have the opportunity to make many more good decisions, so don’t beat upyourself too much. Keep growing.

This article was especially hard to write because it involved me looking at an “ugly” side of myself that I do not usually probe. Next week, I will talk about what to do about poor decisions and on Monday, I will talk about steps to making good decisions.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#4 – Put yourself first

Sound selfish, doesn’t it?

But, where would be the appropriate place to put yourself? Would last be fine? Do you want to come last in your list of priorities? Would that not cause you to lose yourself? Am I asking too many questions?

I am an avid Twitter user. If you know about that space, you would know that a visit would leave you feeling furious or happy after laughing like crazy. Well, the former was me yesterday. I may or may not have fantasised about dragging some netizens by the ear to talk some sense into them. But, I am a firm believer that arguing on social media is a colossal waste of time. If anything, it leaves you open to whatever anyone has to say. For me, that’s not ideal.

Yesterday … or probably the day before, I read some tweets about a vile lady who destroyed a man’s soul. Apparently, she did not love him enough to marry him but accepted his proposal. She then dumped him, leaving him destitute. Tweeps said it would have not been so if the guy was rich (this is really a heartfelt story for another day). Curious – but not enough – I decided to NOT read the original story. In case you do not know, discussing gender matters on Twitter is like you have decided to willingly rip off every single one of your fingernails. Pretty stupid. So, I absolutely ignore.

Anyway, as I was scrolling through my feeds, I saw a story about a lady and a guy whose love did not work out after she got a Ph.D. admission in another country. The guy proposed after she got the admission. She said he may not have if she hadn’t. She decided that she did not want a marriage of convenience and told the guy that he could come to Canada for her if he was interested.  The lady talked about this with what I perceived as a hint of regret, which grew as she became a ‘single lady’ who received pressure from home to “go and marry”. She finally shut those voices out. A few years later, she met the love of her life.

At this point, you’ve probably realised that this story is the same as the wild one above. Or not? Now, here’s the kicker that Nigerian Twitter was twerking all over the place for. At some point in her thread, she prayed against “destiny destroyers”. To be honest, I attributed this immediately to the ones who were pressuring her to get married, unlike many tweeps who were convinced that she was referring to the guy. Sigh.

Of course, I “I-told-you-soed” myself because I had unwillingly gotten entangled in the web of Twitter gender wars. As expected, I couldn’t help but put into perspective the accusatory tweets I had read before stumbling on the original story. They seemed so crazy to me. Why was this lady being accused of being a potential gold digger? Why was she being castigated because she did not marry the man? Why did it seem okay that she could have sacrificed her happiness and life for him just to get him to Canada by marrying him? Why did this seem okay to multitudes?

Of course, I know the answer to these questions.

Stories of women as well as my own stories tell me that women are expected to be at the bottom of the pile. Even your contributions and the results of the work of your hands come miles ahead of you. Let others go first, else you are selfish. Think about how your own life decision will affect others before you think about yourself. Even if you have achieved more, don’t rub it in the face of the men … or anyone around you. In fact, don’t talk about your achievements because they definitely need to feel superior to you. They are the heads, remember? Stay in your lane.

Well, here’s a newsflash. I will stay in my lane. In that lane, I come first. Anyone who comes before me, I choose to put there. I am not selfish because my decision is inconvenient for you. Boohoo.

Ladies, boldly put your happiness, peace of mind, success, prospects, desires (and so on) first. You can’t help anyone if you are suffering, so you need to take care of yourself. It would be helpful if you take your independence seriously. Perhaps, the most significant form of independence is financial freedom. Don’t depend on anyone, especially men, to feed, house, or clothe you. I will talk about the importance of financial freedom in one of my #500WordADay series. Until then, put yourself first!

 

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#3 – I’m fine?

I am writing this at 9:23pm on the 7th of Feb, 2022 because I can’t hold it in. Not only my words, my tears too. I just read a message that someone sent to me in February 2020. I neither recall reading it nor responding to it. What is worse is that my response sounded so happy. One thing I know is that I was definitely not. As I read it, it occurred to me that I have not come to terms with what happened that year. Like every bad memory I have, my brain seems to have fogged it. I know how I felt, though. I felt lonely and lost and was sure that no one cared. But that message, as I read it with clear eyes this night, proved that thought wrong. I still don’t want to talk about it. The events of 2020 and early 2021, I mean.

However, I promised myself that I would be more vulnerable this year. One reason is that I am simply tired of holding so many emotions in and almost exploding. I want to be angry and not have to “watch my words”, else… I want to be happy and not worry that it will make someone sad, another person angry, or one person suspicious. I don’t want to act like everything is fine when nothing is. Likewise, I don’t want to feel ashamed of being hurt, as my brain is telling me to be right now. You will be mocked, Olamide. Okay, let me be, then. I am tired. Truly, though, I don’t know how to be vulnerable because I am used to being guarded. Because being not guarded means that I have given room for mockery. I will stop here and hope that I am able to unpack all of this someday. I wish myself the very best, as I always have. Someday, I hope to look back at moments like this to see how Lami has grown from a quirky girl of 12 (my earlier significant memory) through teenagehood and kinda adulthood to where ever she is when she reads this again.

I hope that I will have the courage to post this.

9:51pm.

#2 – Learn to stop

I looooveee being busy. It gives me a sense of purpose and makes me feel like I am on the road to amazing success. As I grow up, I realise that this is not always true. The expression, “work smart, not hard” keeps resonating with me. And as I consider it in relation to life, I see that it is absolutely true.  Hard work does not equate to or guarantee success. In fact, it could impede one’s growth. Let me explain.

As I try to manuever procratination, I developed a habit of finishing tasks at one sitting. For example, when I need to do an assignment, I want it complete, or at least almost complete on my first attempt. What this does for me is to give me a better sense of direction the next time I pick the work up for, hopefully, a final review. This truly works for me. However, it also means that may times, I spend a whole day doing only one task. By the end of the week, I may have only done three substantial activities, all with so much effort and time. Do you see how inefficient this is?

Not only is my hard work very “unsmart”, it is 100% a new style of procrastination. This time, though, it feels less like it.

If you haveFor you to stop procrastinating, you need to learn to end things first . Give sleeping and waking up example. Doing work is bit justifiable

 

POV: i had to stop writing this article to move tomy next task because I did not complete it under the 30 minutes allocated for it.

It’s Sunday, 6 February 2022. I just deleted about 4 to 5 sentences because I did not think they were good enough. That’s okay, though.

To feel dejected means to feel low in spirit, sad, unmotivated, or forlorn. To be honest, I can absolutely relate. I think it’s a natural human feeling to have, especially with all that’s been going on in the past few years. Also, for people in their teens and twenties – who I can relate to more – our growing years seem like our falling apart year. Jeez. Overwhelming things seem to be happening left and right. Worse of all is that no one seems to understand. You feel lost and out of place. You want to hide, yet need to stay in people’s peripherals, so they can remember you for opportunities. Know what’s even funnier? That friend that looks to be doing super great also feels dejected and sees you as the one who is doing suer great. Don’t even get me started on the panic episodes. Let’s talk about how you can feel less dejected. Or more appropriately, let’s talk about how you can feel happy… or joyful!

  1.  Cry. Harvard Health reports that crying releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids (endorphins) which are “feel-good” chemicals that ease emotional and physical pain. Even without the science, have you noticed that you feel better and relieved after crying? I, for one, feel more clear-headed. Post-tears, I begin to have a more realistic view of the situation I am in and realise I only really needed to release a dangerous buildup of stress. The next time you feel forlorn, cry it out, and maybe take a nap while you’re at it.
  2. Accept the situation. I remember how I used to try to CHANGE every single thing that was not working out well. Looking back now, I see how I was running a fool’s errand. Things can never be all good. You can never get everything right. People won’t always get things right. An event won’t always go as planned. The truth is that all of these are totally fine. One trick I use is to think about if something would matter a few weeks or months from now. If not, I absolutely move on. Be less of a fixer, and you’ll find joy in no time.
  3. Enjoy the process. In other words, don’t despise the days of little beginning. Yes, things take time. No, you are not slow. Have you tried to evaluate your progress? Assuming you are learning how to sew. It’s been a month now, and you now know how to sew a skirt. Then, you feel sad because that’s the “only” thing you know how to do. I think you do yourself a disservice by thinking that! First, that’s not the “only” thing you know how to do! After one month, you can design a skirt, measure and cut a pattern, use a sewing machine, and actually sew.  The best part is that only 30 days ago, you did not know how to do all of those things. Isn’t that exciting? What’s more? You have more months ahead to improve your skill further. This is worth feeling joyful for, don’t you agree?
This is 500 words (or more ?) ! Talk to you tomorrow!

Sup,

Some side note:

I will start some serious writing on topics like accessibility, inequality, linguistics, societal issues, etc mid-May. Right now, I’m preparing for my exams, and would like to use this space just to cool off. Writing on those topics would require a lot of reading that I can’t, realistically, commit to at the moment.

Today’s article:

Very few other things suffocate me more than restrictions. By all means, I want to be free, have multiple options, and be able to change at any point. You get the gist.

This knowledge about myself just hit me recently. I noticed that it is true across virtually all aspects of my life. For example, when I am about to do an assignment, I never consult less than 5 articles (this may even be understating things). I never do because I believe people have different perspectives on an issue. Thus, I want to know as much as I can, understand how each study’s view align or conflict, and create my own well-informed judgement. This would mean having a number of tabs open on my browser. Sometimes, it creates a clutter that I can’t handle. So, I stop opening new tabs and read through the already opened ones to decide if I will use the papers or not.

Notice three things here: my need for many options, the clutter it creates, and my not being able to handle clutter.

Another instance is when I want to pick a movie to watch. This is a typically long process. I read reviews, consider ratings, ready storylines, survey the casts, and even gauge cover arts. After a long search, I could end up picking something I like. Sometimes, though, I get overloaded and decide to “just pick one and watch”. If I don’t enjoy it, I stop and try another… till I find the one I want.

See a pattern? My need for many options, the clutter it creates, and my not being able to handle clutter.

Obviously, I need to work on this habit. I realised this today while I was curating a folder/list of resources that I will be consulting throughout my dopamine detox era. I’ve not told you about this yet… you’ll learn more in one of my subsequent articles. The folder/list contains tweets on research, design, and life that I had bookmarked over the course of a few months and some YouTube videos on the same (I had downloaded those on my YT mobile app).

Do you know what I realised? A sizable number of tweets I had bookmarked were from the same people! This was also the case for the YouTube videos. Can you just imagine? It was not done on purpose at all.

What does this mean? It obviously means that my subconscious knows exactly what it wants. However, my conscious habit of wanting many options overshadows it when I am aware of my needs and actions. In turn, I go all in my quest to get what I HAVE to be sure is what I need. My natural inclination to be organised and specific soon takes over as an information overload happens in my brain. So, to calm down, I “just pick one”.

So far, the only place I have been able to somewhat master this need for many options is in sourcing academic materials. Although too many articles create clutter, I am able to conveniently skim through them, sort, and select the ones I need. So, it’s never really much of a problem. Now that I think of it, this also happens with physical clutter. I only need to survey and sort to take care of clutter. I’m very keen on figuring out the connection between both of these.

In the meantime, I understand that while it is totally fine to want many options, it can’t and shouldn’t always apply to all situations. I should be open to selecting the “first option among many” as well as being satisfied with an “only option”. I shouldn’t always seek an optimal candidate, but could try to make the best out of what is available. In addition, I can’t always be free to do what I want. So, rather than feel restricted, I could think of how rules beget order. Finally, I can’t always have the opportunity to change. Thus, rather than feel constricted, I could enjoy the beauty of time passing, with the future prospects of looking fondly at those moments as experiences that allowed me to grow.

From now, I want to deliberately choose the first option or only option I find and see it through till the end, even if I want to change it. I will start with a movie.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Some some-what exciting news to share with you:

Sis, I just realised that I don’t like to guess!

My sister sent a text to me saying, “guess what”. Immediately I saw it like this, a million and one scenarios zipped right through my head. I became super terrified, even though I knew it would not be bad news. Who says “guess what” for bad news? Anyway, I did take a guess, but it was about the unlikeliest of things to happen. I did that as comic relief to soothe my thumping heart. Of course, I was wrong. Anyway, she related the information she had, and it was a good one, in case you were wondering ????

Today’s article:

I want to be as free from any form of societal expectation as I can possibly manage. No, I won’t outrightly disregard sensible rules just to make a silly point. I’ll just not let expectations that make no practical sense guide how I live my life. For example, I will definitely not subdue myself just to make a man feel like a “man”

I had the chance to see this video today, sadly. I can’t express how much disgust I feel, to be honest. But, think of something that irritates you to the point that thinking about it makes you gag. That’s exactly how I feel. For me, this is slightly above the level of the sight and smell of caramel. This should tell you all you need to know.

Hi people,

I have a voicicle for you today!

Have a great listen:

These are 500 words (or less ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

You would agree that after post #34, this is completely expected. Drop the intention of “a lawsuit if Lami didn’t do the needful”. I got you covered, my friend.

I’ll talk about pyramids.

What is a pyramid? It is a “three-dimensional shape with a square base and triangular sides that meet in a point”, according to National Geographic. Pyramids are ancient temples or tomb structures.

You’ve probably seen pictures online. In case you’ve seen a pyramid in real life, send me pictures, pweessee ?

The first thing we associate pyramids with is the land of Egypt. However, did you know that other countries host the incredible monument too? Yes, you can find pyramids in countries like Sudan, Brazil, China, France, Indonesia, Italy, and Mexico, to name a few.

Today, I discovered that pyramids also exist in Nigeria! I’m shook, and will come back to this soon.

Of course, Egypt is the baba of them all, hosting up to 118 of the world’s over 400 (and counting) pyramids. Beyond this, Egypt is also home to the original largest pyramid in the world, The Great Pyramid of Giza (TGPG). I say, “original” because the three other pyramids that have overtaken it were constructed only a few hundred to tens of years ago. TGPG was constructed between 2551-2528 BC (over 4000 years ago… how old were you then?) within a period of 10 to 20 years and stands at about 454.5 feet (think 76 6ft humans standing on top of each other). It has a smooth white limestone casing that reflected sunlight and moonlight at some point, which made it about 481 feet tall. Unfortunately, that has been removed now. TGPG is also part of the old seven wonders of the world.

Bruh, I love all these for Egypt, but did you know that Sudan has the most number of pyramids in the world? You should read more about them.

I’m bringing it home now. Let’s talk about the Nsude Pyramids of Nigeria.

Nsude Pyramids
Nsude Pyramids. Image Credit: igbodefender.com

 

Built with red clay that dried and hardened with time, the Nsude pyramids are clear evidence of the existence of a once-thriving pre-colonial African society;the Igbo people of West Africa.

I must mention that I strongly believe that every culture in Africa was once a developed nation before strange men sat at a round table to devise gruesome means to destroy thriving economies blessed with people who were minding their business. On this note, I am Yoruba before I am Nigerian, just as my fellow Ibibio, Igbo, Egun, Hausa, and Fulani, are who they are before they were assigned Nigerian at birth. Nevertheless, I strongly believe in a thriving Nigeria if we all hold one another’s hands and decide to pursue freedom from a shackled mentality. I desperately want to see my country bloom as it should. Nigeria has every human and material resource it needs to be one of the best countries in the world.

Sigh. On another note, it pains me to think about colonialism and how the histories of African communities are either long perished or utterly rewritten to make certain persons the saviours. I’m curious about when our stolen treasures will be returned.

Moving on (if I can ever manage to)…

The Nsude pyramids are a series of pyramids located on the Udi highlands of Enugu State. The true number of pyramids is unknown, but some people say 10. Enugu is in the South-East of Nigeria, and is popularly known as the “Coal City state”.

The period of construction or purpose of the pyramids is still uncertain. One sure fact is that they were built by innovative ancient Igbo people. Sources have it that it was built by the Eri-era Igbos. These people are thought to have a Judeo-Nubian connection. They “came from Eri Ben Gad’s household in the Chineroth area in Canaan, and from the households of some Nubian chieftains he met in the Saqqara area of Egypt-Sudan” – Source.

This is plausible if we consider the fact that the Nsude pyramids are structurally similar to Egypt’s first pyramid, the Step pyramid of Saqqara which was constructed in 2648 BC. The Nsude pyramids are structurally different from most pyramids. They are circular and have 4 to 5 steep steps. The base have a circumference of about 60ft and is about 2-6ft high.

Concerning their purpose, some posit that they were created for the worship of the gods, Ala or Uto. A stick was placed at the top the pyramid where it was believed that either of them resided. Others believe that it could have also been a post for surveying invaders.

I wonder how the idea for the pyramid came. I have always had the belief that multiple people can have the exact same idea. So, perhaps someone’s Igbo ancestor ingeniously  got the creative idea to build the interesting structure. S/he then told his/her peeps, and they were like, “yoooo, let’s do it!”. Then, s/he was given a “Clan’s Innovative Person of the Year” award.

On the other hand, it is also reasonable to think that some peeps migrated from Egypt to somewhere around Umuaka and Ugwuto and brought the idea with them. Alternatively, an Igbo traveller could have been touring the world, seen a pyramid, and just knew that her/his nation had to have that too.

Also, what is the original Igbo name of the structures? Surely, the ancient Igbo people did not call them, “pyramids”.

I also wonder about the tools used for construction.

 

The Nsude Pyramids stand as shreds of evidence of cultural and technological advancement. I’m not surprised that the Igbos had pyramids. They also had an ancient writing system.

The pyramids stood tall for hundreds or possibly thousands of years. At the moment, they are left to their fate. I hope that, someday, people will rise and restore these historical monuments to their former glory.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Sup,

I have a headache as I type this. However, I am consoled by the fact that it is going to be a cool night. It means that I will have a relaxing night’s rest.

I am happy right now! Well, because of the sweet sleep to come, but also because I told people the truth today. The two truths I told had been weighing on my mind, one for over one month, and the other for a few days. I did not share the first because I was too embarrassed and thought I would be scolded. For both, I was just waiting for the “right time”. Of course, the famous “right time” can be a myth in some cases… like the two I am currently speaking of.

The relief I feel after lifting this burden off my shoulder makes me wonder why I carried them for so long. Why do we hedge? Why do we hesitate? What does this “right time” have on us that makes it successful in its endeavour to shackle us?

Think myopically with me.

If the right time is the time we decide to make our move, what makes it different from other times? The keyword here is decide. Some might say preparedness or feasibility makes all the difference. Suuurrree. Can you, then, tell me what the right time to sleep and wake up are? You probably don’t see my point because this point isn’t even pointing for me either.

Nevertheless, what I am saying is that the quest for the “right time” isn’t valid in all situations. Sometimes, you need to make a decision at the very moment it occurs to you. Start that exercise routine. Start applying for jobs even if you think you are not qualified enough. Tell someone exactly how you feel (except your ex, you creep). Most importantly, unlike me, relieve yourself of the truth immediately! IMO, there isn’t a right time for the truth to be told.

These are 500 words (or less ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Ladies and gentlemen! Some logical stuff dropped in my head today.

I had a lecturer at 2pm and got to school around that time. As I entered my school gate, I saw a lot of banners placed around the entrance. Some of them were huge.

There are two routes to get to my class at psychology. From the entrance, I could go down the road and turn right. I could also take a turn right into a field a few steps from the gate. This would mean walking on a diagonal path, making the distance considerably shorter. I preferred the second route for obvious reasons.

However, some construction work is ongoing in that field. It was barricaded with makeshift fence. Not backing down, people created a path right behind one of the fences. I’m uncertain if the new path can still be classified as a shortcut

ANywAy, I noticed that part of the makeshift fence was removed last week. So, people, including me, have resumed passing the field shortcut.

As I entered school today, the boards blocked my view of the field. I wanted to ensure that the makeshift  fence was still removed today… My intention was to see if the field was still assessable, and if not, to quickly switch to the detour behind one of the fences.

Right from the gate, I tried to stretch my neck, but couldn’t see a thing. I also tried to walk faster.

Then, it hit me that no matter how hard I tried, I would not have seen the field. Even if I jumped, it would have also been pointless at that moment. If I eventually got close enough and saw the fence has been put back up, it would take me less than 5 seconds to backtrack to the detour. In contrast, I could have also seen that the fence was still down when I got close enough. That would have also been great.

The point here is that I did not need  to know the state of the fence until I was right in front of it.

This is how some of us approach life. We try to plan, prepare, and put things in place days, month, and years before they happen. We plan an original move and a spare one in case the first did not work out. In trying to peer into the future, we overtask our minds and bodies. Soon, if we can’t project what the future holds, worry begin to set in. We ask ourselves questions like, “how would I cope”. If, per chance, we do get a glimpse of how the future will be, we still worry and then struggle to align ourselves to that future picture. Our anxiety goes through the roof when we think we are not doing enough and “will never make it” to the point we have envisioned.

How about we pause and consider this: there is a reason our human eyes have a limit to what they see. We can only see so far because we should only see so far. It is also an indication that we need to move forward to see the great distance materialise before us. This tells us to calm down. We can get to the farthest point we see now if we just keep moving. The pace hardly matters. Also, stretching our necks or pausing to jump to peer even further will only slow us down.

So, there is no need to worry about the unknown or known future. It is fine to plan ahead, but don’t let that be the only thing that occupies your mind, so you don’t end up only seeing the options you have created for yourself.

My options were to pass the diagonal shortcut if the fence was still down, or take the detour behind one of the fences if the opposite was the case. I did not think of the possibility of neither of those options being available. If this was the case, I may have been taken aback, and the thought of taking the long route would have been distressing. However, if I had the intention to work around any situation I was met with, taking the longer route would not have been much of a problem. See that? In my “unpreparedness”, I was ready to think on the spot and tackle anything that came my way.

I charge you to relax on the A-Z planning and worry about the future, and to take things in good stride.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

I got invited to a wedding today. Right now, it reminds me of how I don’t want to have a big wedding.

Let me explain.

In Nigeria, especially my tribe, wedding ceremonies are a huge deal. If you are a Christian, you also have to do a church wedding. As I am both a Christian and a Yoruba gal, the expectations are pretty high.

The thing about Yoruba weddings is that after the church ceremony, people begin to troop into the usually massive “reception” hall. By people, I mean, over a 100 of them, to say the least. The horror. The newly-wed would then have to dance into the reception hall. Some even go the extra mile and present a whole choreography. The horror. I just can’t.

Other activities in the reception include more dancing, some extra dancing, and even more dancing.

I don’t want a big wedding ceremony because I feel mortified just thinking about doing any of the things I stated above. Hard pass. However, as one’s parents and relatives are likely to be very much involved in one’s wedding planning process in these parts, my intention is to do it secretly. I relish the idea of their surprised/shocked faces when I announce my marriage to them. The other option is to insist very firmly on a tiny wedding that will definitely exclude a reception hall. It may also exclude a church wedding, but I’m still uncertain about that. The “reception” will be a small home gathering of family and a few friends, or nothing at all.

As for children, I want a lot. Let’s stop here.

Do you ever think about why the chicken cross the road? It’s my go-to question whenever I want to officially start musing. Example:

Hmmm… Why did the chicken cross the road?

How is it possible that the sky is above and below us at the same time?

Is the law of gravity really right? Hear me out. The earth is spherical, right??? This means that the mass of ground across the would is a sphere; the earth’s core. So, as the earth rotates, people in some parts of the world are standing upside down, rigghhhtttt? Then, the law of gravity should be the core of the earth has a special magnetic field that attracts the occupants of the earth (animate or inanimate) to it. In this way, whatever moves away from it (not upward) would be pulled back.

Let’s talk about water too. What is under there? It’s just too mysterious. Are mermaids real? If they aren’t, why do many cultures have them in their folklore/historical tales? Pretty interesting.

Also, how in the world were the pyramids built???!!!!! Not to talk of all the other mega historical structures around the world. It makes me wonder if we are really the only set of humans who have reached this level of technological advancement. If not that, then the humans before us were much wiser and stronger. They probably also used a larger % of their brain capacity.

One question I have been unable to answer is why the moon keeps following me around. JK… or, am I??

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#33 – How to Try

Once, twice, thrice?? How many times do you have to try to conclude that you’ve done your best? How do you even determine what your best is?

Listen to me talk about it on my voicicle today:

Remember to do some self-reflection and fact-finding.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Are we really oversharing, or does no one want to listen? Are we really oversharing, or does no one around us care? Are we really oversharing, or does the Internet care too much about our posts? Can it be called oversharing if you post your happy, quirky, sad, angry, curious, or disgusted self because you want to and for the world to see?

Definition

Why

How

The world’s reaction

As you well know by now, I am doing a Master’s programme and am super excited about all the academic stuff. One thing that occasionally stresses me, though, is writing. What’s worse is that I have to do it every day. So, asides from this space, I dedicate time to writing in my academic space almost daily.

For some papers, the words flow pretty well, while for others, I won’t be able to get a word down for days. The worst of this has been my thesis. For weeks, any attempt at writing was met with uncontrollable, severe anxiety.

I assumed it was because the topic I chose was new to me. You see, I am working on the patterns of language impairment in dementia. Everything about this research area, except language, is quite new to me.

So, I embarked on some extensive reading. Using Excel first, then switching to RemNotes, I created a detailed review of all the literature I consulted. Then, I tried writing again… and failed.

Failing to start my thesis had been the highlight of my life for weeeeksss… until something incredible happened on late Monday night/early Tuesday morning. I wrote a 10-paged article on “Children and Witchcraft in Nigeria” (for my Child Development class) in only two seating. It occurred to me that I knew absolutely nothing about that topic until the moment I started writing.

So, why was it easier? Why did the ideas flow smoothly? It was my approach!

It turns out that for my thesis, I was using a writing style that did not suit my thought process. I also saw it as such a “big deal” on which I could not afford to do poorly no matter what. For some context, I consulted several YT videos on how to write a thesis… just to get it right.

This was not a bad idea, I just followed a writing model that was wrong for me. So, I decided to switch to the style I used for the “Children and Witchcraft in Nigeria” paper. Here are the steps:

  1. Light reading of different sources to get an outline
  2. Select papers to be used (there isn’t a limit on how many, but you’ll know when you have enough)
  3. Create an outline
  4. Write everything from my head, questionable sentences and all. As much as possible, avoid editing
  5. Divide my screen into two. One part will be my browser/pdf reader and the other will be Word. Switch “Word” with “pen and paper” if I’m going manual
  6. Copy my outline on a new page and add content under the relevant headers (the points on the outline are my headers)
  7. Consult sources and get quotes/ideas. Preferable, reading the entire article will do. To work fast, though, I skim through and read parts that are relevant to the work at hand. 5 to 10 minutes per article is acceptable. Document the meaning/ideas gotten from the quote.
  8. Cite and add the source to my reference list immediately. This saves time!
  9. At this point, snatches of seemingly disjointed writing are everywhere on my document/book. The headers on Word help me make sense of things. Plus, I can always move content around. This is impossible with pen and paper, so I number each bulk of content (I typically write in bullet points). If I have 5 points turn header on my outline, I simply add a correlating number to the content on my book.
  10. When I have felt like I’m veering off, I read the entire work-in-progess paper or a substantial part to recalibrate my line of thought. I reread it multiple times during the process of writing.
  11. Consult and add new citations are needed (this is inevitable)
  12. Edit!!!

This is exactly what I’ve done with my thesis, and I have 10 pages on my first chapter in just one day! I am currently shuffling between steps 7 to 11. The game-changer for me was most definitely step 4.

Note that it is not just about the number of pages, quality also matters, maybe even more. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Reflecting now, this is the writing approach most natural to me, and which I have been unconsciously using (although excluding some steps like 2, 8, and 11 which I only recently learned for my YT consultations).

The line of action for you now – if you are thinking of having one – is to find the writing style that works for you. Of course, consult web and people resources. There is always something new to learn. Take some time for you to read extensively if you need to. Also, it is okay for you to think that you writing rubbish when you start your first draft. Let go of the need to be perfect. The goal is to get content on paper/screen first. Editions/corrections can come later. You can’t edit a blank paper, can you? Good luck!

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

10:24 am. I just dropped by to get started. I will add to this article as the day unfolds.

In my view, Nigeria thrives on socio-economic disparities and oppression. We are intrinsically a classist society. As much as possible, the distinction between the poor and the rich is deliberately highlighted by everything around us: living environment and expenses, food, clothing, extracurricular activities, vehicle and gadget ownership (as well as the type), association, salary, and language, to name a few.

In Lagos, for example, we associate the environs of “the Island” with high class. The ownership of an iPhone elevates one to a higher status. If you take drinks like ‘Fearless’ or buy food from the roadside, you are looked down upon. To wear popular clothes means you are cheap.

1:49 pm. My Child Development class ended some minutes ago, and it seems like the content of the class in relation to my topic for today is linked by destiny. We looked at the Nigerian policy on child development. One thing that my lecturer, Professor Oguntuase, hammered on was class disparities. I’ll be back here to talk about this soon. I am currently working on my thesis at the library.

The literal next day, 6:13 pm. I couldn’t come back here yesterday ?. TBH, what happened was that I became overwhelmed with life, put my phone on “me mode”, watched some shows for three hours till I started dosing, and slept thereafter. I feel so much better now.

In yesterday’s class, I learned that Nigeria has a child development policy. The National Policy for Integrated Early Childhood Development in Nigeria was created in 2003 and has not been updated since. There are different sections in the pamphlet (attached here), but 2.0. Justification stands out. The number one justification for the policy is:

Class struggle (high crave for wealth leading to corruption and decadent moral values)

– IECD (2003; 4)

19 years, class struggle still remains a prominent problem in Nigerian society. The well intended consequence for this is that the deprived remains so and the blessed, lucky, or grub – whatever you want to all if also main their status.

Sometimes, I get super confident about my writing skills. I read some of my work and swell with pride at how well I write. At that moment, my voice of self-doubt masquerading as a voice of reasoning rears its ugly head.

“Don’t be proud. Why are you bragging about being able to write? Others should praise you, not you doing the job yourself”, it says.

Now, I am responding that, “Why should I not be proud of a skill that I have honed through years of practice? Scaling writer’s block, bad writing, and YOU – Mr/Ms Self-doubt, I am on my way to becoming a master of my art. Therefore, allow me… No, I don’t need permission… Therefore, I will shower myself with praises whenever I want”.

I also like to write like a Nigerian. We have some interesting expressions that can’t be captured by any other variety of English. You don’t get? Anyway sha, read on.

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It’s about time I wrote about the concept that has given my career and academic path a clear direction; accessibility.

While thinking one day like this (Nigerian expression alert), I realised that I have always been conscious of accessibility, or, more broadly, closing the gap of inequalities. I had several books around the age of 10 to 14 where I mused, in narration and songs, about what I wanted to be when I grew up. One word I loved was, “philanthropist”. I just HAD to use it after hearing it and discovering its meaning. Here, from memory, is one of the things I wrote:

I wanna be a philanthropist, so like right now

Help so many people in the world

I wanna be on the cover of Ovation Magazine

– Lami Williams, 2010

… I can’t recall the rest. I’ll make sure to pick up my books the next time I go home (my dad’s place) and post juicy pictures of my writings here. Some context/additional information:

  • The lyrics are to the tune of “Billionaire” by Bruno Mars ?
  • Ovation magazine was a popular magazine in Nigeria in the 2000s/early 2010s. I remember switching Forbes for Ovation because I did not think being on Forbes was achievable.
  • 12-year-old me wanted to gain fame for being a philanthropist. The girl can dream, let’s not judge.

What I had in mind was to help people who were homeless, and orphaned (I knew them as “motherless babies”). As I write, the memories jeer me. How in the world did a young child think up all of this? Anyway, those were my deepest concerns and my reason for wanting to build the Orange City. My thought was that it was unfair for some people to easily have something while others suffered. The Orange City would be a safe haven for people who did not have homes. That way, they would not have to live under the bridge anymore. Children without parents would also have a place they belonged.

12 years later, my thoughts have not changed. I still ponder about inequalities. Of course, I know more things now. I know that inequalities are a systemic part of human society. The rich grow richer, and the poor continually dwell in abject poverty. Oppression is the order of the day. You’re overlooked if you are not “all that”.

People who are disabled live substandard life in many parts of the world. Let’s come to my country, Nigeria. How many people in wheelchairs have you seen boarding buses on the street? Have you ever seen a blind person at ICM? It’s not like they don’t exist, our world is just not built to accommodate them. So, they isolate and go to the few places where systematically accepted. Inequality also exists in this community. While some can afford state-of-the-art assistive devices, others can only afford hope.

Students who are “a bit slow to learn” are verbally and physically abused in school, not given the opportunity to figure out what is wrong and the chance to be better. The brilliant ones are celebrated and the “dull” ones are neglected without consideration that they may need medical attention. Someone has 20 houses in Lagos alone, yet an entire family lives on the roadside.

It is easier for some to get out of tough situations than others. A select few don’t even get into tough situations at all. The top concern of person A is how to find his next meal after 2 days. For Person B, it’s which meal out 7 choices he should have for brunch.

As said in Nigerian pidgin, “this life no balance at al o”. No, you shouldn’t blame yourself that you have more than others. It’s the system (created by us) that should be questioned. No, don’t feel bad for having. Rather, question how you can get the same opportunities and privileges you have to other people who desperately need them.

Our disregard for equality has caused us to exclude vital members of our community. They go hand in hand; inequality, exclusion, and inaccessibility. My articles for this week will be about these. I would like to hear from you if you have any thoughts to share.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#27 – Grief

10:45 pm. While writing, I thought of so many ways to start this article. Let’s just go with this:

I think I am going through grief.

Denial. I convinced myself that the show ended well. The writers definitely had a convincing narrative. I also wholly relate to it. So, it’s fine.

Anger. Why would Na Hee Do and Baek Yi Jin end like that? They could have worked things out, after all, they’ve been doing so for years. It is unfair for all their sacrifices to end up being for nothing.

Bargaining. You know, the show has an open ending. Maybe they did get back together and the writer-nim wants us to put the pieces together. I think there may be a second season. I mean, why did they not show Hee Do’s husband? Maybe Hee Do’s daughter’s name is just a stage name. That would explain why her last name is “Kim”, not “Baek”… I’ll take anything, please!?

Depression. I just want to cry, eat, and sleep. Leave me alone… or hug me.

Acceptance: Boy, they really did break up. Sigh. The writers are being real. This is what happens in real life.

I have a personal final stage of grief: forgetting what happened. Lucky for me, my brain takes care of this. By the end of the new week, I will barely be able to remember the events that occurred in the final episode. However, I’ll still sadly need to deal with the feelings of nostalgia, hurt, fondness, and maybe some occasional resentment. One thing I know for sure is that I will not be rewatching Twenty-Five, Twenty-One.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My number one reason for watching any movie/show/series or reading books is to take a break from reality. So, you’ll never catch me dead taking in any content that I know has a sad ending, no matter how good it is. The moment I get the feeling that I may be heading for a tragic close, I run to the Internet to confirm if my suspicion is true. If true, I stop watching/reading immediately.

This is why I would be rewriting the end of 2521. I can’t accept this sad ending. I don’t care about reality. Inject fantasies and dreams into my bloodstream, please.

Here’s what REALLY happened:

Yi Jin (YJ) and Hee Do (HD) totally lean on each other while they both pursue their careers in different countries. YJ confides in HD about his struggles in New York and HD tells him about her worries. Whenever YJ comes to Korea, they make the best of their time. They both put in their best effort to make their relationship work.

HD, being so spontaneous, asks that they get married. Of course, YJ agrees… The hopeless romantic!

They wed secretly just for the fun of it and plan to announce it after HD’s retirement. It coincides with YJ becoming an anchor in UBS, Korea. Great for both of them!

Everyone is shocked to hear about their marriage, but not overly surprised.

But why is Min Chae a Kim? It’s her stage name, duh! She wants to be out of the cloud of her parents’ popularity and choose to have a common name. Typical.

And they lived happily ever after. Then end.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Today, I sought out myself. I read #9 – Can delight cost so little? and could totally relate!

Today is one of those days when I seem to have rolled down the hill of happiness into a sad pool. Yesterday, I was at the top of the hill. I successfully pranked 5 groups of people for April Fools’. I had quite a laugh. They did too. It made me feel content and glad. I wanted to narrate pranks here, but I think I would prefer them to stay in my head and private journal.

Let me share some facts about April Fool’s Day. It’s pretty crazy that a whole day is set aside to allow people freely prank one another. Quite fun too. From multiple web sources, here are a few things that you need to know about the day:

  1. Alias. It is also called All Fools’ Day
  2. History. Apparently, it may have originated from the Middle Ages, when most towns in Europe celebrated New Year’s Day on March 25. Why, though? France had a holiday that would last till April 1. In 1563, France moved from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar. However, some people did not realise that the date had changed, and they still celebrated in the old way. They became the objects of mockery. People would stick poisson d’avril (April fish) or paper fish on their backs to say that they were “easily hooked” or gullible people. IMO, humans haven’t changed much, lol.
  3. History? Some say that this history may be wrong, though. I’ll give two reasons. First, what could have been the first mention of April Fool’s was in 1508 by Eloy d’Amerval, a French poet who said: “poisson d’avril” which literally means “April’s fish” as stated above. Second, there is a mention of April Fool’s in a 1561 poem by a Flemish poet named Eduard de Dene. This negates the idea that April Fool’s started after 1563. It’s thought-provoking how history becomes distorted as life move on to the future. It makes you wonder how many historical “facts”, especially the ones with no clear documentation, are truly accurate. How true will the things happening now be presented 177 years from now? Perhaps the Internet would allow for better accuracy… if it still exists. If you are reading this from the future, hi, the person writing this is the world’s official most beautiful person ?.
  4. “Kick me” reference. Some say Scotland’s way of celebrating it may be the origin of the famous “kick me” sticker on one’s back. People who are pranked are called gowks (cuckoo birds). On Taily Day, the second day, pranks involving the butt are played. Yes, Scots celebrate April Fool’s for two days. I agree with whyever this is so.
  5. April 1 is a holiday in Cyprus and Odessa, Ukraine. I challenge you to find out the reason on your own. Let me know what you find!
  6.  Some genuine news have been taken as April Fool’s jokes. One of such is the announcement of Gmail by Google. I can only imagine this! ?

I’ll stop here today. Read more about April Fool’s Day here and here.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#25 – Self Approval

This week and the week before, one of my lecturers, Dr Hunjo talked about self-approval:

“Learn self verdict”, he said. “When you identify your doubt, take note of why it has manifested, so you can eliminate it. Then, replace the factors of doubt with accurate knowledge. The application of knowledge will help you discover if you are confident or not”.

A verdict is a judgment arrived at after weighing facts. To do this to yourself means evaluating the truths surrounding your situation and reaching a conclusion about the reality and effects of your actions. Self-approval is anchored on personal respect, love, and kindness. Here are four ways you can practice self-approval:

  1. Accept yourself. “I made the right decision today”, “I messed up”, I have tried my best”. These are acknowledgements that you should be comfortable enough to make about yourself. Accept yourself. Know that you are human and are bound to have both strengths and weaknesses. You can be skilled at one thing and awful at the other. When you think that you always have to meet a certain standard, you begin to unintentionally create conditions for you to love yourself. Today, take deliberate steps to accept that not-so-great part of yourself.
  2. Be unaware of what the world wants. This is a struggle for me. I am constantly alert to expectations. I also do this unconsciously. Every so often, I catch myself in that state and try to drag myself back to unawareness. I tell myself that I don’t need to care about what I imagine others people expect of me. Some reasons are that they probably do not even have me in their thoughts or that they’re just trying to be controlling. But, I know that there shouldn’t be a reason to be oblivious to people’s expectations. It just should not be an option at all. Your life is yours. In the same way, you should commandeer it according to your own desires. This brings me to my next point.
  3. Chose you and your opinion. Asides from the voice in your head that assumes people’s opinions for you, a few daring persons may reply their thoughts to you unprovoked. Of course, countless people with great intentions give solid advice all the time. However, when a piece of advice tells you to be less than yourself, it is not worth it. In such encounters, let your opinions matter the most.
  4. Be confident in your abilities/desires/needs/worries... anything, really. Like I always say to myself, “who will sue you?”. Except in some questionable situations, you can’t be sued for being confident. So, send that tweet, talk to that new person, make that presentation, and study for that exam because you sure might ace all four. The worst-case scenario is that you fail. The worse worst-case scenario is that you fail woefully. On the plus side, if this happens, you now know one way, not to any of those asks. Joking apart, your failures should help you to be able to look inwards and become better. Learning from Dr Hunjo, when you identify what made you fail, you have a better chance of eliminating it.
  5. Don’t ask or wait for permission before you take actions that concern you.

One of the things that I will not stop emphasising is being kind to yourself. Can you ever tell anyone point-blank that, “you are horrible”, “you are a failure”, or “your opinion is trash”? Can you look some in the eyes and wish them a complete failure? If you can be that considerate and kind to someone, what is stopping you from being kind to yourself? The keys to self-approval are self-love, respect, and kindness.

 

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

 

Whenever I am close to a deadline, my first instinct is to put in 100% effort. Sometimes, as the deadline becomes closer, it hits me that I can’t complete whatever it is that I was working on. I then create a new deadline in my head and work with 100% concentration towards that. But, what about the other things I have to do? It means that I have inevitably pushed all those things forward, creating an almost-certain situation of missing multiple future deadlines.

What’s the right move to make, in that case? Of course, I need to plan better and ensure that a close due date is not my motivation. But what if I fall into such occurrence still? Yesterday, I realised that the right move is to forge ahead with other tasks. As I spend some amount of time on my new tasks, I can dedicate a few moments in between to work on the late task. If someone else is involved, I’ll simply need to tell them beforehand that I need some extra time. Life is this simple.

It’s like being young and not being allowed to be a child. This time, though, the deadline was brought forward by times and life.

You’re suddenly flung into a new world where you understand dirty jokes because of what you’ve heard adults around you say and what you’ve seen them do. Even when you really don’t understand, the adults think you are pretending and mock you for it. You don’t want to understand them, anyway. You desperately want to be a child. But it’s already too late.

You unexpectedly find yourself in a world where, as a pre-teen, you are aware of your existence. A weirdo who does not matter and who can’t do anything about it. Your breasts are becoming perky, but you have no choice but to go out like that because your parents have not bought you a bra. So, you hunch your back and become aware of stares. Going on errands, talking to people… being seen becomes the bane of your existence.

You comprehend that you’re expected to be responsible and make decisions. Wow. 12 years later, you think about how you still feel the effects of what you said in your parlour to wicked gazing adults. “I just want to be a child who has peace”. It did not seem like much then. Peace came alright… at the cost of your eyes sweating for eternity. Funny how you still want to be a child who has peace even after 12 years.

As an adult teenager, you perceive that something is wrong. Other people are not like this. You begin to scramble to enjoy being a child. But it’s too late because you’ve reached the official age of adulthood; 18. The deadline for childhood has passed. You need to move on to be the adult you are. But your nature does not allow you. So, you grasp for what could have been and miss out entirely on what is and what will be.

My advice is that you do not dwell. Move on. However, while being an adult, take breaks and do all the childlike things you want to do. One of them is writing your deepest thoughts like this. I’m proud of you.

These are 500 words (or more ?… If you ever read this post, don’t talk to me about it)! Talk to you tomorrow!

I am now on my way to school for a class at 10 am. Even though my school is only 6 minutes away, I have to leave an hour earlier for several totally valid reasons. First, mornings are the “rush hour”, so there’ll definitely be traffic. Second, I need to get to class early so that I can find a seat, else I’ll stand for two whole hours. How inconvenient. The maruwa guy is driving like he is considering applying as a stunt double for Fast and Furious. I hold on to the life I already lost. Each turning we pass, I pray that we did not collide with another vehicle.  A trailer is heading towards us at full speed. My maruwa driver, a smart Nigerian, decides to battle his right to drive on the road right beside a trailer. Somehow, the trailer loses control and falls on us. For the third time in about 12 hours, I die again.

What kind of stress is this? I have other things to do, and death is just bothering me here and there. I’ll be more careful. Leave me alone, death. I pick up my crushed body, board another vehicle – a bus this time, to be safe – and head to school. Thankfully, no one notices that my left hand is twisted funny, my skull is shattered, and my intestines dangled from where my stomach burst open from the impact of the trailer. It would have been hard to explain, anyway.

I see the tweet. Chinelo, a dentist, was killed on a train. Her last words were a cry for help on the Internet.

She said, “I’m in the train . I have been shot please pray for me”.

My heart broke, and I died along with her.

A moving train was hijacked by bandits terrorists. I am horrified like a Nigerian. Being horrified for us means to be shocked by a situation, acknowledge that it is bad, sympathise with the victims… resign to the realities of Nigeria, and pray it does not happen again while knowing fully well that it will. I am severely fatigued and that’s why I am used to the Nigerian horrification that moves on, not too quickly, but fast enough to continue with my survival journey. Nigeria finds its way to happen to everyone.

I am tired… blank… frustrated. I hate that I am living to avoid death. Why is the death of a Nigerian due to avoidable circumstances acceptable? Why should I be killed by terrorists and keep quiet about it? What is normal about being killed by generator fumes or armed robbers looting a bank? Why should security forces kill me because I refused to show them my phone or give them ₦100? Is it normal for a trailer to fall on me while I try to cross an expressway with no pedestrian bridge? Let me know if it is the standard for me to drive into a manhole and die there while on a bike home in the rain? Perhaps I should not complain when I am kidnapped and my head is cut off and pounded for some sort of ritual.  Most importantly, I would like to ask why it is alright for me to be shot at point-blank range when I protest against injustice.

I am tired of resurrecting.

These are 500 tough words. I must talk to you tomorrow.

I was hurrying to get home before “they” took the light. The people in front of me were walking quite slowly. So from the sidewalk, I crossed the big open gutter to the road. After a few seconds, I had passed them and decided to cross back. With my heavy backpack, I fell into the gutter. The black water coated my leg like paint, colouring most of the blood that gushed out from my shin. People rushed to help me out. Someone even used water to clean my leg. I did not know how to feel, so I dived into the gutter head-first and died.

When I got home, there was still light. Whew. I quickly plugged in my phone, torchlight, laptop, and fan. I don’t have an extra charger for my power bank. I was pretty tired, so I laid down to get some rest. My leg and death do not matter. They’ll heal. If they don’t, at least there is light. As the clock struck 8 pm, they took what belonged to them; the prized light. I forgot to iron my clothes. That’s by the way.

Right now, I need to critically analyse how to ration my devices because I need to work on two assignments this night. My laptop is on 66%. My phone is…. on 6%? Shit, it wasn’t charging! Ummm… No need to panic… I’ll put on my hotspot, download the papers I need, put off my phone, and use my laptop till it dies. I need to work on my bed and under my net, though. My fan will last for only about an hour, and I don’t want mosquitoes to bite my peeled leg. I don’t think I can manoeuvre scratching that. As for my torchlight, I’ll need to use it now, else the laptop light will cause a big headache for me. A headache is the last thing I need this night. All was settled, so I worked, hunched over the glaring screen of my laptop till my torchlight died after 30 minutes. So, I put on my candle. Unfortunately, the fire engulfed my net and me too. This is inconvenient. How will I go to school tomorrow without my life?

The next morning, I used all my might to stand up from my bed. I removed the flimsy, expensive bedsheet soaked with sweat and sprinkled with ashes. I need to spread it outside so that it will dry by the time I come back home in the evening. Let me carry my three buckets and fetcher as I head out. I’m lucky because my house has a well in case there is no water in the tap. Other people have to walk a distance to get water.

As I get outside, I hear my neighbours were talking about the people who were shot, killed, and abducted on a Kaduna-Abuja train yesterday. This is new! Trains are also not safe? I thought the abductions and killings were limited to road transportation. Na wa o. What is this country turning into? I quickly fetch my water and head back inside to check what Twitter was saying about the issue. Right. The phone is dangerously low, and I put it off. The hurry to charge my devices set in again, so I quickly have my bath and head out.

These are 500 tough words. I must talk to you tomorrow.

Hello peepuuu,

I had a déjà vu moment while I was writing my exam today. It made me feel happy. I think of déjà vu as an assurance that what is currently happening is supposed to be.

You’re getting part two today! Enjoy ?

 . . . The POP

The POP commenced unceremoniously. Corps members who were not involved in the parade were loitering around, and when I saw the Quarter Guards doing their ‘thang’. I was so sure it was just a rehearsal that I even voiced it out. Someone heard this and told me they had started the parade. Wawu. At that time, we were still doing our man o’ war martial arts (don’t ask) rehearsal. Anyway, the parade had been going on for quite a while, and it was almost our time to present. We filed to our selected point of entry and waited to be called in.

I felt thrilled to be a part of this presentation, and even more so because it went better than expected… way better than expected. As at that morning, I was so sure we were going to flop because we had not mastered the most important part of the presentation. I thought of opting out a billion times. Anyway, when I heard the ‘female punchers out’ command, everything became almost mechanical for me. I guess I was nervous, but fought the nervousness so hard that I shut everything out. I still felt so ‘focused on’, and that awareness made my adrenaline pump and I broke my plank successfully. I also had another part to play in our presentation; a fight. The hilarity! After the ‘fight’, the way I made my way back to my initial position would haunt me forever, and I hope that moment is wiped out of the memories of anyone who saw it.

I felt a bit self-conscious after the man o’ war martial arts (don’t ask) presentation, so, I was a bit confused about where to go and even hesitant to go ‘where people were’. I could be a bit (a lot) shy at the oddest moments. People were everywhere, so that didn’t work out well. I followed two friends of mine who were also part of the presentation to where Platoon 1 members were gathered and chatted for a while. The parade ended while we were chatting, and I missed a very important moment (I am too heartbroken to share).

The parade ended a little bit more ceremoniously than when it began. The next step was to collect our posting letters. My ‘hurry’ increased and I just really really wanted to be done with everything. The situation didn’t help, however. We were told that as OBS members, we would be given out posting letters separately. Before we got our letters, we had to clear out the parade ground of any OBS equipment. Up the hill again, I went, carrying the lightest thingy I could find. At the studio, we were given our posting letters after a while that seemed long to me.

Quick Talk: My decision to stay in Benue State was very impulsive. I didn’t think about it. I just decided, and I was certain I made the right decision. My list of very very good reasons (trust me) came later. So, I stopped planning to resume my Lagos life, and I started thinking of my life in Benue. People probably thought I was crazy. I did too, DSC_0178but I simply couldn’t change my mind, even though I was really close to doing so MANY times. I consciously rebuked myself from having any sort of expectations about where I would be posted to because I didn’t want to be disappointed, and I really wanted the ‘unexpectedness’. So, for about three weeks, I made a conscious effort to keep an open mind. I didn’t want to lobby for a favourable posting because it would have short-changed me of the surprise I really really wanted to have. A clean opportunity came at a point for me to work in a radio station. I was thrilled at that time but didn’t want to show it. I didn’t follow up. Why? I guess I know now.

…Moving on…

I became a bit apprehensive when the posting letters were being shared out. The norm is for OBS members to be posted to radio stations, or other ‘good slots’. I received mine and saw that I was posted to Royal Academy Secondary School in Obi LGA. Say wah?? I became fully apprehensive. What did I expect? Well, nothing, but not this. I suddenly wished I had followed up on that radio station opportunity at that time. I probably hyperventilated a little. I was so confused, that I started asking people where they were posted. Some had primary schools, others, secondary schools. Only one person (that I know of) was posted to Radio Benue, Makurdi. We were all really shocked.

Before I was given my letter, I saw a lady who had a cardboard with the name of a school on it… “something Academy”. “Academy” is the key word here. She asked me if I knew anyone who was posted there, and I said I didn’t. LOL. I had heard that some corps members were lucky to be picked up by someone from their PPA, so, I was kinda happy that I was one of the lucky few. I went outside the studio to meet her, but she wasn’t there any more.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

An idea for a conversation with you dropped in my head today, and I did not write it down immediately. Now, I can no longer remember what it was! I’m extra pained because it was soooo good. I was really excited when the idea came. Hopefully, I’ll remember at some random period. I’ll be sure to let you know if I ever do.

Today, let me share my NYSC experience with you! This will be like a three- or four-part article. So, enjoy the read, sis.

Bruh, let me tell you that I wrote this article on August 25, 2018. So, situations have completely changed. I charge you to suspend your belief that the time you are reading this is any other day except August 25, 2018, or perhaps August 29 (I’ll say you’re late, though, but I’m not complaining since it’s just one day ?). Like all my blast-from-the-past articles, I will highlight this one appropriately.

Hi,

I should warn you that this might be one of those stories you’d read and wonder why you have just wasted 5 minutes and 6 seconds of your life. Well, here we go. This is a story of my Passing out Parade. And because there is way too much background information to this lil story, I would just give you a list.

  1. I am a girl from Nigeria
  2. I live in Lagos
  3. I am in love with nature
  4. Contrastively, bushes and creepy crawlies are not my thing
  5. I recently completed my National Youth Service Corps orientation programme with the 2018 Batch B, Stream 1 set
  6. I was posted to Benue State
  7. I hated Benue State (shallow)
  8. I am now in love with Benue State
  9. I will stay in Benue stay for the next 11 months, and I have a plan (I think)
  10. Most importantly, a Passing out Parade (POP) is the last ceremony done throughout all NYSC camps. It happens on the last day of camp and there’s usually a parade presented by corps members to the dignitaries present.

. . . Prelude

The night before the Passing out Parade was clearly unlike any other. There was a mixture of different emotions in the air. For me, I felt almost indifferent, although I did not show it. Sometimes, I could just be a bit detached from emotions, and they come flooding back at the most unexpected time. I had packed most of my things in the morning, so I didn’t have much to do. Many platoons were having their final parties that night, but I guess mine had its the night before. I didn’t attend. After a few activities, I went to get my dinner of yam pottage and ate it in the OBS studio, where I also charged my phone and power bank. I chatted for a while and headed to my room.

The room was quite lively at past 9 when I got there. Most of the girls were gisting and packing their bags. I gave a loud greeting and headed for my bed which was at the right extreme of the room. Lucky for me, my ‘bunky’ had helped me fetch some water into my bucket (bless her), so, I didn’t have to. I washed my plate and did a final check of everything I had packed. I remember being extra careful with everything I didn’t lock away because a lady came into the room to announce that there would be a round of ‘serial theft’ that night, being the last night on camp… you know, a lil send off for corps members. Some of my room mates echoed the same, so the fear of being ‘relieved’ of what I had no hope of recovering shook me. I literally slept on my waist pouch and jungle boots. I hung my full NYSC uniform ‘inside inside’ my bed at the bottom of the top bunk, right next to my head by the wall (go figure).

. . . Same ol’ morning,,, or nah

I don’t recall if I had set an alarm, but what woke me was definitely not an alarm. The room was buzzing with different activities, almost the same way it was before I slept. Did some people stay awake throughout the night? We would never know. Anyway, I checked my things to make sure they were still intact. They were, thank God. I probably covered them with the blood of Jesus when I went to have my bath.

When I got back from the bathroom, almost everyone was dressed. Some had gone to submit their mattresses, and some had gone to drop their bags with the fellowships available to keep them safe till after the POP. The time was about 4:00AM. At about 4:30AM or 5:00 AM, I finally got fully dressed. The room was scanty at this time, of course. Esther- a cool friend I made at camp- and I, lugged our bags and mattresses (I also had my bucket) and made our way to the NCCF (National Christian Corpers’ Fellowship) spot to drop our bags. We planned to go drop off our mattresses after that. The queue was quite long, and I was discouraged. I had the option of going to drop my bag at the OBS studio, but that required climbing a hill (don’t get me started on this fun/torture). I finally gave in after spending a whopping 5 minutes in the queue. Lucky for me, I met a fellow OBS member on the way, and she helped me carry some of my things (bless her).

To my surprise, the OBS was filled with people and bags when I got there. I don’t know why I didn’t expect that. I said my greeting, dropped my bags and bucket and went back down the hill to submit my mattress. I was given a ‘mattress ticket’, so (get this) I put it in my phone pouch to secure it for when it would be required later (they played us, mehn. They effing played us *bored face). After this, I went back to the studio and chatted till about 6 AM. I still felt indifferent, but, that morning, I was consumed by a slight hurry. I just wanted to get everything over with. I had breakfast at the camp market (fondly and wrongly called ‘mammy market’) with a new friend I made. At 7 AM, I went down the hill for the final rehearsal of our man o’war martial arts (don’t ask) training, of which the presentation was only a few hours away.

This day was definitely memorable for me. I ended up serving at Ibadan, Oyo state because I fell critically ill a few days after I got back to Lagos from Benue. Ibadan was closer to home and would afford me easier access to healthcare (which I did not even need throughout my 1 year+ stay). Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed Ibadan and would not have traded my experience there for the world. I met so many wonderful people, to say the least! However, I do wonder, from time to time, what Benue would have made out of me.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

I woke up this morning with one thought in my head: it’s my dad’s 60th birthday! One reason for this is that I already felt bad for not going home to celebrate with him. So, I planned to call early in the morning of May 4 to wish him a happy birthday.

So, that’s what I did. I called my sister’s phone rather than my dad’s (it had become a habit ever since she came back home). When she picked up, I, while doing a wiggly dance, said,

“Give the phone to my daaaaaadddd.”

So, she did.

Immediately he collected it, I started singing the Korean version of “happy birthday” that I had heard from k-dramas. As I butchered “happy birthday” in Korean, my sister said,

“His birthday is on the 8th.”

My dad followed this up with,

“That’s on Sunday.”

Bruh, I burst out laughing like crazy. The thing is that every single year, I get confused about whether his birthday is on the 4th or the 8th. This year, however, there was no such thought. I was 100% certain that it was on the 4th. Sigh.

I am pretty bad at remembering people’s birthdays, including mine. This is why I developed a habit of saving my friends’ birthdays on my Google calendar. I guess I’ll have to add my dad’s too.

I was happy to hear him laugh, though. It also seems like I’ll need to go home on Sunday because I sort of promised that ?

To assure you and me, forgetting people’s birthdays does not mean you do not care about them. The effort you put into not making the same mistake next time is what truly counts.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I may be the most unqualified person to talk about parenting. For one, I am not a parent. Second, my last memory of being parented was probably when I was 12 or 13. We may talk about this soon.

Anyway, now that I want to talk about parenting, I’ll come from the perspective of what I’ve learnt from my parents and who I want to be as a parent (of about 9 children ?)

Two great lessons I learnt from my dad are contentment and being economical.

For the first, I probably just observed him and assimilated to that mentality. It’s paid off because I am totally satisfied with what I have. I don’t have “ojukokoro” ? (covetousness)… most of the time. I am neither attracted nor do I compare myself to people who are economically above me (i.e., solely attracted to them because of money). This does not stop me from being ambitious. My ambition is primarily driven by my own desire to achieve success, not by what I see outside.

The second lesson is one on being economical. This I learnt after he told me how to manage. We did not have so much growing up, so it is clear why this skill was needed. I particularly remember stories about how he used to fend for himself in school. He saw himself through school, and, as I understand now, that means being very wise with one’s expenses. For instance, you really can’t just spend all your money on an expensive meal JUST because you deserve it. Granted, you do. But, you also deserve to be fed well for the rest of the week. The point is to spend your money wisely. Also take note of your top priorities and attend to them first before other things (that can wait if you really think about it).

I just remembered a third lesson for my dad, and it’s to always have skills that can bring you money. In particular, have computer related skills. This was not directly from him, I just observed and assimilated. He was (is) a data scientist and taught us (my siblings and I) how to use the computer.

From my mom, I’ve learnt to greet people. This is a skill needed in a place like Nigeria that is originally communal. Everyone wants to be acknowledged by you, even if they don’t explicitly say it. So, say hi or “good afternoon, sir/ma” to someone the next time you’re walking on the road. I have to confess that I don’t do this as often, though. Some people are conceited and would deliberately ignore your countless greetings just because they want to. Anytime I sense such an attitude, I immediately stop greeting to maintain some dignity for myself.

The second lesson I’ve learnt from her is to leave when things are just too tough. It’s simply self-preservation.

Now, who do I want to be as a parent? I have a list of activities I want to do with my family. I’m planning ahead, people! So, I’ll recant, from my head, the kind of parent I want to be and add it to my list called “My home”. To be clear (although I am not sure why I am compelling myself to do this), building a family is only one of my many goals in life. LOL, why do I feel like I have to “prove” something? Anyway, let’s move on…

  1. I want to be kind to my children. I want them to learn kindness from me. The world desperately needs kind people. I also think every human deserves to know how it feels like to be kind-hearted.
  2. I hope to train my children to be innovative problem solvers, freethinkers, and people who respect others regardless of a difference in choices/orientations.
  3. As a parent, I want to be unbiased in my judgement, especially as it concerns siblings. One sibling shouldn’t have to feel envious or compare themselves to others.
  4. I want to show my children so much love, they never have to wonder what love it. They just know. They love themselves and they love others.
  5. I discovered, from observation, that children who grow up in loving homes often have so much confidence. Guess whose children will have complete confidence? Mine.
  6. I hope to be able to teach my children about taking responsibility.
  7.   Also, I want to be a parent who instils money making and sustaining skills into her children. This includes earning money, saving, investing, and building profitable ventures. For me to be able to teach them, I have to have practised them myself. Thus, this is a charge to Lami to continue to work hard and smart. You’ll get there.
  8. No entitlement mentality for my babies. Period.
  9. My pikin also gotta learn to be respectful while being firm.
  10. As a Christian, I hope to practice Christian values and have my children learn by examples that I set.

There may be a few more things to say, but I’ll stop here. In my opinion, parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world. You are literally raising the next generation of humans who will raise the next, who will raise the next, and so on. The ideologies you pass on to them could be sustained for centuries. They could build up or destroy nations. So, as a parent, I believe that it is my responsibility to ensure that the world has a new group of people who are all about positive impacts. Charity begins at home.

Let me know what you think and if you have some advice.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Today, I got a rejection email. I was totally fine when I saw it a few hours ago, as I already expected it. Now, I really don’t know how I feel. Definitely not sad nor happy. I think I’ll figure things out tomorrow.

I don’t feel like writing today, so let’s talk about why I like to wear a mask.

  1. I can daydream, and laugh, and talk to myself. If this is not at the top of your list, I don’t think we can be friends. Everyone needs a mask to have some one-person private discussion while walking on the road. Don’t get used to this, though. You don’t want this to become an addictive habit… that you unconsciously do even without your mask. Careful, friend ?
  2. Dust and smoke protection. It’s super necessary to protect your lungs from the dust of the earth. If you stay in places like my country where you would even encounter dust on express ways, then a mask is a must. Those buses that cough up gray smokes are also my nemeses.
  3. I don’t have to respond. Some people really do be striking up a conversation with me at random. Many times, I am forced to respond for “politeness’s sake”. However, if I am especially lucky, my mask and glasses are enough to keep them a bay.
  4. No one can see me. Do you also feel invisible when you wear a mask? The invisibility appears to be more potent when the mask is black. I don’t care if this is simply my imagination, I believe it ?
  5. I feel like a badass. I love the James Bond/Ninja feeling I get from wearing a mask. So, imma keep on wearing one.
  6. Um… COVID-19 precaution? Almost forgot this ?. Stay safe out there. COVID is still making its rounds across the world. For the sake of other airborne diseases also, you should probably still religiously wear your mask.

BTW, wash that reusable mask or throw the non-reusable one out already! Sheesh

These are 500 words (or less ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Sup,

I am inspired by many things and many people. Nigerian women sit unwaveringly at the very top level of my hierarchy of inspirations. Pardon my bias, but I will specifically note innovative, strong-willed, and successful Nigerian women – one, two, or all three.

In fact, I wish I was an innovative and strongwilled Nigerian woman… oh, wait, I am ?… E remain the “successful” part (pidgin). I am steadily becoming that.

The first Nigerian woman I officially took on as a mentor is Dr Ola Brown. I heard her speak at the Flourish Africa conference in 2018 and was wowed. What stood out most was how she is inspired by Aliko Dangote. While in school (I think), she had a picture of him posted on her wall. From all she knew about him as well as from looking at his picture, she was driven. Her resilience, hard work, and focus has made her one of the most successful entrepreneurs in Nigeria today. She is the founder of Flying Doctors.

After that conference, I applied most of what I understood from her. I developed two habits. The first is sticking important information on my walls. This includes encouraging notes to myself, reminders, and plans. The second habit is taking on “mentors from afar”. That was (and probably is) what Aliko Dangote was to Dr Ola Brown.

Dr. Brown is one of Lami’s mentor’s from afar.

One great thing happened one day while I was on Twitter; I found Dr Brown’s profile! Omo, I followed immediately to gain knowledge. It’s been about 4 years now, and I am still very inspired by her and her tweets.

I like Dr Brown for a number of reasons. At Flourish Africa, she was so confident and well-spoken! If my eyes could actually turn heart-shaped and potrude out of my sockets like it happens in cartoons, this is probably what people would have seen as I listened to Dr Brown. If I ever meet her in person or have the opportunity to interact with her in anyway, I hope I don’t sputter while introducing myself ?

After my first encounter with Dr Ola Brown, I began to understand the way I felt about innovative, strong-willed, and successful Nigerian women. My deep respect and love was not new, I promise you. In fact, I had always been impressed and inspired by females in general. My favourite cartoons while growing up were PowerPuffGirls, Atomic Betty, and Juniper Lee. I also could not get enough of Hannah Montana, iCarly, and Victorious. Yes, it was because the main characters were females. It made me feel like I could do something amazing too. I could also list some women that I absolutely adored in my child and teenage years. One honourable mention is Aunty Ore, one of my primary school teachers. All of these goes to show the importance of representation.

Currently, these are the Nigerian women that inspire me:

  1. Temie Giwa-Tubosun. She is the founder of LifeBank
  2. Apostle Folorunsho Alakija. She is the founder of Flourish Africa. Nuff said.
  3. Dr Ibukun Awosika. I was at Lagos State University’s 25th Convocation Ceremony when she was awarded an honorary Ph.D. I couldn’t stop smiling.
  4. Oluwatosin Olaseinde. She is the founder of The Money Africa.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hiiiiiii,

I have so much joy!

Can you believe it’s already 5 days past our golden jubilee? Time flies by sooo fast.

I don’t have a particular taste in music.

What does it for me is the chord progression and rhythm. Some songs hook me just because of that. A good example is “C.I.T.T (Cheese in The Trap)” by Moon Byul. I have listened to this song no less than 10 times today (probably an understatement). Nigerian artists like Olamide and Wande Coal are also pretty great with chord progression. I wouldn’t say I’m particularly impressed with some of their lyrics, but that’s my opinion. It doesn’t take away from the value of their songs. For k-pop, Mamamoo, TXT, and Enhypen are my current favs.

Sometimes, it could be the first line of a song. A good example is a song I’m currently listening to: “I want to break free” by Queen. It’s been on loop for a few minutes now.

Other times, I just love the lyrics. Asa always gets me with her amazing lyrics. Alessia Cara was also the G.O.A.T of lyrics for me at some point. I would say Disney songs are pretty great with lyrics too. “Honour to Us All” from Mulan is pretty sick for me. Same for “I Choose You” by Alessia Cara for Disney.

What else? Perhaps a song that frequently finds its way into my ears? Like every single TikTok song ever. I don’t even know how I end up knowing those songs.

Anyway, the point is that I clearly don’t have a music preference. All these artists have totally different kinds of music. Something just works for me somehow. I think that allows me to have a very robust musical experience. I love it.

Happy New Month, btw. How do you feel? It’s the 5th month of 2022. I remember someone talking about how a “new year” doesn’t equate to you entering into a “new realm” or something. It’s pretty funny but totally understandable. We attach new years, months, weeks, and even days with new beginnings. There’s nothing wrong with that.

But, thinking about it, don’t you agree that it may make us have some high expectations that may be bashed if the “newness” we conceptualised just doesn’t happen? 11:59 pm on December 31 isn’t different from 12:00 am on January 1. At the end of the day, we may be forced (and shocked) to realise that yesterday and today are pretty much the same.

I’m talking to people whose lives follow a pattern. You wake up. Do some morning activities. Eat breakfast, Go to work or for a class. Come back home. Eat and do some evening activities. Sleep. The next day, you do pretty much the same thing.

Detour: do you know the nasty thought that just crossed my mind as I was typing the above? "No one wants to hear your opinion. It does not even make sense". Well, I'm proudly and publicly telling that voice that I have every right to share my opinion. It will resonate with people who it will resonate with. For some others, it just wouldn't and that is absolutely fine. Moving on...

Realistically, your expectation for newness will remain void because you do the same things. Thus, you’re met with disappointments daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly.

There are two things you can do, but no matter what, you must be happy.

First, you could acknowledge that your life revolves around a pattern that won’t be changing anytime soon. Accept it. Love it. Find some beauty in it. Your expectation for a new day, week, month, or year then becomes that you’re enthusiastic to relive the system you’ve created for yourself. Let’s see… Is it the noodles you eat every Saturday that is just perfect? Look forward to the weekend just for that. The electrifying vigil in church and the countdown to a new year that you’ve been a part of for over 15 years? Look forward to that. You journalling for exactly 22 minutes every morning? Look forward to that. Trekking to work every morning? Look forward to that. Taking a bus to school three times a week because you live off-campus? Anticipate that. Those thing you do repeatedly, find joy in them so you won’t feel trapped in a life where everything seems recycled. Who knows? You could also discover new thing to enjoy within those patterns.

The second thing you could do is to make the newness happen. Deviate from your everyday norms. If your weekends are synonymous with staying at home, call up some friends and go out on Saturday and Sunday. Do that for three weeks in a row. In anticipation of a new month, create a list of interesting activities you want to engage in. Be spontaneous. Remember to make sure that you’re enjoying all of this. Our goal is to be happy, right?

Now, the questions you should ask yourself are, “what do I want?” and “what do I genuinely enjoy?”

It is fine to enjoy the pattern if you are content with sticking with it.

It is fine to enjoy the newnes if it your desire to create on.

As long as you are happy. So, rather than look outward and try to adapt the expectations of new beginnings when new times approach, stay enveloped in your love for everything predictable and repeated. In contrast, you could also uphold your anticipation for unending fresh experiences.

Happy New Month. Be unabashedly who you want to be.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

I’ve been mulling over this idea for a while. You know those kinds of ideas that are absolutely desirable, yet seem so far out of reach? You wish you could do it, but are secretly certain that it would never evolve past being a wish. That’s what me thinking about writing a book used to feel like.

Now… Today, it feels attainable.

I will write stories for people to read.

Who knows, I may become a bestseller someday… win prizes and all.

I’ll start with short stories. Allow me to let you in on what I think my writing process might be.

First, I have to express how the concept of imagination makes me feel. It’s just… breathtaking. You go into your mind, erect a majestic building, birth an entire family, and give voice to a stone. With imagination, you can do the impossible. Isn’t that beautiful?

In no particular order, here’s what my story-creating process will look like:

I could start my stories by creating a narrative. Let’s see… Aaa and Bbb love each other, get married, but beat the shit out of each other. Bbb opts for a divorce after they almost killed Aaa. Too basic?

Then, I’ll need to create my characters. I’ll give them physical features. Perhaps Ola will have only one ear, but it would be located on her elbow. Gifty could have every human feature… but also a tail because, why not?

I also need to give my characters some character. Should Femi be a loud-ass bitch who just won’t shut up? Gina, regardless, accommodates him because she’s really patient.

Some quirks would be cool too. For instance, Martha never takes off her glasses, come sleep or bath time. Also, why does Joy have a forever resting bitch face that only lights up when there’s food?

Next will be to define their relationship. Not for Carl, though, because she’s a loner. However, I’ll need to clarify the weird family tree of Bola and James. I may need to invent new words because “cousin”, “aunt”, “uncle”, “niece” and “nephew” just don’t cover it. Sheesh.

Now, a storyline is needed. I’ll create a plot progression. A pulse, perhaps? A high point followed by a low point, and continuously in that pattern. Or should there be a peak? They call it a climax.

Of course, there can’t be a story without some actual content. So, that has to be done. To confess, that’s the most dreaded part for me. I kinda look forward to it? I’m secretly scared in advance, though.

For my short stories, I will not stick to a particular genre. So, you’ll get romcom, historicals, thrillers, law, and maybe horrors from me. Some sci-fi will be cool too.

Yooooo! I just remembered that I’m pretty interested in youth life. We don’t get a lot of that in Nigerian movies. I think our novels are better, though.

I’m currently on 400+ words. This paragraph is to make this article up to 500 words ?… Byyyeee!

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

 

#53 – Bliss

Last night, my neighbours put off their gen and my ear felt like someone poured a generous portion of anointing oil in it. It felt blessed. The bliss that immediately registered in my head can’t be expressed by mere words. So, I’ll express it with a mere meme.

If you’re Nigerian, you know about NEPA. If you’re not Nigerian, do some background reading here. Let’s talk when you’re done. I want you to let me know if I am to blame anytime I swear/shepe for those hoes. Or should I call them representative hoes? The government is the real hoe with many reps in different sectors that fuck the entire nation. Am I using too many bad words? Forgive me.

I think I deserve to be pissed in this unique way just for today.

Today, I want to talk to you about poop ?. Well, I want to talk about why pepper causes diarrhoea (British spelling) for some people. If you’re one who can’t stomach pepper for more than a few minutes, you might be interested in reading it.

3:20 pm. I feel… split?… today. I don’t exactly know how to describe it. It’s left me a bit distracted, too. Perhaps I’m hungry and should eat some food.

Today, I want to edit my #500-Words-A-Day page layout. With 52 articles, it takes a slightly loooonnnggg time to get to the bottom of the page. So, I will now have only 10 articles per page. The page will also load faster.

I also want to add a couple of accessibility tweaks to my website in general. I want people to be able to adjust the size, weight, and kind of font on all my posts. This way, they won’t need to strain their eyes while reading. I’ll also add a dark mode to my entire website, so people can switch between whatever mode they prefer. I also think the contrast on the page could be a bit more pronounced. Perhaps the option to adjust the font would take care of that.

That’s all for now. I’ll come back here and share my process and result, with a before and after

9:20 pm. I’m back, and have a secret to tell you:

I’ve been on my laptop since 3:20 pm trying to figure out how to do all my adjustments. I worked on splitting my page but decided to stop (for now) and move on to the next items. Currently, I have been able to set up the font adjustment and dark mode. Both still need some tweaking. Do you know how I feel about this? Quite pained and ashamed. Sometimes, I tend to get fixated on a task that I don’t notice the amount of time I have been on it. I feel like the six hours I spent have been wasted. I even wanted to change my topic, so I would not have to report what I consider to be a failure. But, that would be hypocritical of me. Remember that we are all about trying, failing, being true to ourselves, and trying again.

So, I’ve decided to do two things. First, I will narrate what I spent six hours doing. Thanks for listening to me. Second, I will look on the bright side and acknowledge what I’ve learnt.

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When I got started, I felt pretty jolly. To clearly remember my work process, I noted each “landmark”, so I’ll base my narration on that.

My first goal was to redesign my #500-Words-A-Day page. This is how it looked like (and still does at the moment of writing this): My “full screen” screenshot extension on Chrome had to divide the page into three images. That’s how long it is.

This clearly shows why the page should be split. On my Theme Builder (I use Elementor Pro), I had initially set to it 365 post. This was when I first started and did not really envision how huge this was going to be Anyway, for the split, I decided on 20 posts per page. With Elementor, this is quite easy, all I had to do was change “365” to 20 and add a pagination section that would appear below the last post on the page.

Elementor Theme Builder

My coconut head wanted something different, though. I wanted the page navigation to be at the top. This would have been easy if I effing knew how to code. I don’t. All the codes I have ever used on this website and all the others I have built are from some nice Internet people. Bless them. So, I banked on them once more. I engaged the internet to save me. But first, I had to duplicate this page, so I would not have to explain some story for the gods to myself if I messed something up. I worked on the copy…ies.

I did some research online, but couldn’t find what I was looking for. So, I decided to brainstorm with me, myself, and I. From this session, I decided that I could try to use the “post navigation” feature. I even used some HTML and CSS code I found online. Nada.

At this point, I was getting edgy. So, I took a break and went on WhatsApp. I deliberately reminded myself that there was no rush. Picking up my phone may or may not have been a good decision.

Back from WhatsApp, I decided to see if YouTube videos could be of help. Avoiding YouTube has been part of my dopamine detox. No wonder because as soon as I hit YouTube, I settled down to watch the following music videos:

  1. PSY – ‘That That (prod. & feat. SUGA of BTS)’ MV Teaser 3
  2. 제시 – I LUV IT [불후의 명곡2 전설을 노래하다/Immortal Songs 2] | KBS 210522 방송
  3. PSY – GANGNAM STYLE(강남스타일) M/V
  4. PSY – GENTLEMAN M/V
  5. LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett, GoonRock – Party Rock Anthem (Official Video)
  6. Jessi (제시) – ‘ZOOM’ MV
  7. Bruno Mars – The Lazy Song (Official Music Video)
  8. [MV] 문별 (Moon Byul) – C.I.T.T (Cheese in the Trap) – My thought after about 1 minute into this was “Wait! Moon Byul is singing! ?… I had mostly heard her rapping”
  9. ENHYPEN “Polaroid Love” (Live Performance) | Open Mic
  10. [MIX & MAX] ENHYPEN JUNGWON & NI-KI (정원&니키) ‘Bleeding Darkness’ (4K) – Here, I was a bit scared, tbh.

I sang along, was merry, and momentarily ignored the mountain of tasks in front of me. Olamide Williams ?

Anyway, back to work. I eventually saw a number of actually helpful YT vids, but none had the exact thing I needed. I had a clear picture of what I wanted in my mind: a page with a content filter at the top of my posts (like how you can filter products based on categories on an e-commerce store). At this point, I considered adopting the style I used for my blog but decided against it. It would take wayyyy too many pages to create that. Besides, I’d been interested in learning how to create content filters on a page. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Again, I engaged me, myself, and in a brainstorming session. I got the idea to group my posts in 10s into different categories (posts #1 to #9 went into “1 – 9” category). Then, I created a new menu with those categories as menu items

Category menu

The idea was to create a custom page and add the new menu to the top of the page. The menu items would create a filter effect on the page… Or would it? ?. I kinda zoned out a few times because of thinking overload.

I was wasting wayy too much time on just one task out of three. It was probably past six at this time. So, I deleted all the copies of pages and sections that I created and moved to the next task. My decision now is to either adopt the style on my blog or dedicate about 2 hours tomorrow to do some more research on this content filter thing. I have some preplanned activities for tomorrow, so won’t make a final decision now. This is pretty much all there is to know about the first task.

Moving forward, the Internet recommended some plugins that would allow visitors to change the font size on my website. I tried about 5 and finally decided to go with One Click Accessibility because of the customisation feature and high contrast mode. However, I want to remove it from my front page because it distorts the texts there. I’ll figure that out tomorrow

So, what lesson did I learn?

  • I learnt more about the “bulk select” feature on WordPress. To add multiple posts to one category, you can select all of them at once, select “edit” from the dropdown at the top and click “apply”. You’ll get the option to bulk apply an array of features to multiple posts at once. Pretty cool.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

On Tuesday/Yesterday, I had some pretty vivid dream(s). Most of the characters were from a drama series I am currently watching (I last saw an episode about two weeks ago, and will see another over the weekend).

The drama is about a girl whose parents got murdered by her friend’s dad, who happens to be a serial killer. The girl (Nak Won) and her friend (Na Moo) were both in high school at that time. They liked each other. They were also both present in the house when Na Moo’s father killed Nak Won’s parents. In fact, he tried to stop his dad and was the one who later told the police who the murderer was after his dad tried to escape. The dad was arrested.

Some additional info: Na Moo is completely different from his dad (kind, when his father isn’t). He also has an older brother (Hyun Moo) who is like their father. He bullies his friends, has a gun, feels unloved… all the bad kid stuff. Also, he loves his dad… looks up to him, even. Nak Won has an older brother (Moo Won) who attends Hyun Moo’s school. This dude is an epitome of goodness (I really don’t like him. Something feels off about him) One day, he sees Hyun Moo beating up a kid, and calls the police.

The plot kicks off when Mr Serial Killer and his son are arrested, for different reasons. At this point, you should know that Hyun Moo HATES Nak Won. He blames her for influencing his bro (who he doesn’t like either) to rat their dad out… and also because her dratted bro “put him in prison”. Boohoo.

Anyway, the plot really kicks off nine years later. Hyun Moo has been released from prison for his high school crime, but went back in for another offence (ein get coconut head). Lucky for him, he’s in the same prison as his dear papa who got life.

The plot reeeeeaaaalllllyyyy kicks off when Hyun Moo gets released from prison. He’s got this big revenge plan in his mind to kill Nak Won. Did I mention that Mr Serial Killer likes Na Moo more than Hyun Moo? Well, that makes Hyun Moo fester in unreserved envy. So, he definitely wants to take away things (and person) his brother cherishes.

Yes, Na Moo and Nak Won still like each other.

BTW, Na Moo is now a police officer. Nak Won is now a famous actress

In the last episode I saw, someone invited Nak Won to a movie set… at night. Hold on and listen. So, she was on set in the afternoon, but because of some accident, relating to the scandal of her parent’s death, they had to stop shooting. She also KNEW that Hyun Moo was out to get her. So why, oh why, did she think that a message from an unknown number inviting her to a deserted set at night was legit? Sigh, sigh, sigh. So effing ridiculous.

Anyway, she got to the site, and a guy with an axe (her parents were killed with an axe) comes into the room (designed to look like her home when her parents were killed… complete with their pictures on the wall and all). At the same time, we see Na Moo rushing to the set because he saw her location on the tracker in the watch he gave to her. Don’t ask, just watch the series yourself.

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Here’s where my dream starts.

As dreams are super weird, the entire setting has changed. Someone (female) is pursuing Nak Won. Suddenly, they burst into a hospital room with two white beds. The walls are also painted white. The purser is holding a long-ass sword. Something happens, and they are on one of the beds. Nak Won is getting stabbed repeatedly. In. Her. Guts. Blood is gushing out!

And I’m just… standing by the wall? ??????

Bruh! I’m laughing so hard as I type this. What was I doing there????????????????????

I think I was just looking on with interest, and some mild, very mild horror.

A guy in a white coat suddenly comes in and stabs a needle in the pursuer’s neck. She was sedated by it. Nak Won has moved to the other bed by some miracle, and this doctor is trying to save her by putting some pressure on her wound.

I suddenly see myself in another similar hospital room. Mr Serial killer is on a bed (isn’t he in prison??? ?). Na Moo is also inside the room. The doctor comes in, and I recognise him to be Hyun Moo. Apparently, he, with the knowledge of this father, was supposed to go kill Nak Won. Instead, he saves her. It seems like he and Na Moo had some forgiveness sessions. In my dream, I perceived that they seemed cool with each other.

Mr Serial Killer realises what his son had done and violently makes for the door to get the job done himself. Na Moo and Hyun Moo try to physically hinder him from doing so.

THEN, the fight begins. Sis! It felt so real! I could feel the floor shaking, fist pounding on flesh… I seemed to know that the dad was winning against both his sons.

Then, I woke up to a loud noise at exactly 12:00 am on April 26, 2022. I know this because my room was flooded with light, so I picked up my phone to charge it immediately. The loud noise was by the security guys. They hit some iron rods together at exactly 12:00 am every day. I have no idea why. My curtains were also flying everywhere like a prelude to heavy rain. I don't think it rained, though.
As I stood up to charge, the light was promptly seized. Unfazed, I turned the light switch to "off" and went back to my sweet bed. All of this probably happened within three minutes. As I laid my head down to sleep, I remember my dream and sleepily wished it continued. To "facilitate" this, I began imagining what could have happened. My next narration could either be my imagination or the actual continuation of the dream.

As they are having a fistfight, I look to my right, and there is a door. I open it and burst into the toilet of my childhood home. At this point, I’m so scared and just wanted to hide. I seemed to think that they would kill me (the dad, especially) if they saw me.

I sat on the toilet and was shaking so much. I looked at my hand, and it was literally shaking like a leaf. So, I prayed for their fight to end soon. Suddenly, a young girl, like 10 or 12 years old, comes in. I’m not sure if she was afraid too. I think so? Anyway, she hugs me, and it was the most comforting thing ever. I can still “feel” the hug any time I think about it. Even now. Her back felt very straight, and I remember that the palms of her hands were spread flat on my back. Then, I began to cry.

Finally, they stopped fighting, and I somehow knew that the sons won, and the father was dead.

The weird thing, as I think about the toilet scene now, is that we did not say anything. She just came in, we looked at each other and went for a hug. One crazy thing that just clicked in my mind right now is that the title of the drama is “Come and hug me”. Perhaps, my mind was trying to make sense of the title?

If you know me, you’ll know I’m not a fan of any form of scary entertainment. This is an exception because it’s a love story. It’s not even scary, as they don’t actually show the killings done by Mr Serial Killer. I’ll gladly see the rest of the episodes because it just got quite interesting.

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I woke up to the sound of my alarm at 5:20 am, then again at 7:00 am after a series of snoozes. My finally “wake” was met with a piercing headache, though. I did my morning routine and wondered about the dream in between.

What was that dream all about?

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hi there,

This is the 50th article in this series! Pretty interesting to see how fast the days have gone by.

I’m struggling to grasp the concept of transitivity in Halliday’s Systemic Functional Grammar (SFG). The thing is that I know all that it comprises; processes, participants, and circumstances. I understand it in theory, yet can’t explain it. I can’t even figure out the point of transitivity in an analysis. What is more, this lack of understanding applies to all the other systems and the metafunctions under which they operate.

This will be totally fine if I did not have an exam on SFG tomorrow. I’m also pretty sure that there will be a question on transitivity. Let’s just say that a miracle needs to happen in my brain today.

The time is 12:11 pm. I want to raid the Internet to find a resource that will help me. Can I come back here to tell you all about it? Yes? OMG, thanks for being kind enough to want to listen… ?

BRB.

It’s 5:43  pm on Wednesday ????. I did not come back yesterday because I was doing some intense reading.

On the plus side, some miracle did happen in my brain! I am very pleased with my exam today. I’ll give some feedback about my grade. 

Systemic Functional Grammar needs to be discussed by me, though! So, I’m committing to writing a comprehensive series of articles on SFG very soon.

These are 500 words (or less?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#49 – The Self

Sometimes, I get soooooo over hearing my own thoughts and voice(s) in my head. So, I pick up the phone to call someone. If I’m not in the mood for a call, I see a movie (usually a series), raid YouTube, Quora or Reddit, or – the worst, yet best of them all – build a campsite on Twitter just to observe the shenanigans of Tweeps.

… Just thought to let you know…

This was an “article” I wrote on March 17, 2018 at 12:20 pm ??

The Self-conceited fool and the two lousy hypocrites

Yes, it is barely even one sentence. I have a host of others like this ?. The topic, “The Self” looked pretty interesting, so I thought I should take a look and found one sentence… in an entire document. Anyway, I probably just wasn’t further inspired. So, let me add a few more sentences to it today. One thing I am certain of is that this article will not be completed today. Here you go sha.

Sooooo, who is “the self”?

Omo, I neither have the mental capacity nor interest to go philosophical today ?. I sha know that the self is not a singular entity. You are a cluster of personalities, behaviour, habits, and desires. Depending on the place, situation, and person(s) with which you interact, different traits become more prominent. This is why multiple people can describe you in completely different ways.

These are 500 words (or less ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

… As a way of being accountable, I’d like to let you know that I typed and published this article on April 26. There was “no light” for two days. Yes, this is after having one day of electricity after this experience. I live in Nigeria. Your work being delayed because of “light” is a norm. Between you and me, I’d like to say that I’m deeply saddened by this causal sick norm. No one in a civilised society should live like this.

Sup,

Here’s an article that was written by me on September 9, 2018. It was for a purpose, but never got used, I think. I can totally see why. Enjoy!

Peace is a choice. It is a deliberate state of harmony and serenity. It is deliberate because, by nature, the human is not peaceful. Peace is also an emotion. In fact, I have only begun to discern the concept of peace in its many forms. From my understanding, the concept of peace can be beamed in two directions; internally and externally.

I used to know peace only as the harmonious existence amongst humans. So, if I had heard, “peace be unto you”, I would have simply assumed that to be a declaration of concord among two or more people. “No fights, no arguments, love amongst countries, races, and tribes”; it never really went beyond that. I never really thought about it. So, if I ever heard of wars being fought amongst counties, or maybe the ridiculous mini-battles animatedly enacted by a couple who live down the street, I would have only wondered “why” and probably shook my head while frowning. I didn’t realise that human nature was only prevailing. Nevertheless, human nature is never an excuse because there is always the choice of accord. The entitlement of ‘punishing’ offenders by whatever standard set by the ‘offended’ is the twisted way wars and oppressions work.

Along the line, I found out about another kind of peace; internal peace. An African proverb, which I have come to love, says “when there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do no harm”. I’ve said before that innately, the human is not peaceful. The human mind is filled with so much worry, anger, doubt, unworthiness, and negativity. I have had these feelings many times, and I used to feel I deserved them maybe because I had done something wrong in the past and I felt “this present self-loathing I feel is some kind of way life wants to pay me back”. How wrong can that be? I realise now that I chose to feel the way I felt. So, when I would have been insulted by someone, there was no way to not be affected because I already had my own demons living in me.

Amongst ourselves also, there are always countless reasons to stay angry at what someone did five year ago. There’s always a reason to be angry and bear so much hate towards the colonisers who treated our forefathers wrongly. There’s always a reason to want to beat the heck out of ‘those’ Nigerians who didn’t want our fathers to have Biafra. How about those innocent lives that were lost in the Cold War? Or those who died in the hands of Hitler? How would their blood be avenged? All these infinite reasons for “NO PEACE“!

Then, when those who seek revenge succeed, will another group of people rise for revenge against those who initially sought revenge? And another? And another? And another? And maybe one more till we all succeed in killing one another and we become extinct.

The peace we have within us reflects and affects the way we react, and that simple reaction could make or mar the entire world, save or ruin countless lives, and many more “bigger picture” instances. I chose to exclude internal and external peace ✌.

These are 500 words (or less ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

… As a way of being accountable, I’d like to let you know that I typed and published this article on April 26. There was “no light” for two days. Yes, this is after having one day of electricity after this experience. I live in Nigeria. Your work being delayed because of “light” is a norm. Between you and me, I’d like to say that I’m deeply saddened by this causal sick norm. No one in a civilised society should live like this.

Some random stuff:

I remember one time I was crying in a public space. Someone came up to me and asked if it was because of a boy. I laughed ?… Bless her heart, the lady. She was quite worried. To be honest, I can’t remember why I was crying. I have a history of being an emotional wreck. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the past and give past Lami a big hug, and a high-five just for sauce. Most of the time, all she needed was to realise that things will be fine. The assurance that “someone understands and is there for you” would have also gone a long way.

All is well now because I know these things. Life feels a bit easier.

Today, via someone’s WhatsApp post, I learnt that the expression is “wreak havoc”, not “wreck havoc”. Who knew? ????

Today’s article:

I feel a wave of nostalgia today. Perhaps, it is a residue feeling from reading all my old articles. Yesterday, I read this article I published in 2018 and wondered why I ever doubted myself. I really like the article. The inspiration for today’s post came after I felt that familiar wave of doubt. It left a bitter taste in my mouth and mind. Right on time, I realised what was happening and CUT IT OFF.

What is not good about you, Olamide? What is unworthy of you? Why do you reject yourself before giving yourself the opportunity to prove that you can do it? Why do you reject yourself on behalf of other people?

That creepy self-doubt made me think about love. I love myself, so I shouldn’t speak or think negatively about myself. I have the capacity to do the “hard tasks”, and my history proves it. I am worthy of success and can achieve it. I can and should be happy.

While thinking about love, I tried to apply it to another person. If I loved another person, I would never try to convince them that they are unworthy of success or happiness. I would never tell them that they are weak and deserve to remain in a state of mental repression. In fact, such thoughts will never cross my mind.

In projecting the experience of negativity on another person, it was easier to understand how unfair I was being to my beautiful-self. Sigh. The fact that it took doing that to truly understand is pretty sad. I will do better in the future.

This article is to express to me how much I love myself. I do love you, Olamide. I will support you, encourage you, and praise you as you become a better version of yourself. You deserve all the good things you desire. You are worthy of happiness. Most importantly, you CAN do it. Rather than reject yourself, you will try your very best first. Your worth isn’t tied to your achievements. Remember that God put you up to this.

Come back here and read this anytime you need assurance, a hug, or a high-five for sauce.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hiiii,

My final exams start in three days! I’m okay.

Today, I went to school with an unironed blouse and felt like nothing but poop.

Wearing a piece of clothing with wrinkles is one of the worse things I imagine ever having to do. Unfortunately, “they” haven’t “brought the light” for a few days now. So, all my ironed clothes are exhausted. I had to settle for a wrinkled cloth. Hot tears. I really hope this never happens to me again. One thing I have learnt is to iron as many of my clothes as I can after washing (to be honest with both you and myself, I most definitely won’t do this ?). On an even sadder note, there is still no light, so I may need to also look like poop tomorrow or wear a gown that I’m not really a fan of at the moment.

Something else:

I mentioned that I’m using this place to cool off during this period. I have so much planned, and am super stoked to get started. Like I’ve done for two days now, I’ll post one of my unpublished articles here. This has saved so much time for me, and also helped me reminisce! Enjoy…

TO ROOPLERS OR NOT TO ROOPLERS – September 3, 2018

I like to create a mental picture of the stories I write in some of my articles. I just embellish them in order to make you, my reader, ACTUALLY feel like you’re ‘seeing’ what I’m saying. PLUS, I looooovvveee to have fun when I write. So, many many times, I end up adding unnecessary and sometimes scrambled details and comments in my articles.

I thought about how extravagant this might seem to some people who might just want to ‘get to the point’, so, I decided to create ropplers!

“My! What are rooplers?”, you ask.

They are simply my au naturel articles! ‘Rooplers’ is inspired by the word ‘bloopers’. The similarity between the two words is questionable, but, I’ll explain. If you study both words well, you’d notice that the ‘l’ in ‘bloopers’ jumped to a TOTALLY different position in ‘rooplers’. How?! Why?! When?! Who?! (Okay, this shouldn’t be included). I’ll explain, babies. It is quite difficult to pronounce /l/ after /r/, so, I moved it to a position where it can be pronounced without stress; hence, ‘roopLers’ #TheLinguistInMe.

*Insert ‘blushing’ pictures

My rooplers would fall under the ‘rooplers’ tag (of course). So, if you’re interested in reading all the extra details I cut out, head on to the ‘rooplers’ tag and have a go. Be prepared for a headache, though.

So, guys, you can now decide to read my straight to the point, totally informative articles, OR my beating about the bush, scrambled, eye ache-causing, TOTALLY informative, stream of consciousness rooplers!

In case you are wondering: yes, many of my articles would be posted twice…

TTYL,

Enjoy!

Needless to say, this is still me! I love this article. It was for my old blog. Would I still do rooplers? Possibly.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hi people,

I’m having some fun rummaging through my old unpublished articles. The one I am about to post here is pretty interesting! I wrote it on March 7, 2018. Enjoy the read, child.

The worst feeling in the world is the feeling that someone feels disappointed in you. This might seem twisted, but, read it again and try to get what I mean. You know this silent way people ‘treat you’ without telling you what they are actually thinking? I hate that because it hurts, and it makes you feel like you have let the most important person in your life down.

To Regret or not to Regret: A Short Story

So, on the day I resumed my internship, I branched at Computer Village to buy me some CDs for my computer-typing tutor, a programming app, and a Windows upgrade. I had that planned out since the month before, so it was not an ‘on the spur of the moment thing’.

I got it and asked the guy if the CDs were working and were not fake, and he said he doesn’t know, that I should try them and pray they work. I considered this for a moment and said ‘okay’, I’ll take them. I asked if he was always at that spot, so I could return it the next day if any didn’t work, he said no, he comes whenever he wishes. I got the CDs for 500 Naira each and bade him farewell. We shook hands, and I went on my way. When I got home, all the CDs didn’t work.

The above is how the story would have gone if I was the dumbest person alive. Of course, I’m not the smartest either (reading this article will further prove this), but, cut me some slack, peeps. Soooooo, this is how the story really went:

…Continuing from ‘so, it was not a spur of the moment thing’. I emphasize this because I want to make you understand that I knew exactly what I was doing and I had several long hours,              days, and weeks to consider what I was going into. The guy assured me that the CDs were working. I made all other necessary confirmation (yes, that was his permanent spot, so, I could return it whenever I liked). How do I know if he was not just telling a lie about that being his permanent spot? Well, I don’t. What? I did tell you I was not the smartest person alive *shrugs. I will find out, however, if I need to return any of the CDs (spoiler alert).

Anyway, I got my three CDs, and one happened to not work. I was even surprised the other two did, especially because they were the two most important ones. I got the CDs for 200 Naira each, btw. But, then, a thought struck me: I had just spent a total of 6h on three CDs which are 400, 100, and 99 MB each. On my network provider, I can get 1GB for 5h, making it possible for me to download the different apps I wanted, and be assured of their authenticity.

Let’s assume an average of 200 MB for each app. With 5h, in the comfort of my house and with an authentic ‘it is working’ assurance, I could get up to five applications of my choice…

… you see, the human mind works in the funniest ways. It is like it has a mind of its own (LOL). It dulls itself at the most crucial time and allows a person to make the most unreasonable decision. The moment of clarity then, not so conveniently, comes when the deed had been done and in most cases, cannot be reversed.

I could not get my money back, and the highest I could do was to change the CD that didn’t work… if I found or even recognised the guy.

Nevertheless, in this very disappointing situation, I found a cause for celebration. Instinctively, as soon as I found out my error, and what I could have done instead, regret came flooding in. I was low on cash at that period too, so, it was a sad situation. However, one light thought came into my head, and I knew I shouldn’t regret it, instead, I should learn. Now, I knew what to do, and it was easier to move on.

I felt the heavyweight of regret dissolve and happiness crept in. The happiness was that I had developed, and through my mistake, I had learnt how to achieve more with less. In that little way, I had been innovative. I had also matured slightly. It put me at ease, that maybe, just maybe, I won’t end up being a person who wallows in self-pity and regret of ‘what should have been’.

TTYL,

Lami

Okaaaayyyy, I see you, Lami from the past!!! ?

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

8:05 pm. My exam starts next week. End of article. Full stop.

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Just kidding (or am I?). I’m half not kidding because I am SICK of writing and just want to sleep. I’m half kidding because these daily articles make my day complete. *choices*. Sigh.

For obvious reasons, this article may be short. You know what? I’ll go dig through my archive and publish that here.

8:20 pm. Look what I found! An article I wrote in September 2018. 4 freaking years ago (save your work on the cloud, kids).

I’m pretty confused about why the title of the article is “Daddy issues and the many other issues that exists”. Anyway, enjoy reading the blast from the past.

In case I have not mentioned this previously, let me tell you loud and clear that one of my life goals is to have sound metal health. As such, I embrace the ‘let it go’, ‘think before you speak when you are consumed by an emotion’ (yes, even happiness), ‘go with the flow’, ‘fake it till you make it’, and ‘I cannot coman goan kee myself’ (I can’t kill myself) mentalities. There are many more, but, these are the ones I can remember for now. Basically, these help me deal with issues that I, otherwise, would not have been able to deal with being an extremely emotional person. In view of this, I concern myself with the mental health of other people. I show my concern by being considerate and giving room to certain behaviours because I understand the reasons for them. I also defend those who I feel are being emotionally abused. In fact, I make it a point to do exactly that, especially on the platform called Twitter.

Big talk, right? Truth is, I do all these things for other people, and even myself, only WHEN IT IS CONVENIENT. I am ashamed of this truth. But it is a pill I have to swallow. Online, the only thing that makes me different from cyberbullies is that I don’t type my mocking or hateful remarks. I say them in my mind and feel guilty afterwards, then get angry at other comments which I feel are harsh or totally insensitive. I don’t defend the bullied or emotionally abused because I feel I would be insulted, and “no one ever wants to get into a Twitter fight” or be named “I too know” for all the world to see. I care about what people think! I am not sure if caring about what others think is a bad thing or a good thing. That whole ish still confuses me.

About a year ago, I decided that I would be a therapist too.

Back to the present. I must say that there has been some mental growth. I’m not scared to stand up for people who are bullied. Secretly mocking and judging people, I make a point to NEVER do. I’ll write an article about this someday. I still care about what people think, and sometimes stop myself from giving a candid opinion on Twitter. However, as you already know from #8, a better version of me is emerging.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

In church on Sunday, my pastor talked about whom the next Nigerian president should be. He talked about the qualities this person should possess that will make her/him qualified to rule this great nation called Nigeria. I’ll recant the qualities, as given in a heartfelt manner by Pastor Paul Adefaransin on Easter Sunday, here.

  1. The next Nigerian leader must be a visionary. We need someone who has a full idea of where they want Nigeria to be decades from now. By the Nigerian standard, a presidential candidate will typically rule for 8 years. A person who is 8 years old in 2023 will be 16 years old by the time the next president comes in. They will be preparing to enter the university then. Will ASUU still be on strike? Will they also have to face the fate of inconsistent electricity, even after the world has gone through 8 years of technological advancement?
  2. They must be a respecter of the rule of law. Why should any elected official be or feel like they are above the law? Never again for this country.
  3. Our next president must be a communicator; they must know how to talk, listen, understand, and think logically. This person must also be able to remarket Nigeria
  4. We want a person who understands security. Remember, peace is not just the absence of violence, it is the presence of justice.
  5. How can our next presidope not be anti-terrorist? Anything but this is a no-no.
  6. Let us have some who will unite the country.
  7. We need a person who is open to development
  8. The next Nigerian president must be an economist. We have all that we need. Let this person be an expert (or be sure to hire one) in managing and harnessing our plenteous resources
  9. Nigeria has to be united, so our president must be detribalised. They must not give preferential treatment to any tribe/religion at the expense of others. #NigeriaFirst
  10. Last but not least, the next president of Nigeria has to be dereligionised. Yes, Nigeria is God’s country. Let us, however, be wise and not continue to tap into the vice of religious unrest that is obviously at its peak in this country.

Get your permanent voter’s card (PVC) and be ready to come out en masse to usher in the new Nigerian leader who will  serve us well.

These are 500 words (or less ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hi. It’s 11:14 pm, and I just woke up. I hit my bed around 7 pm because I could barely stand still. I definitely feel much better after a good rest.

Do you think people hate children? If not, why is it that people’s idea of disciplining children borders on fear and control? In fact, I believe that they think children should be taught with pure fear and control. In another light, I am still baffled on why … why … why people judge or refer to children by adult standards. I can’t process this. They are children! And we wonder why people grow up depressed, distrustful, or having utterly horrible mindsets. It’s the way they were brought up.

We desperately need an ideology reset.

If you read #40, I mentioned that I was going on a dopamine detox.

Sigh. I’m really at the point of tears.

Anyway, I tried to ease myself into the detox by blocking some websites like Twitter. However, I still had my Tweetdeck available because I created two collections of certain helpful tweets. Unfortunately, I opened a “home” column and saw tweets about a child who was raped. This is really self-centered, but I wish I did not know about the story, and some others that I saw on Twitter today. I really do.

I read more about it and found that the child was not raped, but was involved in sexual activities with some boys around her age. The children were between 10 and 13. Someone recorded it and posted it on Instagram. Then, the video found its way to Twitter by some sick individual. Now, it is spread all over the Internet.

I’m sad to tell you that this is not the worst of it. People, Nigerians, have proceeded to paint the girl in all sorts of ways. “c-owgirl”, apparently representing her “sex position” is trending on Twitter. People are depravedly calling her “wild”. Some are even making jokes about how she has better moves than their girlfriends. She is 10 years old, for crying out loud. If this puts this into perspective, she was 5 years old in 2017 which is only 3 years before 2020.

I can’t imagine what the children, especially the girl who seems to be the point of focus, must be feeling.

I want to stop here, but let you who are reading this know a few things. Children can’t and should never be judged like adults. Yes, they may know that what they’ve done is wrong, but do they truly understand? In my opinion, they do not. The video should have never made its way to the Internet. People, adults, should have known better than to keep sharing it. Also, comments have been so distasteful that it almost makes me feel ridiculous that there is a need to state this.

What makes it worse is that these same people are claiming that this happened because the kid’s parents have employed the “modern style” of parenting on them. According to Nigerian Twitter, it means not beating their children. The typical Nigerian thinks that the way to train a child is to beat, control, and instil fear in them. If this works, I wonder why a lot of Nigerians are so badly behaved and filled with so much hate towards other people. They will say, “my parents beat me and I turned out fine”. Did you really? Then, why are you mocking and judging children who have made a mistake in such a vile way? Why are you sharing a video of the low point of children who may have their chance at innocence? Don’t you think about how this may affect them in the future? Some have gone ahead to identify (and share) the names and pictures of their children. This does not tell of adults who have “turned out fine”.

I insist that beating a child does nothing more than to let them think that violence (emotional, mental, or physical), as can be clearly seen, is fine as long as they are not the victims. Many of these adults would cry so hard and feel violated if anyone ever emotionally or physically abuses them right now. Why do you think it is fine to do that to children? Can you tell me the reason?

This article may be very lightweight because I am too emotional to talk about it clearly. I hope that someday, I will have a clear head to really delve into this.

Talk to you tomorrow.

#41 – Memories

11:46 pm, April 16.

I have a memory

I am in the palour of my childhood home. I can see a black door slightly ajar. The patterns on the door seem to stand out, especially a large vertical rectangle that seems to be directly in my line of vision. Why am I so short? Light is streaming in, and it seems to be affecting my vision… wait… is this part of my memory, or is the torchlight beside me as I write, doing the same to my eyes, imprinting this pseudo-memoty into my mind? There is a woman in the palour. There are also a number of children scattered around.  I am standing close to the door.

My sister suddenly says, “first kolinko”

That was the first time I heard about the books of Chronicles in the Bible. I don’t know how old I was.

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I am in my secondary school. I see the faded wall of one of the buildings. Was it once yellow or white? My next class is furthermaths… or perhaps the class just ended. I am standing at the back of my class, Arts class. There is a board which demacates it from the next class, Science class. I see my friend in science class bending over something and decide to play with her. I go to her and rub my butt over hers. Such silly, childish play. She stands up… wait, she… she… is a he? I realise that I have made a mistake! I am embarrassed. I think I laughed too? I explain than I thought it was someone else.

This is one of my earliest embarrassing stories. I was in senior secondary school.

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It’s 2022, and I am in my one-room apartment on the 16th of April. I look up from my laptop screen and see that the sky is dark. I realise that it is about to rain. I don’t particularly like rain, but I welcome this because the weather has been hot long enough. I continue working. Suddenly, I want to go out into the rain. I excitedly think about this for a moment. Then, I get up, pull on a longsleeved shirt and wrap a big white nylon around my head. I don’t have an umbrella. I go outside into the rain. To make the adventure worthline, I decide to buy some biscuit and eggs to eat later. I enjoy being in the rain. I head back to my room. As I near the second gate before my door, I slip… and like it? I did not fall, though, thank God.  I enter into my room, take the shirt and nylon off, and feel alive.

This is the first time in my adult life that I deliberately sought out to be in the rain. I will do it again.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Happy Children’s Day!

Today, I wrote my final examination. It was great. My classmates and I took pictures. I made some moves that have no legal right to be called dance steps. Everyone was happy.

I then went home almost three hours after my paper; remember the pictures and so-called “dance”. Anyway, I posted the news of my exam completion on my WhatsApp status, got some congratulatory messages, and so on and so forth.

NOOOOOWWW, I feel excited to tell you that I can direct full focus on my research. It’s what I have been most excited about. Also, my articles on accessibility and equality will begin in full force. I’ll also be doing open source contributions and web3 designs.

My current research is on the patterns of language impairment in dementia. Language issues in dementia in Africa are pretty much uninvestigated. In fact, there is very little research on dementia in Africa. As a result, many people are still left uneducated about what dementia is, why it happens, and the effect it has on people. In my Nigerian experience, dementia is seen as a “mental problem” or the manifestation of a curse. This is because people with dementia have certain traits that are not “normal”. They could be violent, irrational, forgetful, or make inappropriate or spontaneous comments. Some people also lose the ability to groom themselves, making them look unkempt if not taken care of by family or caregivers. In short, many people with dementia need to have someone to see to their daily needs.

Unfortunately, many Nigerians do not understand this. My country even has a culture of abandoning mentally unstable people to their fate. This is why we see many of such people who we call “mad” living on the street, being jeered at, and generally avoided. Those “mad” people who are fortunate to have family members that take care of them still receive jeers and the quite irrational and funny (said lightly) fear from people. This is the way a lot of people in Nigeria, and I suspect many parts of Africa, also see and treat people with dementia.

I actually heard a story from someone quite recently about how a woman with dementia (assumed because of her symptoms) used to be stoned by children. The community branded her a witch. This happened some 20 to 30 years ago. For the children to believe that she was a witch, the idea had to have come from their parents. Imagine what happened long before that time. Worse still is the ideology those children, now adults, have and are passing on to the younger generation.

This poses a critical need for us (academics) to be hands-on in educating Africa, starting from our small communities, about the true nature, reason, symptoms, lifestyle adjustment needs, and caregiving strategies, to name a few of dementia. You agree, don’t you?

To be honest, sometimes I wish I could do it all, but I am particularly drawn to language because it is one of the first things people notice. People instantly know when what you are saying does not sound exactly right. They think, “why is s/he saying rubbish?”. The more “rubbish” or “gibberish” they hear, the more they suspect that something is not right. As this “gibberish talk” is one way we – Nigerians – classify “mad” people, they come to that logical conclusion.

However, this is neither my only nor top reason for wanting to focus on identifying the language needs of people with dementia in Nigeria. Language difficulties in dementia need to be profiled for three important reasons; diagnosis, care interventions, and communication prospects.

First, studies show that types of dementia have different language symptoms compared to other kinds. As such, knowing this would aid more precise diagnosis. It is known that different dementias have somewhat overlapping symptoms. The differences in linguistic impairment would be helpful to further distinguish them.

In addition, knowing how language has been particularly impaired would aid treatment. For example, if a person has more word retrieval impairment, it is logical that their interventions should match that. Person-centred interventions can help address individual needs.

Lastly, as more people know how exactly language is impaired in dementia, they know what to expect. Effectively, they can learn how to bypass the communication difficulties posed. Some language impairments in dementia include impaired word fluency, reduced comprehension, paraphasia, ‘irrelevant talk’, wordy naming, simplified syntax, naming difficulty (both of objects – nouns, and of actions – verbs), pragmatic impairments, and so on.

From the studies I have cited, you would notice that all of this has been done, so why Nigeria? Simple, Nigerian realities and patterns of language use are different from other parts of the world. I’m particularly referring to the use of English, which about 70% of Nigerians currently use. Let me show you a snippet of my research proposal:

Nigerian English is heterogenous because Nigeria is a multilingual society (Oyebola, Ho, & Li, 2019). It is influenced by the over 450-500indigenous languages that are spoken countrywide (Emeka-Nwobia, 2015). The consequence of this is that people who speak different native languages use English differently. Regardless, scholars have identified that there is a standard variety of Nigerian Englishthat collectively carries the colour of many cultures in Nigeria (Adeyanju, 2009; Alo and Igwebuike, 2012; Kaan, Amase, & Tsavmbu, 2013; Amadi, 2021; Galadima, 2021). This version of Nigerian English is used in literature (Romanu & Uduk, 2016), politics, new media (Oyebola & Gut, 2020), education (Edem, 2016), and so on. It carries the cultural baggage and ideologies of Nigerians. Expectedly, some indigenous influences are noted in the domains of phonology (Akinola & Oladipupo, 2021), morphology (Fakoya, 2006), syntax (Edem, 2016), lexis (Obasi, 2022), semantic(Adegbija & Bello, 2001; Kaan et al, 2013), as well as other language elements such as idioms and proverbs (Adeyanju, 2009; Umar et al, 2016; Umar, 2018). The peculiarities can also be found at the level of applied linguistics such as pragmatics (Unuabonah & Gut, 2018) and stylistics (Ibhawaegbele & Edokpayi, 2012), as well as through scientific inquiries such as discourse analysis (Atolagbe, 2012:163). This inevitably indicates that other scientific inquiries into the linguistic domains of Nigerian English – in this case, investigating language impairment in dementia– are likely to result in findings that are peculiar to the Nigerian society.

In addition, existing language tests, such as the Boston Naming Test (BNT), used to evaluate naming and word retrieval may not be suited for Nigeria because they do not reflect the Nigerian linguistic context. It contains pictures of items that research participants will be asked to name. Some of these items include pretzel, seahorse, volcano, wreath, beaver, rhinoceros, acorn, igloo, and cactus. These are not native to Nigeria, thus, may be hard for a person with dementia from, for instance, a small community in South-Western Nigeria, to identify them. The problem of contextual consideration has also been noted across studies on language impairment in dementia in other multilingual/non-English speaking communities (Baker, 1993; Pineda, Rosselli, Ardila, Mejia, Romero, & Perez, 1999; Radanovic, 2005). Accordingly, they have worked towards domesticating language impairment tests for their communities (Hanssen, 2016). As Nigerian English is a domesticated variety of English that is used to express the worldview of Nigerians, the same will need to be done for linguistically accurate study in Nigeria.

Furthermore, the analysis of data will require a context driven approach to cater for the linguistic peculiarities of Nigerian English. According to Kaan et al (2013:66), the “semantic components of Nigerian English consist of semantic extension, semantic narrowing, semantic shift, semantic reduplication […]”. In their case study of a woman with non-fluent aphasia, Tang-Wai & Graham (2008) noted that she occasionally showed signs of paraphasia (semantic substitution like saying mother instead of daughter). Within their linguistic context, this may be accurate. However, in a case where a Nigerian person refers to a motorcycle as machine, it would be linguistically incorrect to label this as an indication for paraphasia because machine has been semantically extended to mean motorcycle in NigE, even where options are given as seen in BNT. The same is the case for bike which also means motorcycle in NigE. Some other semantically customised words in Nigerian English include Kolanut (bribe) and globe (electric bulb).

There is so much to discuss that I’m struggling to fit in here while making the article non-technical. So, here’s a hint of what I will discuss (quite simplified) in the coming days. Of course, my discussion will not be limited to these:

  • What is dementia
  • Risk factors of dementia
  • Prevalence of dementia in Africa, particularly Nigeria
  • Types of dementia
  • Physiological representation of dementia
  • Language pattern of dementia across studies and eventually in mine
  • Caregiving strategies of dementia
  • Web accessibility for people with dementia
  • Caregiver’s care
  • etc.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#79 – Finish Line!

Guys, I have been so busy for about 3 weeks now. Last week, I travelled to an entirely different state in Nigeria. This week was spent going to and fro my dad’s house and finally settling at home to read for my two final exam papers. I’m pretty excited about this last part because my over-one-month-long (5 weeks) examination period will finally come to an end on Friday – tomorrow.

Let me tell you that I have been mentally done with exams for a while now. I am not used to a long-ass exam period like this. Typically, most of my school exams have lasted 2 weeks max. I had a lot planned this month. But, between studying, working on my thesis, travelling, going home (my dad’s) a number of times, and the Nigerian factorssss (light, traffic, etc) that renders one completely unproductive for days on end, my plans will now take effect in June. To be honest, I am tempted to say that “I have been lazy”, but that would be a lie. The habit of blaming myself in situations that I literally can’t help needs to stop. Thus, I am praising myself by saying, “Olamide, you have tried”.

However, I still don’t like that I have missed a few days of this series. That’s not the pact I made with you and myself. I will be updating them after my last paper tomorrow and over the weekend. Of course, I will do this with full accountability; noting the dates the articles were written. Look forward to them!

Today’s piece

Let me tell you something! It’s around 4:50 pm here. It’s cloudy outside, so my room is pretty dark. I have a torchlight (a “portable rechargeable LED hand lamp” – that’s what they wrote on the back of the light). This is great since there is no light (electricity)… except the torchlight has been malfunctioning for some days now. By accident, I discovered that the light would come on if it hits a solid surface (it fell to the floor on one of its malfunctioning sprees). So, I have been using that trick; hit it on a solid surface if the light does not come on. I just tried that now and the entire process just cracked me up ???… I am probably causing more damage. Anyway, I will get a new one soon.

Today, I finished my final psychology examination! If you have been following this series, I mentioned that I took three undergrad psychology courses. I absolutely loved today’s exam. I think I did well. To be honest, I was quite nervous.

Do you know the thing about exams? They are my least favourite part of academia. I love school and all, but exams just rub me off the wrong way. The fact that they literally take up 70% of your grade is also something I don’t agree with. Let me explain.

In a semester, I take about 7 courses. All through the semester, I am graded for attendance, presentations, group assignments, class test, and long essays. This applies to all courses. The grades for most of these are determined by my mastery of various topics in every course. I am also judged by how much time and effort I put into research for my group assignments and long essays. So, I give my all for these demands across the 7 courses. Sometimes, I spend no less than 2 to 3 weeks on one assignment, jumping immediately to the next and the next and the next. Of course, I learn as I go, and that’s beautiful.

However, can you believe that months’ worth of effort, time, and research, not excluding the other items I listed above are all collectively worth 30%? The exam that I am given only 2 to 3 hours to write now takes a whopping 70%.

To be candid, I would not call this fair. I am of the opinion that this strategy should be revised across schools in Nigeria. Your exams that last 2 to 3 hours shouldn’t be worth more than your hours, weeks, and months of time, effort, and research.

What do you think?

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

“Egúngún” is a Yorùbá word that is loosely translated to mean “masquerade” in English. They are not the same. But since no word in English captures it, masquerade will do.

A masked figure with an elaborate costume, known as Egúngún in the Yorùbá culture of Nigeria
A masked figure with an elaborate costume, known as Egúngún in the Yorùbá culture of Nigeria. Source: risdmuseum.org

Egúngún, also colloquially called Eégún (basically an abbreviated form), are masked figures in traditional costumes believed to embody spiritual links to ancestors. Some are even seen as ancestors themselves.  Occasionally, Egúngún visits earthlings in times of celebration, remembrance, festivals, and so on. Basically, these masked and elaborately adorned figures are used for ancestral reverence.

I’ve seen quite a few. Whenever Egúngún is out, a large crowd of people follow. They sing and chant sometimes. Some people in the crowd also hold long sticks to whip passers-by. I have no idea why. I steer clear from any Egúngún display, which is why the story I’m about to is pretty funny.

Bruh and sis, I am not going to detail Egúngún facts here. You can read about this piece of Yorùbá culture here, here, and here.  The above was just to introduce you to my encounter with Eégún today ?.

I decided to go to school today to have a meeting with my supervisor. A few steps from my gate (on a small street) to a main road that leads to my bus stop, I looked back and saw a legion of men led by a masquerade. They were throwing some sort of yellow grains in the air and making some noise.

Omo (a Yorùbá slang. It literally means “child”), that’s when I noticed I was the only one walking in the street ?… Shops were open, though

It looked like they even increased their pace as I increased mine. Although, this is probably just an imagination. I kept “discreetly” looking back. They were right in the middle of the street, heading towards my direction!

I reached a t-junction that led to another street. A bike (commercial motorcycle) was heading towards me from the street. I stop him and told him where I was going. He said he was not heading there, and zoomed off… in the direction he said he wasn’t going to. Tsk tsk tsk.

Anyway, I kept on walking (pretty fast now) and encountered another bike. To be honest, I don’t recall if this was my second or third bike. My memory of the whole scenario is pretty fuzzy. My mind was just focused on getting myself out of there.

I finally climbed (boarded) a bike. It seemed Mr Eégún and friends were right behind me. I told the bike guy to move quickly, “fast fast fast” ???.We sha zoomed off. While on the bike, I remembered to pray.

The last sentence in the paragraph above is what I want you to focus on. One of my goal as a Christian is to ask God for help, inspiration, ideas, etc. in ALL circumstances; good or bad. In fact, I always want God to be my first option, no matter what. I found it funny that the name of God totally flew out of my mind in a fearful situation. Why was I even fearful? I literally laughed at myself on the bike while it transported me to safety. Anyway, this is an admonition to myself to do better (in terms of my personal goals as a Christian) next time.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

As a way of being accountable, I am informing you that this article was written on May 26, 2022

One of the hardest parts of life is history. For me, it is particularly African history. It’s too hard to read… to think about the inhumane circumstances that my ancestors went through.  Chained, whipped, kidnapped, raped, drowned, murdered in cold blood, uprooted from their homes never to come back again.

Much of our history before slavery is lost and stolen. Our artefacts are stolen and displayed in the museums of those who killed makers for their crafts. Diseases that were shipped to our shores are not labelled as originating from the bowels of Africa. Now, the continent that was thriving and invaded by crusaders is called a third world. Our colonisers, however, seemed to have moved on.

While thinking about the perils of Africa, I could not help but think about how many human civilisations have also gone through torturous acts of oppressors. The Holocaust is one recent example. Yet, the societies from which these atrocious acts emanated and were dissed out seemed to be thriving. They are definitely not seen as “third world”, nor do they do much to earn that title. Why is Africa different?

This was a conversation I had with my friend about this issue:

Me

Can You Compare African Slave Trade to the Holocaust?

Friend

I really don’t believe in comparing large scale sufferings, or suffering of any kind. I believe they are unique and not particularly proportional to the quality of lived experience.

On face value, most people will agree that the Holocaust was more terrible. But there are many untold horrors of the Transatlantic slave trade. The told horrors nko? Some of the things I’ve read about it still messes with my head.

Then we have to think about the unending repercussions of both tragedies. Semitism, racism, racial inequalities, generational hatred and distrust trickling down the path of history into today and the future. It’s horrible but unique. Both are incomparable.

Me

I agree

I stumbled upon Hiroshima and the Holocaust yesterday. It made me realise that Africans aren’t the only ones who have a terrible history that will be hard to “just get over”. Yet, our cries seem to be the loudest (which is fine, really. We all grief differently)

Two other things came to mind:

  1. There isn’t a way to get over the horrors our ancestors went through at the hands of oppressors (Africans, Asians, and Europeans alike). I think time will heal our wounds ??‍♀️
  2. Other countries across the world also went through mass killings and oppression. Yet, they are advanced (economically, politically, technology, educationally, etc, and are doing well). What is wrong with Africa, then? It’s definitely not colonialism or slavery. Else, other countries (in other continents) who have gone through similar things or worse will be on our level too. What exactly is wrong with Africa?

Friend

Well, we cannot just get over the horrors our ancestors faced. You’re right about that.

The answer to your question in the second point is embedded in the first point. Africa is still living through its horrors in a literal sense, unlike its continental counterparts such as Europe and North America.

There are ongoing wars and armed conflicts in Africa. There’s still widespread hunger and drought. Intercontinental politics and neocolonial advancements still impact African communities deeply. People are more worried about eating and surviving.

Development is hard to find in places with such challenges, and any little progress built will not stand for long under such circumstances.

Me

The wars are also ongoing in other parts of the world

Like Europe and Asia. After America’s independence, wars still happened

The problem is the people, I think

Friend

I know. Development is not happening in those parts as the war rages, no nation at war and knee-deep in humanitarian crises can develop.

Obviously, people who are living in abject poverty and crisis have a higher tendency to get stuck in retrogression. Or, you’re one of those who think something is exclusively and fundamentally wrong with the people on the African continent?

Me

I think I am going with the latter. What has happened in Africa is no different from what has happened in the rest of the world at some point in time

At this point, Africans are solely responsible for the lack of development in Africa

I’ll use Nigeria as an example. People divert funds needed for the literal survival of people. Like, they deliberately leave people to suffer and die. In the North, people are intentionally left uneducated and misdirected just so they can be controlled.

In a country where people are intentionally kept in the dark, it becomes very difficult (if not impossible) to think outside the box they’ve been confined to. You can’t know that something is wrong if you are not exposed. The people facilitating this lack of exposure are also Nigerian. They do this solely for personal gain and international worth. As a result, greedy ex-pats are able to come in and further exploit the oppressed people

Do we blame these foreigners or the Nigerians who have given them room to come in?

I’ve noticed this in other countries. Countries that do well like Japan, Germany, the US, and South Korea are highly protective of their borders as well as educating the average person and involving them in communal participation. This is not to say that they don’t have any issues in those areas. However, their efforts to make their country better are intentional

Friend

I concur.

Olamide! This is an insight hiding in plain sight. ?
Unfortunately, our ‘leaders’ don’t really care much to think of a genuine way of solving our problems.

Me

The wars in Nigeria are completely Nigerian made and avoidable. It all boils down to the selfish desires of “powerful” Nigerians, the ignorance and brainwashing of the common man, as well as the disunity the first two have caused

Friend

Hmmmm. This is where I disagree, partly. Nigerians are not totally responsible for making these failings. The external influences and the powers that be in the global community really cannot be ignored.

There are strings pulling those who think they are pulling the strings in Nigeria.

Me

Who are the internationals pulling strings?

Friend

The so-called political elite, the self-proclaimed inheritors, your Obasanjos and Tinubus.

Not forgetting a certain Yakubu Gowon. That one was a standard dog on a leash.

Me

Tbh, I am of the belief that if our internal affairs are sorted and there is a clear intention/effort to make the country better, no external forces can penetrate (except by physical force). It does not matter how powerful they are

Friend

I think so too. But what to do to get the puppeteers out of the system first.

Nigerian elections come up in 2023. As citizens of this country, we will gather on the 12th of February 2023 to decide our fate for the next 4 to 8 years. Do you want growth or the further destruction of our dear country? The answer lies in our votes. Get your Permanent Voter’s Card (PVC). Educate yourself about the candidates across all electoral positions. Most importantly, come out and vote. Remember to vote wisely. Your vote counts.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hi,

11:33 am. Make it a habit not to “report yourself” with the hope of being scolded. That isn’t what will make you feel less guilty faster. It reminds me of the contemporary Nigerian saying, “avoid shalaye”. That means “avoid explaining your actions to people”. Rather, work quietly and deliberately towards being better next time. Also, forgive yourself while you’re at it. If this applies to you in any way, you will understand what I mean.

Yesterday, I was scrolling through YouTube and stumbled on a video about Hiroshima. I was shocked to see the magnitude of destruction the explosion left behind. Prior, I thought the nuclear explosion affected only a small portion of land, killing and injuring the few people who worked there. Imagine my shock when I realised that Hiroshima is a city where about 255,260 people lived. It is the city capital of Hiroshimaken (prefecture), located at southwestern Honshu in Japan. It was the first city to witness the deathly blast of a weapon of mass destruction.

The atomic explosion that happened in 1945 at Hiroshima killed no less than 80,000 people immediately (about 27% of the population). Guys, this number of people died nearly all at once. To put things into perspective, about 106 people die every second. On August 6, 1945, the number of people that died in any of the seconds within the 15th minute of 8am increased by 754%. How devastating. The name of the nuclear weapon was “Little Boy”. By the end of the year, over 50% of Hiroshima’s population – about 140,000 people died from injury, burns, trauma, malnutrition, and radiation.

Not just that, Nagasaki, another city in Japan was attacked only three days after; August 9, 1945. “Fat Man”, an atomic bomb more massive than it’s predecessor, killed over 40,000 were killed immediately. Its impact was quelled by the mountainous structure of Nagasaki. Else, the numbers would have been higher. Anything to make Japan surrender, right?

Between both blasts, nearly 200,000 Japanese people died  in 1945. Reports show that there are ess than 1000 survivors. These people have continued to suffer grave adverse health even decades after the attacks of the United States on Japan. Radiation is the cause. Some symptoms include

  • Hair loss
  • Inflammation of the throat
  • Central nervous system damage
  • Internal bleeding
  • Bleeding into the skin (petechiae)
  • Skin reddening (erythema)
  • Gastrointestinal symptoms
  • General effects such as confusion, convulsions, weakness, and fatigue
  • Long term effects such as cataracts and cancer

The incident happened in the Second World War. I hate that this seems to “explain things”. It shouldn’t. Why should there be a war in the first place? People, innocent people, die. Does that mean nothing? I’m sad that wars are still very much a part of our society. In my country, people in the North are slaughtered every single day. Things are barely different in the South in terms of killings; it’s just more subtle. Asia, in places like Israel, Palestine, Iraq, and Iran have been at war for as long as I can remember. I remember the first day I saw news about Russia’s attack against and Ukraine. Alongside it, I was people talking about the possibility of a Third World War. I couldn’t help but wonder:

What is wrong with the world?

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#72 – Eggs and Words

They say, “words are like eggs”. I remembered this before I dropped the raw eggs from its nest; my mouth. In fact, it was not a mistake. All the words I said today were deliberate. They

At 6ish am, I left my father’s house at Alakuko. I wanted to leave earlier but snoozed my alarm several times because I wanted “a few more minutes” to sleep. Between 4:30 am and 5:oo am, I struggled between sleep and the wakefulness that I critically needed due to just being Lagosian. I did my restroom business, picked up my already packed bag, shoved my laptop in to a bag to protect it, and left home at past 6. The great thing was that it was still dark. So, I was able to delude myself that I was on time. I committed my journey into God’s hands while walking to the bus stop. I stopped to buy a mask when I arrived at the bus stop. Crossing the express will never not bother me. Anyway, I did since I had no other choice. There, I saw a Maruwa that took me to Abule Egba. I considered the Maruwa a blessing. However, I was bothered about a Maruwa being on an expressway. To make matters worse, a huge trailer passed by us. I knew we were safe, though.

At Abule Egba, I did my crazily fast walk to the BRT park. Loads of buses were on ground, thank God.

I had a crazy discovery today! ?

My articles since the 7th of May have been invisible. I did not add the category (61-80) to my menu filter. Funny thing is that I did not notice. I’m almost certain that I did include that category on my menu filter. Anyway, it’s fixed now. Read away.

I’m currently listening to Juju feat. Henning May – Vermissen (prod. Krutsch). I’m on the third loop. I may reach 6. It’s about time I entered the world of German songs. I mean, after learning German for over a year, it’s only natural. Remember that I am adventurous with my music. This also includes listening to songs in different languages. From the top of my head, I listen to songs in these languages: Igbo, Yoruba, Korean, Hindi, Swahili, French, Ukrainian, Japanese (by kpop idols), and Portuguese. I also give English songs a chance here and there ?.

You know what? I’m inspired to spread my wing and ears to other languages around the world.

These are 500 words (or less ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

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On some random day in 2020, D decided to apply for a Master’s degree at her alma mater. The same course. She did and started the program in 2021.

L, while thinking about her academic progression – also on a random day in 2020 – decided to apply for a Master’s degree at her alma mater. The same course. She did and started the program in 2021.

Growth had happened to D and L. However, it was more obvious in D. She had completely changed. L, already bad with retaining people’s faces in her memory, could never have recognised her.

On shocking thing happened. D and L got along really well. In fact, they went out of their ways to say hi to each other, shaking hands and hugging sometimes. Why?

May 13, 2022

In the second and final semester of their program, D, L, and another friend, K were hanging out in a classroom. Actually, L was seated in front of her laptop, trying to write one of her 500-Words-A-Day article. K and D were the ones discussing. L chimed in once in a while. As their talk moved from one topic to another, it naturally landed on their undergraduate days.

“I knew you very well then, naw,” D said to L.

“You did?”

“Yes, you were the HOC”

“Wow, I actually don’t even recognise you. Can I see a picture of you from then?”

“You that I really hated.”

This shocked L who responded by shooting up her head. Her eyes were open wide too. “You did? Why?”

“I begged you to collect my assignment, but you did not”

L’s mind was blown at this point. She struggled to remember this incident, but couldn’t even dig up a faint memory of that ever happening. “Wait, what happened,” she asked.

“I think you were in 400 level then. Dr N asked us to submit our assignments to you before 12 pm. I came around 3, and explained why, but you did not even listen to me. I had an awful mental cramp and that was the only reason I came to school. Even after explaining and begging, you did not even look at me. It really pained me ehn.”

L stood speechless for a few seconds. “Wow, I am so sorry. I am so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” D assured L. “When we started this program and I saw you, I was just angry. But, then, I saw the way you behaved, I just forgot about it. You’re actually nice.”

“Wow. I’m trying really hard to remember this. Why did I do that?” L thought aloud. Her mind and heart were flooded with many thoughts and emotions. Why did she act so callously? It was uncharacteristic of her. But, wait. D is such a good person. How did she let all of that just go? Since they started the program, L had no memory of D being anything but friendly to her. Respect.

End of story. 

After this story, L picked up the phone and texted D another heartfelt apology, and thanks for friendship.

I wish my apology could be real, though. Although I do feel sorry about what happened, I can’t feel sorry about what I did because I don’t remember. Do you get? I really wish I could remember the incident so that I can ACTUALLY be sorry, not just think that I am.

It’s crazy how we could be well-deserved villains in people’s stories. The unfair side of this is that the villains don’t necessarily carry the burden of remembrance, only the person wronged does. Even more unfair is that the person that did you wrong probably won’t ever receive karma for that wrongdoing. Wait. Is that really unfair, though? Let’s just call it life.

D is a better person than me. She reached out to me on Wednesday to wish me luck on my exams and yesterday to ask how it went. The kindness overwhelms me.

D’s great personality has inspired me to share a few with you:

  1. Be kind.
  2. Learn to forgive.
  3. Give people second chances.

Items two and three particularly speak to me because those are very tough these days. However, experiencing forgiveness and a second chance makes me realise how incredible they are. What makes them better is that they were gifted to me even before I had a chance to apologise (I do not even remember the incident, so it may have been never).

Thank you, D. If you ever read this, know that you have impacted me with your genuineness.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

To understand this narrative, start from Part 1.

I’m switching to narration (novel style) ?

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

D’s first decision was to never forgive Lami. Her second decision was to tell her mum to speak with Dr N. Dr N will be won over by her mum, D hoped. There was an issue, though. Her mother was in another state. Would she be willing to pause the work that took her there and come to her daughter’s aid? D trusted that her mum would. The problem was when she would get back to Lagos, the state D schooled in.

Putting these thoughts aside, D went straight to bed immediately after she got home at 4:43 pm. She awoke at 8 pm, still feeling fatigued. The thought of L and her uncollected assignment came to mind. She picked up her phone and called her mother. On the first ring, her mother picked up.

“Hello, my baby. How are you?” said D’s mum.

“Not fine o,” D replied and proceeded to explain all that had transpired during the day.

“Wow. But that’s not fair now. A fellow student. Kai,” D’s mum commented after hearing her daughter’s pained narration.

D then proposed her idea to her mum, “Mummy, can you follow me to school tomorrow? This assignment is our CA, and I’ll fail the course if I don’t submit it. The woman is very wicked, I’m sure she will not listen to me if I go alone. Please, help me explain to her”

“Ah. You will not fail in Jesus’s name. Okay, I’ll leave with the first thing tomorrow morning and meet you at your school. But, I think that will be around 1 or 2”, D’s mum assured her.

The next day, 12:56 pm

True to her word, D’s mum arrived at D’s university the next day. Mother and daughter met and headed for Dr N’s office.

Knock knock, open door. D led the way into Dr N’s office, her mother right behind her.

“Good afternoon, ma,” greeted D.

“Good afternoon, ma. I am D’s mum, Mrs A”

“Good afternoon, ma. Please, have your sit,” Dr N offered while pointing to a seat at the opposite side of her desk.

“Thank you, ma,” Mrs A said while taking a seat with a heavy sigh.

For some reason, D chose to keep standing. No one paid her any mind. Adults were about to speak.

Mrs A started, “I am here to help my daughter speak to you about the submission of her assignment”. She went on to explain that D had been very sick the day before, but still made it to school.

Unfortunately, the girl who was collecting the assignment refused to collect it from her. She said you asked her not to collect it anymore. Yes, this is true, I said that. D, is that why you called your mother? You could have just come straight to me to explain. Sorry about that, ma. Oya, submit your assignment now.

The meeting ended.

That’s it? D, thought. Was the meeting really that short? D was sure that there was going to be a long argument with words like “liar”, “wicked”, “unfair”, and “report” being flung here and there.

All of this happened in 2016.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

To understand this narrative, start from Part 1.

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3pm

D: (Approaches slowly, looking uncomfortable). Good afternoon.

L: (Glances up briefly from her laptop). Good afternoon (continues typing).

D: I want to submit my assignment. Please, I was not feeling too well, that’s why I am here at this time.

L: Dr N said 12 pm was the deadline. I can’t collect it.

D: Please. Please, help me. I was really sick this morning, and still am. I have really bad cramps (D sounded like she was close to the point of tears)

L: If I collect yours, that means I’ll need to collect the assignments of other people that came after 12 too. I know they are around somewhere. I can’t collect it.

D: Please. I’m really begging you. This is the only reason I came to school today. I have really bad cramps.

L: (Getting more frustrated and remaining unmoved). Go and tell Dr N, please.

(D left the class feeling dejected. She had woken up with awful menstrual cramps and simply could not stand, much less walk, until around 1 pm. Immediately she had enough strength, she rushed to school. The 20 minutes trip from her house off campus was torture.

As she stepped out of the class, her classmates rushed toward her.)

Classmate 1: What did she say?

Classmate 2: She did not collect it?

Classmate 3: I knew she would not collect it. So wicked.

(Yes, wicked. D agreed that L was wicked. If not, why would L reject her assignment when she was clearly sick. She leaned against a wall as a wave of abdominal pain hit her. The pain was so unbearable that she slid down the wall. Tears welled up in her eyes. D remembered completing her assignment two days before. She also remembered ironing her clothes last night. Her intention was to leave home at exactly 8 am this morning and be back by 9 am since she had no lecture. Life was so unpredictable.

More classmates gathered around her, consoling her, as she now had tears streaming down her face. Some cursed L for being so inconsiderate. Others advised D on what she should have done.)

Classmate 4: Since you knew that you had cramps, you should have sent your assignment to someone so that they will help you print and submit it.

Classmate 5: Abeg, shut up! What are you even saying? Do you think she’s in the right frame of mind to have been thinking like that? Please, leave this place if you have nothing better to say. Idiot.

Classmate 6: We don’t need arguments here. What are we going to do now? I have also not submitted it because Dr N said 12, and I came after that time. I didn’t try to give L my assignment because I can’t be begging the proud girl. (This person is a friend of Student 21) Should we all go and meet Dr N?

Classmate 7: I was too scared to submit because I also came late, and…

Classmate 8: Yes, me too. I think…

Classmate 9: No o, that’s not a good…

(D listened to her fellow students, those who were in her shoes and those who were off the hook. They advised, criticised, planned, and consoled.

However, one thought permeated D’s mind. It was a deep hate for L who showed no mercy. She was never going to forgive L. At around 3:57 pm, D stood up with the intention of heading home. At this time, she also made another decision).

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

As a way of being accountable, please, know that I wrote this on the 12th of May 2022. To understand this narrative, start from Part 1.

 

This is faction. I am L. You’ll know what’s fact and what’s fiction in part 3.

8 am

Dr N: L, ensure that you stop collecting submissions from 300 level students at exactly 12 pm (The instruction was given with a stern facial expression that made L understand that Dr N meant exactly what she said)

L: Okay, ma. I will (L agreed. However, she secretly wished she had not been given that task. Her academic life stressed her out. Her final year project demanded a lot of time and mental commitment. It was no also help that she seemed to move at a very slow pace, no matter how hard she tried. Worse still was her ever plummeting grade. L wanted nothing more than to be left alone.)

8:43 am

L was the lone occupant of FA 55 Hall. Her laptop was stationed in front of her with some books stacked beside it. With a distinct frown that seemed to have become permanent on her face, she tapped the cap of a blue pen on her nose as she tried to formulate the first sentence of her Chapter 3: Methodology.  

Student 1: (Enters the class). Good morning. I want to submit my ENGH 308.

L: (Distractedly looks up). Okay, drop it here. (She points to a place close to her laptop on the desk).

Student 1: Okay. (Drops it and leaves)

(3 more students enter the class together)

Student 2: Good morning. We want to submit our assignment.

L: (Sighs). Drop it here. (Points to the spot Student 1 dropped their paper)

(They drop it and leave. 2 students enter)

Student 3: Dr N said we should give you.

L: Drop it here. (She does not look up this time)

(At 9:30 am, 20 students had come to submit their assignments. L increasingly got angrier)

Student 21: Good morning.

L: (No response)

Student 21: I said good morning.

L: (Quickly rounds up her 4th sentence and looks up at Student 21). Put it where you can clearly see other people’s paper.

Student 21: Na wa o. Small power, they will just start showing off. Mtcheew. (Drops their paper and leaves).

(5 students enter at once a few minutes later. L breaks her gaze away from her laptop as she hears them approaching her).

L: Put it here (points at the pile). Tell your classmates who are yet to submit that they should just drop it and leave.

(Of course, that did not happen. From 9:31 am to 12 pm, 54 more people trickled. Every single person or set of people who came in asked L where they should submit. A few also asked if they needed to write their names and sign. Needless today, long before 12 pm, L was fuming.

At 12  pm, L was happy that it was over. It seemed that the 300 level students also took Dr N’s instruction very seriously because no one came to submit after the deadline. L succeeded in writing a few more sentences, not without struggle. This rigorous writing session was still ongoing at 3 pm when D came into the class).

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These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

As a way of being accountable, please, know that I wrote this on the 12th of May 2022.

#62 – Motivation

Today is my dad’s birthday. Like I revealed on the 4th, I ended up going home. I enjoyed being at home after a pretty long time away. I also got my book! So, you’re getting some interesting things soon.

I find it absolutely weird that my exams are still ongoing. I don’t think I have had exams last this long. Usually, I am done in two weeks. To make matters worse, I found out today that my last paper is on the 26th. So, I had an idea (not really a new one if we take Transitivity into consideration). I’ll turn my revisions into articles.

That’s why I’m talking about motivation and consciousness today. I’ll do language, sex, and hunger tomorrow.

All these topics are from my Physiological Psychology class. My exam is on Wednesday

Motivation

Let’s call Motivation, Miss M. I just feel like it suits “her”.

Miss M is a versatile, mysterious, psychological enigma that pushes us to have/need goals, aspirations, food and water, etc.

What makes her up is a combination of drives that propel us in a certain direction. She initiates, guides, and maintains goal-oriented behaviour. Such goal-oriented behaviour could include waking up early (behaviour) to experience a fun day at work (goal), studying daily (behaviour) to pass an exam (goal), or exercising daily (behaviour) to stay fit (goal).

Shes got two sides to her: intrinsic and extrinsic. Sassy.

On the one hand, Intrinsic Miss M (IMM) is her own person. She is not influenced by external stimuli. Anything behaviour is done for true interest. In essence, the behaviour is the reward. Such behaviour includes personal growth, a sense of duty, and self-pleasure. An example is eating a certain type of food because it is your favourite.

On the other hand, Extrinsic Miss M (EMM) is influenced by external stimuli. In this side of Miss M, behaviour is determined by the environment – the outside world. Unlike EMM, the incentive is external. Behaviour determined by this kind of motivation are usually done for the avoidance of punishment or receipt of reward. Some examples include coming to early to school to avoid being punished or working hard at your job to not be called lazy (toxic much, though).

Miss M is usually categorised into motives and drives.

Motives are states of arousal that determine an organism’s energy towards a goal. There are three types; biological, social, and personal. Biological motives are innate and essential for individual survival. They are also called physiological motives. Some such motives include hunger, thirst, need for reward, and the avoidance of pain. ClarkHull explains how these motives affect individuals. The body maintains a state of equilibrium called “homeostasis”. This is a state of the body when it is not doing any

Here’s a secret: I completed this on the 10th of May.

Hiiii… We are getting the final part today. Enjoy!

. . . Shiii gets real

I got back into the studio and realised that people were ACTUALLY leaving (FOR REALZZ) and sh** became real for me. I was probably never going to see any of these people EVER again! The emotions I didn’t feel since the previous day started seeping in. Anyway, I figured I might as well start looking for my ride to Obi LGA. I was accompanied by, Mr Joe (bless him), a really good person, who helped me co-look for the ride to Obi LGA. I was focused on finding the woman, while he found a bus for corps members posted to Obi. After a frantic search, I finally found the lady leaning on a sweet black car. It would have been a grand ‘jackpot’ for me if she was from “Royal Academy”. She wasn’t, guys… she wasn’t. So, I carried my disappointment back to where Mr Joe found a public transport headed for Obi.

AMAZINGLY, three other people I knew were posted to the same LGA. From Lagos, I came with Nike and Seun. The third person was a girl who was my roommate (we didn’t really speak, though). I felt calmer seeing them. I was asked to bring my bags down, so, up the hill, I went AGAIN. Thankfully, Seun (bless him) volunteered to help me carry some of my things down. I’m really appreciative of the much help I had even without asking. Things were starting to look bleak, but those kind people helped brighten my mood.

I said what would most likely be my final goodbyes to most people at the studio, and we headed down the hill lugged with my ‘load’. After a while, many buses started leaving. I sat for a while, getting really agitated and wondering when we would leave already! I realised I had misplaced my jacket then. I went back up the hill to look for it, didn’t find it, and came back down REALLY ANGRY. The POP ended at around 12, my bus didn’t leave till around 4. That I felt so angry is an understatement. I also felt sad, scared, betrayed, and I really wanted to go home. Where was my adventurous spirit?

. . . The Not-Exciting Torture

My mood didn’t improve when we were finally told to pay 2,200 Naira as t-fare. It didn’t even improve when we left the camp ground, proudly the last bus to leave camp. In fact, add any other negative emotion to the one I listed above. We spent more than 3 hours on the way. More than 3 hours. The journey was made even more torturous by the thought of the unknown. I didn’t want to live in a hut! (although, seeing the inside of a hut would be cool). I didn’t want to live in a place surrounded by bushes where I would most likely see a snake! I was prepared to hate my school and was already thinking of ways to get reposted to Oju (the location of that radio station), or at least somewhere in Makurdi (where I knew someone).

. . . Some Mood Boosters

When we got to the NYSC secretariat (we were accompanied by our Local Government Inspector), the welcome was actually really really cool. We were welcomed by members of NCCF, and I kept hearing ‘uraba’. I later found out it means ‘welcome’ in Igede (the major language spoken in Obi LGA). I really felt welcome, and even smiled a bit. The LGI addressed us and told us to come back to the secretariat at 8 am the next day for documentation. The NCCF members helped us with our luggage; conveyed in a wheelbarrow and by hand, and we began our journey to the NCCF corper’s lodge. I was glad the environment was not bushy. They actually had tarred roads and (get this), a ROUNDABOUT fully ‘furnished’ with a statue! LOL. I was actually surprised to see one (shallow). I saw actual shops, houses made with cement… my imagination had been on overdrive.

Well, my relief was short-lived, as the ‘interior’ was surrounded by (you guessed it) BUSHES! The horror. Okay, so, thinking about it now, it’s really not that bad. If you stay in Lagos, imagine how developing areas in Ikorodu look. Obi is basically the same, except for the flashy houses. Anyway, the NCCF lodge made me feel just as welcome as the people who lived there. We were shown our rooms and provided with water to take our baths. After settling down, we were given food to eat. Okay, things were getting better.

. . . WELLLL

Fast-forward to the next day. We had to wake up at 6 am. My sour mood came back, plus, I was still exhausted. I really really wanted to leave. However, some thoughts of ‘maybe I should stay’ started dropping into my head. We headed to the secretariat at past 8 for the documentation. I remember being told both at camp and by well-meaning corps members not to allow my principal to sign without confirming every single detail of my employment. We were assured by the LGI that some of our principals would come to the secretariat to convey us to our schools. I was relieved by this. Soooo, my principal arrived with an okada (a motorcycle). Yes. Basically, every family in Obi owns a motorcycle and a wheelbarrow. It is also the major means of short distance transportation. This is actually cool. I didn’t think so then, though. I simply didn’t expect it (well).

To cut this looonnggg story for the gods short, I got exactly what I wanted; a surprise, and I sincerely absolutely hated it. I stayed in the NCCF lodge for about five more days. I spent the first day being angry and sad and calling people to get me out. On the second day, I started enjoying myself and even played some board games… I was still calling people, though. On the third or fourth day, I had a phone call with a friend of mine (bless him for listening), and I was able to speak on the list of reasons I decided to stay in Benue at all (another story). That made me realise that I simply had to stay put in Obi. One problem was that I had already pushed certain buttons, I couldn’t just ‘unpush’. So, I was faced with the challenge of reversing the major decisions I made regarding going out of Obi. I am not some crazy impulsive chit (or maybe I am), but, sometimes, I could get so overly emotional that I forget my perfectly logical reasons for certain decisions made by me. In other words, I tend to overreact (I’m perfectly human. Don’t you judge me).

. . . Signing out

Anywayyyyyyyy, I left Obi for Lagos about two weeks ago. I would be going back real soon, and I am excited about what Obi hold for me. Yea, and I don’t have a confirmed PPA yet. *shrugs.

Thank you for ACTUALLY reading this. If you skipped straight to the end, thank you. If you didn’t read at all, thank you.

Olamide.

For context, I only call me “Olamide” when I want to scold myself or be really serious in general. Don’t call me Olamide if you’ve ever called me Lami. As for this story, that’s how it goes! As I explained in #59, I ended up not going to Obi, but served in a city called Ibadan (the best place ever).

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

It’s 11:47 pm and I have come here to celebrate.

Today, I learnt that I shouldn’t try to deflect a compliment when I get it from people. Rather, I should embrace it and thank them for their kind words.

This sounds so simple in practice, but life really gives you some unexpected lemonds

I made this tweet in 2020 about the rapid surge in the value of crypto coins.

Does this mean I prophesied? JK…

However, I want to understand why the sudden drop.

Think with me today. It has been a while we did this! Time check is 9:39 am. I’ll be back after I do some of my tasks for the day. See ya!

I usually feel overly conscious of myself when I post on social media. The urge to delete my post comes immediately after I hit the post button. Then, I begin a mental war with myself. Leave it. No, take it down. No one wants to hear what you have to say. Your thoughts sound uninformed. The person currently reading your post is laughing at you. You should be ashamed of how you have exposed yourself.

Like you, I agree that these thoughts are brutal. We wouldn’t say these to other people, would we? Why should I then have those thoughts about myself? This is how I know that they are not mine… at least not from the real me.

So, I will share my thoughts, learn, improve the way I think, and all other positive stuff. As much as I want you to know this, I am also letting myself know that it is unfair to shut myself up, especially when I truly believe in what I want to say. So, I won’t.

Not shutting myself up means I have to tell you what got me shaking today. It’s the audacity of people to tell me that I am worth nothing for no other reason than my being female. They tell me that I should submit to a human being like myself; a man. They inform me in no uncertain terms that my time is limited and should be expressly used to tend to a man. It is hard to stay calm when I hear claims like this.

Let me show you what I saw today.

A screenshot of an Instagram post. It reads: "Dear ladies, weather we like it or not… a man is d head of the family.. Ler us normalize being submissive and respectful. U see this S.M ehn.. It will mk u think we hv equal rights with them but in actual sense. Na dem be d boss oo. no matter how sexy u are. Wen u reach 50 yrs max. U go retire… beauty go fade. But a man at 50 years can conveniently marry a sweet 16/18 yrs old girl… if u use their eyes see shege now… remember a time will come when market go finish inside ur shop ooo… table don turn be dat.. especially if they com ger money join… ti e ti taah"

There you go. I am most upset because a woman posted that. Here’s my social media reaction to the post:

“This is such a dangerous way to think. How can you think yourself so valueless? It’s sad that ideologies like this exist and are actively being passed down to younger generations. Don’t believe this. IT IS A LIE designed to keep you, a girl/woman, from reaching your potential as a human being. The essence of being female is definitely NOT to be an object that submits to the will of another person; a male human. If you think like this, it is time to escape this mental prison.

Practically, you must actively pursue financial independence. This is one of the tools that is used to subdue women. Alongside this is taking ownership of your mental and emotional needs. Be satisfied with what you can do for yourself at the moment. Know what you want too. It even makes it easier to manage your relationship with others.

Possess some common sense so that you can rationalise silly propositions like this idea of women being unequal to men. It shouldn’t even be an argument. There shouldn’t be a need to explain “what kind of equality” is being referred to. We should not have to explain that equality and equity are two separate concepts that coexist for an optimal human society to thrive.

It breaks my heart to see women believe that they are lesser beings.

Such injustice they do themselves!

It is even worse that they teach this to younger girls. Don’t we realise that this destroys the confidence of innocent girls? This is indeed a sad ideology that has managed to destabilise humanity.

It infuriates me.

The woman said a man at 50 can conveniently get a girl… A GIRL of 16/18 years old?

Does this not make you feel sick?

This is the kind of sick power relegated to men.

The bone I choose to pick today is with the women who encourage such behaviour by telling girls that they are commodities who should be decorated and preserved for the enjoyment of boys and men.”

I wrote this paper last year… grudgingly. At this time, I had resigned from gender issues because I found the societal reality of gender highly distressing. Every day, I would see people engaged in “gender wars” and did not want to be a part of it. My thought was (and still is) that I should not have to explain to anyone why I have equal rights as another human being. Being made to defend my rights seems undignifying.

How dare you proclaim that I am a lesser being because of my gender? Arguing with you is a waste of my valuable time.

So, I washed my hands off any gendered arguments.

However, I realised that choosing to stay quiet simply equates to contributing further to the rotten ideology. If you or I do not tackle skewed gender propositions, we allow them to thrive and infect generations upon generations.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#97 – Democracy Day

Yesterday was June 12. In Nigeria, it is Democracy Day (DD)… at least since 2019. Prior to this, DD was marked on May 29.

I don’t think I ever understood the essence of a DD. Frankly, I was quite uninterested in Government (a course) when I was in secondary school. So, many of the things taught never stuck. For example, what in the world do oligarchy and fascism even mean? To be clear, my disinterest in government ended a long time ago. While this is so, I am still working towards updating my knowledge on political terms.

This quest is particularly essential at this time. Nigeria has an election in 2023 it looks like everyone’s spirit of patriotism has collectively awoken. What are the causes of this long-awaited revival? I’ll tell you. Pain, suffering, desperation, and anger. Most important is the need for hope. This is why a particular candidate stands out amongst many. I am not here to campaign for anyone… yet. I need to understand the presidential candidates (the ones worth listening to) and determine who is my optimal candidate based on my research. I want my vote to mean something. In the meantime, I am certainly tilting heavily towards someone very popular with my fellow Nigerian youth, who are ready to uproot our country from the rut it is in.

Democracy Day is celebrated in many countries across the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, I do not give myself enough credit. In fact, my lack of confidence in areas that I clearly should have confidence in is killing me. That’s ending little by little, sha. Lami is attaining the height that she is aiming for.

Today, I met with a UX design team to discuss our design process. We are designing a cryptocurrency exchange platform at Design Pal. I am enrolled in a three-month design program where I build a Web3 product. I have actually never worked in a team with specialised design roles. My current team includes content designers, 3d designers (how cool is this?), motion designers, brand identity designers, graphic designers, UI designers, and content designers. I love it.

I am in the track lead of UX design. To prepare for today’s meeting, I created documentation detailing some proposed frameworks and methods to adopt, our timeline, and some resources for the team. It was an absolutely fun process. It was also surprisingly easy. This is the part where not giving myself enough credit comes in.

So, last year, I made three cool tech moves. First, I was a project manager at the Zuri + Ingressive 4 Good training. There, I managed about 14 teams, which comprised web/mobile developers and designers. Other managers were also assigned the same number of teams. In total, there were 114 teams. I remember because I was assigned team 114. Each team was assigned a product to build. I learnt on the job because I had next to no experience in managing a tech team. However, I suitably transferred my organisational and planning skills to that role, so it was fairly easy to coordinate my teams from the start. I attentively assimilated the tech knowledge required to effectively manage my teams. This paid off, as my three of my teams ranked top 5 among top 5 of 114. They wee graded on design, features, responsivity (of websites), etc. This experience was the best I had in 2021.

The next move was that I joined the She Code Africa Summer Camp program as a class coordinator (call “Person-of-Contact”). The program engaged girls who were on summer holiday to learn how to code. I was assigned to “Emerald Class” where everyone learnt HTML and CSS. First, I absolutely loved that children were being exposed to tech early. I also enjoyed their enthusiasm to learn. It was thrilling to see a glimpse of the bright future that awaited them. My class had two mentors who taught the girls those coding languages. One funny thing is that I had to stand-in for mentors at two (or more) times because of poor network. During this time, I learnt a bit of HMTL and CSS.

Immediately after Zuri (more accurately during) my interest in research and managing the development of tech product was fuelled. Rather unconsciously, these steered me towards my third tech move! I enrolled for the Product Management course at Entry Level. Did I think Zuri was great ? This was superb!

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hiiii

My day was quite calm compared to the last 4 days. I had quite a lot of rest. Sigh. Because of my rather slow-paced day, I felt (and still feel) quite unfulfilled. Reflecting on my day now, I can say that it is fine for me to have days like this. After 4 days of back-to-back hard work and sleeping for about 5 hours per night, my arm hurt from typing and writing, and I guess my body decided to take the rest I did not give it.

However, as much as I have come to terms with today’s rest, I won’t give myself the opportunity to slow down… At least for another week. This is not something I would advise you to do. It’s definitely not healthy for your body or mind. I am doing this because I have some clear (rather big) goals that I want to achieve by the end of this month, and I know that I may not have sufficient time to tackle them well in subsequent months. The last 6 months of 2022 are going to be very busy for me (I secretly love it).

BTW, it’s about time for another voicicle, don’t you think? Soon.

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My last article was about the importance of research. Today’s entry is based on session 1.2. on my TRREE course.

You would think that humans have always been conscious about morality when it comes to research. Okay, I think with our general knowledge of human nature, we would not put it past our fellow beings to throw ethical practises out the window while seeking knowledge. If you thought this, you would be right! Shocker.

Experimentations on living beings have been going on for quite a while. Human-subject experiments gained traction in the 19th century. At some point, research shifted to animal-subject, and this led to researchers questioning the need to use humans at all. This is when the question of research ethics began to arise. As discussions flew around, people began to accept human-subject research on the condition that extensive experimentation had been done on animals first. This started around the 20th century. However, outrightly unethical experiments were still being performed on human-subjects.

Research in bacteriology saw rise in the late 19th century and the early 20th century. Animal and human subjects rose rapidly, and questionable experiments continued to be conducted on both species. According to TRREE,  in North America and Europe, “infectious agents were injected into orphans, mentally disabled persons, and prisoners without their consent or knowledge” (p.4). Some were even electrocuted. Flocks of those kinds of untoward experiments were also found in Africa. An example is the segregation of people who had diseases such as yellow fever, tuberculosis, smallpox, and measles just for surveillance.

One such research is the tuberculin injection experiment by Dr. Walter Reeds in the early 20th century. He injected this substance into the eyes of over 100 orphans that he got from orphanage home. Many of them were left with excruciating pain, lesions in their eyes, and permanent blindness. However, Dr. Reed did not stop and was never criminally charged for his atrocious acts. This was not for the lack of trying by many well-meaning individuals.

Human experimentation reached a very low standard and sparked outraged cries from professional bodies. One such bodies include the Prussian Minister of Religious and Medical Affairs in 1900 who proposed a guideline on human experimentation. In 1931, the German Reich Ministry of Interior released a regulation for human experimentation.

However, both were largely ignored by the medical practitioners who conducted unethical experiments.

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I have passed my 500-word limit. I’ll continue tomorrow by giving you some detail about the Nuremberg Trials.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

 

This is a continuation of yesterday. Below are some of the simplified importance of research.

Research helps the world delineate the nature of new diseases and condition

How is research important to the discovery of new diseases and conditions? Through research, they can be identified and explored. Researchers can conduct experiments that will help them determine the nature of a disease, possibly identifying its cause. In turn, this would allow medical practitioners (who may be the same people) to develop treatments that can cure such diseases.

COVID-19 is an example of a new disease that we can relate to. When we got the first wave of news, there were lots of irregularities. This is because the real nature of the disease had not been discovered. However, through research, we discovered that COVID is caused by the SARS-CoV-2-virus that affects humans in all sorts of ways. It especially causes mild to lethal respiratory illness (WHO link). We also know that some of the symptoms include fever, cough, sore throat, and so on.

Research bursts myths

Perhaps one of the most important things that we know about COVID-19 is the way it spreads. It is an airborne communicable disease that  It spreads when an infected person coughs, sneezes, or talks. The droplets that come out of their mouth could enter the respiratory system of anyone within 6-feet. Asides from this, people would also transport the saliva of an infected person to their respiratory system if they touch their mouth or nose right after touching an infected surface. One of the stories I heard at the onset of the pandemic is that you could be infected through mere skin to skin contact. I was ready to cut off everyone because I lived with a person who is a high-risk ?. I locked my house against visitors and only shouted to them from inside. This lasted for only about a week before it became obvious that we could not keep it up.

Still on COVID-19, research into preventive measures as well as treatment strategies helped bring the world back to order. I remember buying almost buying a pack of latex gloves because people said you could suggest it. The only reason I did not buy it was because the price was ridiculously high. The pharmacist wanted to cash out of the pandemic… lol. I also thought of buying vitamin C because “people” suggested it. Thinking about all of this makes me further appreciate researchers.

Through research, prevention, treatment, and intervention strategies are monitored and evaluated for efficiency 

In addition, new and more effective treatments are equally introduced. According to TRREE, research”is a central and indispensable component of improving health” (p.3). When treatments like drugs and injections are put to test, the quality ones can be singled out, backed by evidence. This allows for more credible medical resources to be pushed out into the market. In the long run, lives are saved.

Research has many ripple effects.

  • For one, death could be avoided if knowledge is found. People who lived in the Medieval Era also kinda understood how washing was a preventive measure for communicable diseases.
  • As new knowledge is discovered through research, more gaps emerge. Thus, they need to be filled in even more research.
  • The gaps filling give room to tackle more existing problems and improve old methods of care/interventions/treatments
  • Research sheds light on the truths around medical conditions. Such discoveries can help cleanse the stigma attached to certain conditions
  • In developing countries, health revolutions can be made. According to TRREE, and I agree, “Wherever possible, such research should be conducted in these countries with the full involvement of the local researcher, with the goal of improving health services and alleviating suffering” (p.3).

In conclusion, research is indispensable in health concerns.

 

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Today, I started the Training and Resources in Research Ethics Evaluation (TRREE) program. It is an online program that provides training on research ethics and regulations that guide health-related research with human subjects. It also has nation-specific supplements focused on building the capacity of African countries. The training contains Modules 1 through 3.5. Each module has its own topic and covers various aspects of health-related research and ethical concerns.

Taking this course would give me the relevant knowledge and skill that I need as I embark on my research on language and dementia. The institution from which I intend to engage dementia patients for data collection (which would be announced as soon as I get approval) requires that I take this course in order to know what is expected of me. I am super excited about the entire journey. That my dream of being a researcher is coming true is the least part of the cause of my excitement. What I am most elated about is the impact this research will make in Nigeria (hopefully).

Of course, one single research won’t do it. Nevertheless, I want to spark the interest of people and turn their attention to this critical issue. There is a lot we can do as a nation to help this relevant population in our society (people with dementia) delineate their conditions and help create person-specific and innovative interventions. We – everyone from infancy to old age – deserve to be understood and spoken for, especially when we do not have the ability to do so ourselves.

I covered sections 1.1 (Why research is important) and 1.2 (Evolution of Research Ethics) in Module 1: Introduction to Research Ethics. Today, I will talk about why research is important. This article will be largely based on the course.

I found the first few sentences of section 1.1 quite interesting. According to TRREE, medicine is art, rather than pure science, because it is constantly changing. New diseases and conditions are introduced, which in turn lead to the development of novel treatments and interventions. Central to these are constant experimentations.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

While doing some work yesterday, my sister suddenly told me that something happened in Owo, a large community in Ondo State, Nigeria. I quickly picked up my phone to check Twitter because I figured people would be talking about it. As expected, I found “Owo” trending. This is how I found out about the massacre that happened at St Francis Catholic Church, Owo, Ondo State on the afternoon of June 5, 2022.

My sadness knows no bounds. I cannot even find a starting point for my lamentations. One thing I do not know and can’t bring myself to understand is why? Why the killings? Why the oppression?

While thinking some time ago, I concluded that a large population of humans are not meant to be ruled by one person. Rather, we should have tiny communities of people who share the same values. We are meant to operate in packs or prides, not herds. This, I am convinced, is the true nature of human society.

No general rule, law, guideline, or whatever, should be imposed on people who are nothing alike.

However, greed and the thirst to control led people to think that they can take over the lives of those who are just minding their business

Do you know what I think is ridiculous? That a so-called country is declared as such and rules, laws, and guidelines are imposed on completely oblivious people. Take Nigeria, for example. What does the settler in the deep forest know about their now-duty to pay task? This person was born free, grows their own food, makes their own clothes, and exists in content solitude. Yet, one president somewhere is claiming responsibility for him.

We need to restructure humanity. No man or (woman) should ever be the leader of 1 billion people or 200 million people or 50 million people or 2 million people or 10 thousand people or 1000 people. Such wealth of responsibility in the hands of one person can never be duly managed. People will never be heard, acknowledged, seen, or even perceived. People will live all their lives, never been able to reach their full potential because of the restriction that they were born in.

Imagine not being able to travel outside the shores of your country because you do not have a green (or any) coloured document that you cannot get if you do not have money that you cannot get if you do not work that you cannot get if you do not have the experience or fancy skills that are required. Living as we are now becoming a life-long quest of reaching milestones after milestones. Go to school, get a job to earn money, use the money to do what the government wants.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#89 – Adults and me

One of the encounters I dreaded while growing up was interacting with any adult. In fact, I still do sometimes. I just felt so uncomfortable because it was either they were making me look stupid, making dry jokes and more or less forcing me to laugh, or scolding me without reason. So, I tried my best to not offend the adults around me. “Be good, and you will not face their wrath”, I thought… think. Say the right things, so you won’t be scolded or be told you look stupid. If they say something you are unsure of, laugh because it could be a joke. You don’t want them to feel slighted, do you? Take care of them, so you won’t be blamed.

To save myself the trouble of acting right, I avoided anyone I considered to be an adult. Anyone who was older than me, especially those in their twenties upward. I did not want to be friends with an elderly person and met their niceness with great suspicion. “Why do you seem happy to see me? I must have done something wrong, and you are happy about the impeding hard words you would soon bestow upon me”, I would think. “Why is this woman/man asking after my affairs? Do they think I am hiding something?”

Let me tell you that as I grew up, it did not get better. When I was younger, I was quite the smarty-pants. So, I was given two separate double promotions on the grounds of being too brilliant for my class. If I could turn back the hands of time and knowing what I know now, I would have begged them – begged them – to let me stay in those classes and grow up with my peers. Being promoted in such a way put me two to three years above my peers. I felt the significance of this when I got to JSS 1 (Junior Secondary School). I was suddenly the “baby of the class”. Till I graduated from university, I was always the “baby of the class”. That label annoys me so much.

The result of this is that I saw my classmates as adults. It made it hard to interact. Them reiterating that label made it even worse. I definitely do not blame them. Life just happened to me in that way. I was skittish around them. Ensured their “elderly” requirements were satisfied. Tried not to offend them, tried to be obedient, tried to be silent.

I tried to fit in, but could not because I was in the midst of the very adults I was thoroughly afraid of. In JSS, the adults were in my class and the other classes above. In SSS, they were in my class and the other classes above. In university, they were in my class and the other classes above. Now, outside the university, it is every one who looks to be in their twenties or above. The mental load is crazy.

I figured out long ago that this was a “me” problem. It is something I have to tackle on my own, and I am trying. But, between one childhood baggage and the other, I feel like I am pulling a hundred logs behind me, one at a time, but need to get all of them to the finish line at the same time (picture this). A fool’s task.

I had two encounters with people I consider “adults” today. They brought back these memories I wish I could get over already.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Sin-eaters are ugly, and no one knows why. Sin-eaters are extremely disliked, and no one knows why. Sin-eaters are outcasts and no one knows why. I will tell you why.

A sin-eater is a person who cares too much. She soaks up the baggage of those around her and gets weighed down by them. The black bile that people secrete then infests her face. It becomes distorted. Her stomach soon protrudes from the venoms of men and women. Her limbs follow, swelling distortedly as people inject their vomits, tears, and urine into her. Her eyes go red because she can no longer blink, or else she misses the cry of someone who needs her help. The stink … the foul, indescribably stink follows. It emanates from her belly button, nose, ears, mouth, armpits, and every crevice on her body. The spaces between her toes are where she files everyone’s cases… for safekeeping. Soon, she cannot walk because the files are now too many.

But, the people around her. The one she has gone to high heavens and hells to help can’t place their hands on what exactly they think is wrong with here. They only know that she is ugly and dislikeable. Therefore, they toss her out on her ears, making out the outcaste that she ought to be.

Should I explain it in simpler terms?

A sin-eater is one who helps people and neglects herself or himself. Because she is an empath, she soaks up the suffering of her fellow human beings and cannot stand to see them suffer. She feels their pain, cries when they cry, and mourns when they mourn. So, it is no bother at all when they ask for help. She wants them to have comfort, after all. She does not only help, she helps with everything she’s got. She gives you all her attention, tending t your wound day and night, ensuring that you eat even if she starves. And you know what? While she is helping you with so much dedication, she is doing the same for 10 more people.

This is his misfortune begins. While being exhausted from listening to his friends’ secrets and worries, comforting his brother, crying with his sister, and taking care of his parents, not one person stops and does the same for him. In fact, when they are all okay, no single person would ever do the same thing for him. They will take and take and take and take till he has not a single thing left to give. At that moment, they start wondering why he is so useless or selfish or wicked. And you know what they do? They let him go. By this time, it is too late for the sin-eater to help himself. He has become a mere shell.

Don’t be a sin-eater. If, in your situation, the opposite of being a sin-eater is being selfish, take up that role with pride. You are saving yourself, after all. Give only what you can afford to give. Nothing more, but by all means less. Never let yourself go while you help others get on their feet. Don’t overstretch yourself in a bid to come to the aid of others. Don’t be the sole person responsible for something huge in your family, work, school, or friend group. As long as there are other people who can help in the same manner as you, share responsibilities. Most importantly, never be afraid to walk away when things get too tough. In the end, it is truly always just you.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

#87 – Today, I think

This is a think piece. It’s my stream of consciousness. Just read.

My dream car is a FORD. I just want to own a Ford.

I remember a time in Senior Secondary School when I talked about what car I would like to own. Then, we had club meetings every Wednesday. I was in Press Club. On this day, someone asked me what my dream car was. Without thinking much, I said “Hummer Jeep”. LOL! At that time, Hummer Jeep was trending, and it was really the only “big car” that I knew. Honestly, I thought that Hummer Jeeps were pretty ugly.

My love for Ford arose when I noticed the unique way Ford cars looked. Most peculiar was the logo. Rather than the typical logo that most cars had, Ford’s logo was simply its name. That drew me. Since then, my dream car has remained a Ford. I’ll get one someday.

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It is easy to get lost in the frenzy. The world is so loud, sad, chaotic, and rough. Right and left, there is always something to take note of… or else. You need to keep up with this, that, and everything in between. The stress that all of that comes with is remarkable.

At some point, you feel like you are in centre of a large square hall. Imagine with me for a second here. In that hall, a group of people are standing in all four corners, screaming at you to come. At this point, your heart is beating a mile per second. You don’t know where to go. You take a step left, and everyone at your right, front, and back shouts at you to stop. “No!!! What are you doing? This is where you are supposed to be,” they proclaim convincingly. You take a step forward, and everyone else does the same again. At this point, you are utterly confused. You take to shuffling. Right… no, left… no, forward… no, backward…

In the end, you go nowhere. This is when you realise that you can’t do what the world says. You can’t take the world’s advice. You can’t heed the world’s call. Else, you’ll do absolutely nothing.

This is how I feel sometimes. Do you feel the same way? Don’t give in to the pressures from around you. To do this, you need to quiet the voices and let your life be about you. Think about you want to do and do it.

I’ll let you know that it’s not that simple. Speaking from experience, I feel guilty, inadequate, or ashamed when I do not do what the world wants. To make things about me, I literally fight myself. For example, when I post things (let’s say an opinion) online, I have the urge to delete them immediately. My thoughts are that people think my opinion is trash.

When I find myself taking a step in the direction of those hypothetical people, I hold myself by saying (out loud) that my opinions deserve to be heard. Sometimes, I tell myself that I do not care what people think. For the most part, this works. However, the latter is still about the world. Thus, my ideal reason for posting my opinions online should simply be “because I want to”.

It’s tough. I’ll continue to strive to create my own narratives and take my own actions, simply because I want to.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

 

#83 –

While thinking, as I am in the habit of doing, I discovered that I have an unconscious bias.

Immediately I notice that a person is verbally unhinged, extremely extroverted, or overly outspoken in any way, I back off. This applies to a person that belongs to a “clique”. Hell no.

I don’t want to go through the stress of explaining “my side of the story” to a world that really does not give a shit, but is more than happy to indulge in gossip and act as judge and jury.

Today, I saw two tweets that had me feeling two different ways.

The content of the first made me cringe a little and feel somewhat entertained. The other fueled me with an anger I knew was already pent up; an anger I have expressed one too many times on this series.

Here is a tweet by … Here, a person by the social media name “WhiteOyinbo” shows her straight hair – which she calls “oyinbo hair” – turning into a curly one – which she called “Nigerian hair”. i found that cringy because no Nigerian hair looks like that. However, far from what the poster suggests, I did not find it offensive at all. In fact, as I scrolled down the tweet, I saw more videos of this lady continuously referenicing Nigeria, I grew more entertained. This one, I found slightly funny.

As I read through the comment, I stumbled on an altercation between someone who appears to be an African American (AA) and a Nigerian (N). The AA was offended about the lady’s video, but the N tackled it by saying, “we do not gate keep our culture like you do. That was when I stumbled on the second tweet that abolutely pissed me off.

I’d like to clarify a few things that may be relevant to your understanding of this tweet:

  1. I don’t subscribe to gatekeeping a culture. By gatekeeping, I mean attacking people who engange in wearing certain clothes, eating certain meals, speaking/saying words/phrases/sentences, or acting in ways that are typically linked a particular culture. For example, I don’t necessarily think it is offnensive for a Western woman to do braids.
  2. However, I draw strong line at blatant direspect, lies, or theft of hard facts. For example, Mungo Park did not discover River Nile. How silly it is that people are being taught this. Similarly, civilisation was not brought to African by Western ex-pats.
  3. Referring to any group of people as “black” or “white” does not sit well with me. So, I largely avoid doing that.

When you offend or hurt someone, you have a choice to apologise or not. Either is totally acceptable and equally do not affect the offendee’s stance on the effect of what you have done. In other words, your apology or lack of does not affect what the other person thinks of you. They may choose to forgive you, become your best friend again, totally cut you off, revenge, expose your deeds, or just ignore you.

Thus, your apology should come from a place of sincerity. Only apologise if it is genuine.

What you shouldn’t do is wait for some time and come back, all smiles to the person you have offended, in hopes that they will have “got over it” and be cool with you too. Worse still is being offended when they don’t seem to reciprocate your goodwill. You really don’t have the right to say things like, “but I already apologised”.

I believe that such an attitude compound the entire initial hurt. Do you get it? Yes? Okay, here’s how to apologise with sincerity:

  1. Acknowledge your wrong. This is the first step in your apology escapade. You need to know what you did wrong. You could do some soul-searching. It doesn’t hurt to confirm from the angry party. However, be sure that they are ready to talk about it.
  2. Admit your wrong to the person receiving the apology. Now that you know your wrongdoing, admit it. Say, “I have done blank blank blank and realise how much it has upset you”. By doing this, you’re letting the second party know that you now understand the impact of your action.
  3. Say, “I’m sorry”. This is the best part. Just say sorry. Also, don’t ask questions like, “do you forgive me?”. Give the person room to decide that on their own, no need to prompt them.
  4. Don’t make excuses. I know how tempting it can be. But, don’t say the 101 excuses that have flooded your mind. Emotions are still high. However, if the excuse directly affects how the situation may be seen by the offendee, you can go ahead and clarify things. For example, you can explain that the reason you were unable to meet a critical deadline was that you were admitted to the hospital.
  5. Ask if there is anything you can do. Now that you have apologised, confirm what you can do to help. If it is a wrong that is reversible, even better. Don’t hesitate to jump in and do what is necessary
  6. Let it go. This is sometimes one of the hardest parts of apologies. Since you can’t expressly make them forgive you, you also need to accept whatever decision they arrive at. This includes not forgiving you. It will be hard, but accept it and move on. If you think the friendship is worth fighting hard for, go for it. Bear in mind, however, that you may need to eventually let go. Also, don’t allow the offendee to take advantage of you by milking off your apology. You shouldn’t feel like you owe them something forever, especially if they expressly want to make you feel that way.

Here’s something to laugh about; I am always confused about whether to use and stick with American (apologize) or British (apologise) spellings. This is one of the reasons I advocate for a recognised Nigerian English dictionary. It’s about time, my fellow scholars!

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Happy Children’s Day!

Today, I wrote my final examination. It was great. My classmates and I took pictures. I made some moves that have no legal right to be called dance steps. Everyone was happy.

I then went home almost three hours after my paper; remember the pictures and so-called “dance”. Anyway, I posted the news of my exam completion on my WhatsApp status, got some congratulatory messages, and so on and so forth.

NOOOOOWWW, I feel excited to tell you that I can direct full focus on my research. It’s what I have been most excited about. Also, my articles on accessibility and equality will begin in full force. I’ll also be doing open source contributions and web3 designs.

My current research is on the patterns of language impairment in dementia. Language issues in dementia in Africa are pretty much uninvestigated. In fact, there is very little research on dementia in Africa. As a result, many people are still left uneducated about what dementia is, why it happens, and the effect it has on people. In my Nigerian experience, dementia is seen as a “mental problem” or the manifestation of a curse. This is because people with dementia have certain traits that are not “normal”. They could be violent, irrational, forgetful, or make inappropriate or spontaneous comments. Some people also lose the ability to groom themselves, making them look unkempt if not taken care of by family or caregivers. In short, many people with dementia need to have someone to see to their daily needs.

Unfortunately, many Nigerians do not understand this. My country even has a culture of abandoning mentally unstable people to their fate. This is why we see many of such people who we call “mad” living on the street, being jeered at, and generally avoided. Those “mad” people who are fortunate to have family members that take care of them still receive jeers and the quite irrational and funny (said lightly) fear from people. This is the way a lot of people in Nigeria, and I suspect many parts of Africa, also see and treat people with dementia.

I actually heard a story from someone quite recently about how a woman with dementia (assumed because of her symptoms) used to be stoned by children. The community branded her a witch. This happened some 20 to 30 years ago. For the children to believe that she was a witch, the idea had to have come from their parents. Imagine what happened long before that time. Worse still is the ideology those children, now adults, have and are passing on to the younger generation.

This poses a critical need for us (academics) to be hands-on in educating Africa, starting from our small communities, about the true nature, reason, symptoms, lifestyle adjustment needs, and caregiving strategies, to name a few of dementia. You agree, don’t you?

To be honest, sometimes I wish I could do it all, but I am particularly drawn to language because it is one of the first things people notice. People instantly know when what you are saying does not sound exactly right. They think, “why is s/he saying rubbish?”. The more “rubbish” or “gibberish” they hear, the more they suspect that something is not right. As this “gibberish talk” is one way we – Nigerians – classify “mad” people, they come to that logical conclusion.

However, this is neither my only nor top reason for wanting to focus on identifying the language needs of people with dementia in Nigeria. Language difficulties in dementia need to be profiled for three important reasons; diagnosis, care interventions, and communication prospects.

First, studies show that types of dementia have different language symptoms compared to other kinds. As such, knowing this would aid more precise diagnosis. It is known that different dementias have somewhat overlapping symptoms. The differences in linguistic impairment would be helpful to further distinguish them.

In addition, knowing how language has been particularly impaired would aid treatment. For example, if a person has more word retrieval impairment, it is logical that their interventions should match that. Person-centred interventions can help address individual needs.

Lastly, as more people know how exactly language is impaired in dementia, they know what to expect. Effectively, they can learn how to bypass the communication difficulties posed. Some language impairments in dementia include impaired word fluency, reduced comprehension, paraphasia, ‘irrelevant talk’, wordy naming, simplified syntax, naming difficulty (both of objects – nouns, and of actions – verbs), pragmatic impairments, and so on.

From the studies I have cited, you would notice that all of this has been done, so why Nigeria? Simple, Nigerian realities and patterns of language use are different from other parts of the world. I’m particularly referring to the use of English, which about 70% of Nigerians currently use. Let me show you a snippet of my research proposal:

Nigerian English is heterogenous because Nigeria is a multilingual society (Oyebola, Ho, & Li, 2019). It is influenced by the over 450-500indigenous languages that are spoken countrywide (Emeka-Nwobia, 2015). The consequence of this is that people who speak different native languages use English differently. Regardless, scholars have identified that there is a standard variety of Nigerian Englishthat collectively carries the colour of many cultures in Nigeria (Adeyanju, 2009; Alo and Igwebuike, 2012; Kaan, Amase, & Tsavmbu, 2013; Amadi, 2021; Galadima, 2021). This version of Nigerian English is used in literature (Romanu & Uduk, 2016), politics, new media (Oyebola & Gut, 2020), education (Edem, 2016), and so on. It carries the cultural baggage and ideologies of Nigerians. Expectedly, some indigenous influences are noted in the domains of phonology (Akinola & Oladipupo, 2021), morphology (Fakoya, 2006), syntax (Edem, 2016), lexis (Obasi, 2022), semantic(Adegbija & Bello, 2001; Kaan et al, 2013), as well as other language elements such as idioms and proverbs (Adeyanju, 2009; Umar et al, 2016; Umar, 2018). The peculiarities can also be found at the level of applied linguistics such as pragmatics (Unuabonah & Gut, 2018) and stylistics (Ibhawaegbele & Edokpayi, 2012), as well as through scientific inquiries such as discourse analysis (Atolagbe, 2012:163). This inevitably indicates that other scientific inquiries into the linguistic domains of Nigerian English – in this case, investigating language impairment in dementia– are likely to result in findings that are peculiar to the Nigerian society.

In addition, existing language tests, such as the Boston Naming Test (BNT), used to evaluate naming and word retrieval may not be suited for Nigeria because they do not reflect the Nigerian linguistic context. It contains pictures of items that research participants will be asked to name. Some of these items include pretzel, seahorse, volcano, wreath, beaver, rhinoceros, acorn, igloo, and cactus. These are not native to Nigeria, thus, may be hard for a person with dementia from, for instance, a small community in South-Western Nigeria, to identify them. The problem of contextual consideration has also been noted across studies on language impairment in dementia in other multilingual/non-English speaking communities (Baker, 1993; Pineda, Rosselli, Ardila, Mejia, Romero, & Perez, 1999; Radanovic, 2005). Accordingly, they have worked towards domesticating language impairment tests for their communities (Hanssen, 2016). As Nigerian English is a domesticated variety of English that is used to express the worldview of Nigerians, the same will need to be done for linguistically accurate study in Nigeria.

Furthermore, the analysis of data will require a context driven approach to cater for the linguistic peculiarities of Nigerian English. According to Kaan et al (2013:66), the “semantic components of Nigerian English consist of semantic extension, semantic narrowing, semantic shift, semantic reduplication […]”. In their case study of a woman with non-fluent aphasia, Tang-Wai & Graham (2008) noted that she occasionally showed signs of paraphasia (semantic substitution like saying mother instead of daughter). Within their linguistic context, this may be accurate. However, in a case where a Nigerian person refers to a motorcycle as machine, it would be linguistically incorrect to label this as an indication for paraphasia because machine has been semantically extended to mean motorcycle in NigE, even where options are given as seen in BNT. The same is the case for bike which also means motorcycle in NigE. Some other semantically customised words in Nigerian English include Kolanut (bribe) and globe (electric bulb).

There is so much to discuss that I’m struggling to fit in here while making the article non-technical. So, here’s a hint of what I will discuss (quite simplified) in the coming days. Of course, my discussion will not be limited to these:

  • What is dementia
  • Risk factors of dementia
  • Prevalence of dementia in Africa, particularly Nigeria
  • Types of dementia
  • Physiological representation of dementia
  • Language pattern of dementia across studies and eventually in mine
  • Caregiving strategies of dementia
  • Web accessibility for people with dementia
  • Caregiver’s care
  • etc.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

One of the hardest parts of life is history. For me, it is particularly African history. It’s too hard to read… to think about the inhumane circumstances that my ancestors went through.  Chained, whipped, kidnapped, raped, drowned, murdered in cold blood, uprooted from their homes never to come back again.

Much of our history before slavery is lost and stolen. Our artefacts are stolen and displayed in the museums of those who killed makers for their crafts. Diseases that were shipped to our shores are not labelled as originating from the bowels of Africa. Now, the continent that was thriving and invaded by crusaders is called a third world. Our colonisers, however, seemed to have moved on.

While thinking about the perils of Africa, I could not help but think about how many human civilisations have also gone through torturous acts of oppressors. The Holocaust is one recent example. Yet, the societies from which these atrocious acts emanated and were dissed out seemed to be thriving. They are definitely not seen as “third world”, nor do they do much to earn that title. Why is Africa different?

This was a conversation I had with my friend about this issue:

Me

Can You Compare African Slave Trade to the Holocaust?

Friend

I really don’t believe in comparing large scale sufferings, or suffering of any kind. I believe they are unique and not particularly proportional to the quality of lived experience.

On face value, most people will agree that the Holocaust was more terrible. But there are many untold horrors of the Transatlantic slave trade. The told horrors nko? Some of the things I’ve read about it still messes with my head.

Then we have to think about the unending repercussions of both tragedies. Semitism, racism, racial inequalities, generational hatred and distrust trickling down the path of history into today and the future. It’s horrible but unique. Both are incomparable.

Me

I agree

I stumbled upon Hiroshima and the Holocaust yesterday. It made me realise that Africans aren’t the only ones who have a terrible history that will be hard to “just get over”. Yet, our cries seem to be the loudest (which is fine, really. We all grief differently)

Two other things came to mind:

  1. There isn’t a way to get over the horrors our ancestors went through at the hands of oppressors (Africans, Asians, and Europeans alike). I think time will heal our wounds ??‍♀️
  2. Other countries across the world also went through mass killings and oppression. Yet, they are advanced (economically, politically, technology, educationally, etc, and are doing well). What is wrong with Africa, then? It’s definitely not colonialism or slavery. Else, other countries (in other continents) who have gone through similar things or worse will be on our level too. What exactly is wrong with Africa?

Friend

Well, we cannot just get over the horrors our ancestors faced. You’re right about that.

The answer to your question in the second point is embedded in the first point. Africa is still living through its horrors in a literal sense, unlike its continental counterparts such as Europe and North America.

There are ongoing wars and armed conflicts in Africa. There’s still widespread hunger and drought. Intercontinental politics and neocolonial advancements still impact African communities deeply. People are more worried about eating and surviving.

Development is hard to find in places with such challenges, and any little progress built will not stand for long under such circumstances.

Me

The wars are also ongoing in other parts of the world

Like Europe and Asia. After America’s independence, wars still happened

The problem is the people, I think

Friend

I know. Development is not happening in those parts as the war rages, no nation at war and knee-deep in humanitarian crises can develop.

Obviously, people who are living in abject poverty and crisis have a higher tendency to get stuck in retrogression. Or, you’re one of those who think something is exclusively and fundamentally wrong with the people on the African continent?

Me

I think I am going with the latter. What has happened in Africa is no different from what has happened in the rest of the world at some point in time

At this point, Africans are solely responsible for the lack of development in Africa

I’ll use Nigeria as an example. People divert funds needed for the literal survival of people. Like, they deliberately leave people to suffer and die. In the North, people are intentionally left uneducated and misdirected just so they can be controlled.

In a country where people are intentionally kept in the dark, it becomes very difficult (if not impossible) to think outside the box they’ve been confined to. You can’t know that something is wrong if you are not exposed. The people facilitating this lack of exposure are also Nigerian. They do this solely for personal gain and international worth. As a result, greedy ex-pats are able to come in and further exploit the oppressed people

Do we blame these foreigners or the Nigerians who have given them room to come in?

I’ve noticed this in other countries. Countries that do well like Japan, Germany, the US, and South Korea are highly protective of their borders as well as educating the average person and involving them in communal participation. This is not to say that they don’t have any issues in those areas. However, their efforts to make their country better are intentional

Friend

I concur.

Olamide! This is an insight hiding in plain sight. ?
Unfortunately, our ‘leaders’ don’t really care much to think of a genuine way of solving our problems.

Me

The wars in Nigeria are completely Nigerian made and avoidable. It all boils down to the selfish desires of “powerful” Nigerians, the ignorance and brainwashing of the common man, as well as the disunity the first two have caused

Friend

Hmmmm. This is where I disagree, partly. Nigerians are not totally responsible for making these failings. The external influences and the powers that be in the global community really cannot be ignored.

There are strings pulling those who think they are pulling the strings in Nigeria.

Me

Who are the internationals pulling strings?

Friend

The so-called political elite, the self-proclaimed inheritors, your Obasanjos and Tinubus.

Not forgetting a certain Yakubu Gowon. That one was a standard dog on a leash.

Me

Tbh, I am of the belief that if our internal affairs are sorted and there is a clear intention/effort to make the country better, no external forces can penetrate (except by physical force). It does not matter how powerful they are

Friend

I think so too. But what to do to get the puppeteers out of the system first.

Nigerian elections come up in 2023. As citizens of this country, we will gather on the 12th of February 2023 to decide our fate for the next 4 to 8 years. Do you want growth or the further destruction of our dear country? The answer lies in our votes. Get your Permanent Voter’s Card (PVC). Educate yourself about the candidates across all electoral positions. Most importantly, come out and vote. Remember to vote wisely. Your vote counts.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

I woke up this morning with one thought in my head: it’s my dad’s 60th birthday! One reason for this is that I already felt bad for not going home to celebrate with him. So, I planned to call early in the morning of May 4 to wish him a happy birthday.

So, that’s what I did. I called my sister’s phone rather than my dad’s (it had become a habit ever since she came back home). When she picked up, I, while doing a wiggly dance, said,

“Give the phone to my daaaaaadddd.”

So, she did.

Immediately he collected it, I started singing the Korean version of “happy birthday” that I had heard from k-dramas. As I butchered “happy birthday” in Korean, my sister said,

“His birthday is on the 8th.”

My dad followed this up with,

“That’s on Sunday.”

Bruh, I burst out laughing like crazy. The thing is that every single year, I get confused about whether his birthday is on the 4th or the 8th. This year, however, there was no such thought. I was 100% certain that it was on the 4th. Sigh.

I am pretty bad at remembering people’s birthdays, including mine. This is why I developed a habit of saving my friends’ birthdays on my Google calendar. I guess I’ll have to add my dad’s too.

I was happy to hear him laugh, though. It also seems like I’ll need to go home on Sunday because I sort of promised that ?

To assure you and me, forgetting people’s birthdays does not mean you do not care about them. The effort you put into not making the same mistake next time is what truly counts.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I may be the most unqualified person to talk about parenting. For one, I am not a parent. Second, my last memory of being parented was probably when I was 12 or 13. We may talk about this soon.

Anyway, now that I want to talk about parenting, I’ll come from the perspective of what I’ve learnt from my parents and who I want to be as a parent (of about 9 children ?)

Two great lessons I learnt from my dad are contentment and being economical.

For the first, I probably just observed him and assimilated to that mentality. It’s paid off because I am totally satisfied with what I have. I don’t have “ojukokoro” ? (covetousness)… most of the time. I am neither attracted nor do I compare myself to people who are economically above me (i.e., solely attracted to them because of money). This does not stop me from being ambitious. My ambition is primarily driven by my own desire to achieve success, not by what I see outside.

The second lesson is one on being economical. This I learnt after he told me how to manage. We did not have so much growing up, so it is clear why this skill was needed. I particularly remember stories about how he used to fend for himself in school. He saw himself through school, and, as I understand now, that means being very wise with one’s expenses. For instance, you really can’t just spend all your money on an expensive meal JUST because you deserve it. Granted, you do. But, you also deserve to be fed well for the rest of the week. The point is to spend your money wisely. Also take note of your top priorities and attend to them first before other things (that can wait if you really think about it).

I just remembered a third lesson for my dad, and it’s to always have skills that can bring you money. In particular, have computer related skills. This was not directly from him, I just observed and assimilated. He was (is) a data scientist and taught us (my siblings and I) how to use the computer.

From my mom, I’ve learnt to greet people. This is a skill needed in a place like Nigeria that is originally communal. Everyone wants to be acknowledged by you, even if they don’t explicitly say it. So, say hi or “good afternoon, sir/ma” to someone the next time you’re walking on the road. I have to confess that I don’t do this as often, though. Some people are conceited and would deliberately ignore your countless greetings just because they want to. Anytime I sense such an attitude, I immediately stop greeting to maintain some dignity for myself.

The second lesson I’ve learnt from her is to leave when things are just too tough. It’s simply self-preservation.

Now, who do I want to be as a parent? I have a list of activities I want to do with my family. I’m planning ahead, people! So, I’ll recant, from my head, the kind of parent I want to be and add it to my list called “My home”. To be clear (although I am not sure why I am compelling myself to do this), building a family is only one of my many goals in life. LOL, why do I feel like I have to “prove” something? Anyway, let’s move on…

  1. I want to be kind to my children. I want them to learn kindness from me. The world desperately needs kind people. I also think every human deserves to know how it feels like to be kind-hearted.
  2. I hope to train my children to be innovative problem solvers, freethinkers, and people who respect others regardless of a difference in choices/orientations.
  3. As a parent, I want to be unbiased in my judgement, especially as it concerns siblings. One sibling shouldn’t have to feel envious or compare themselves to others.
  4. I want to show my children so much love, they never have to wonder what love it. They just know. They love themselves and they love others.
  5. I discovered, from observation, that children who grow up in loving homes often have so much confidence. Guess whose children will have complete confidence? Mine.
  6. I hope to be able to teach my children about taking responsibility.
  7.   Also, I want to be a parent who instils money making and sustaining skills into her children. This includes earning money, saving, investing, and building profitable ventures. For me to be able to teach them, I have to have practised them myself. Thus, this is a charge to Lami to continue to work hard and smart. You’ll get there.
  8. No entitlement mentality for my babies. Period.
  9. My pikin also gotta learn to be respectful while being firm.
  10. As a Christian, I hope to practice Christian values and have my children learn by examples that I set.

There may be a few more things to say, but I’ll stop here. In my opinion, parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world. You are literally raising the next generation of humans who will raise the next, who will raise the next, and so on. The ideologies you pass on to them could be sustained for centuries. They could build up or destroy nations. So, as a parent, I believe that it is my responsibility to ensure that the world has a new group of people who are all about positive impacts. Charity begins at home.

Let me know what you think and if you have some advice.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Sup,

I am inspired by many things and many people. Nigerian women sit unwaveringly at the very top level of my hierarchy of inspirations. Pardon my bias, but I will specifically note innovative, strong-willed, and successful Nigerian women – one, two, or all three.

In fact, I wish I was an innovative and strongwilled Nigerian woman… oh, wait, I am ?… E remain the “successful” part (pidgin). I am steadily becoming that.

The first Nigerian woman I officially took on as a mentor is Dr Ola Brown. I heard her speak at the Flourish Africa conference in 2018 and was wowed. What stood out most was how she is inspired by Aliko Dangote. While in school (I think), she had a picture of him posted on her wall. From all she knew about him as well as from looking at his picture, she was driven. Her resilience, hard work, and focus has made her one of the most successful entrepreneurs in Nigeria today. She is the founder of Flying Doctors.

After that conference, I applied most of what I understood from her. I developed two habits. The first is sticking important information on my walls. This includes encouraging notes to myself, reminders, and plans. The second habit is taking on “mentors from afar”. That was (and probably is) what Aliko Dangote was to Dr Ola Brown.

Dr. Brown is one of Lami’s mentor’s from afar.

One great thing happened one day while I was on Twitter; I found Dr Brown’s profile! Omo, I followed immediately to gain knowledge. It’s been about 4 years now, and I am still very inspired by her and her tweets.

I like Dr Brown for a number of reasons. At Flourish Africa, she was so confident and well-spoken! If my eyes could actually turn heart-shaped and potrude out of my sockets like it happens in cartoons, this is probably what people would have seen as I listened to Dr Brown. If I ever meet her in person or have the opportunity to interact with her in anyway, I hope I don’t sputter while introducing myself ?

After my first encounter with Dr Ola Brown, I began to understand the way I felt about innovative, strong-willed, and successful Nigerian women. My deep respect and love was not new, I promise you. In fact, I had always been impressed and inspired by females in general. My favourite cartoons while growing up were PowerPuffGirls, Atomic Betty, and Juniper Lee. I also could not get enough of Hannah Montana, iCarly, and Victorious. Yes, it was because the main characters were females. It made me feel like I could do something amazing too. I could also list some women that I absolutely adored in my child and teenage years. One honourable mention is Aunty Ore, one of my primary school teachers. All of these goes to show the importance of representation.

Currently, these are the Nigerian women that inspire me:

  1. Temie Giwa-Tubosun. She is the founder of LifeBank
  2. Apostle Folorunsho Alakija. She is the founder of Flourish Africa. Nuff said.
  3. Dr Ibukun Awosika. I was at Lagos State University’s 25th Convocation Ceremony when she was awarded an honorary Ph.D. I couldn’t stop smiling.
  4. Oluwatosin Olaseinde. She is the founder of The Money Africa.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

I’ve been mulling over this idea for a while. You know those kinds of ideas that are absolutely desirable, yet seem so far out of reach? You wish you could do it, but are secretly certain that it would never evolve past being a wish. That’s what me thinking about writing a book used to feel like.

Now… Today, it feels attainable.

I will write stories for people to read.

Who knows, I may become a bestseller someday… win prizes and all.

I’ll start with short stories. Allow me to let you in on what I think my writing process might be.

First, I have to express how the concept of imagination makes me feel. It’s just… breathtaking. You go into your mind, erect a majestic building, birth an entire family, and give voice to a stone. With imagination, you can do the impossible. Isn’t that beautiful?

In no particular order, here’s what my story-creating process will look like:

I could start my stories by creating a narrative. Let’s see… Aaa and Bbb love each other, get married, but beat the shit out of each other. Bbb opts for a divorce after they almost killed Aaa. Too basic?

Then, I’ll need to create my characters. I’ll give them physical features. Perhaps Ola will have only one ear, but it would be located on her elbow. Gifty could have every human feature… but also a tail because, why not?

I also need to give my characters some character. Should Femi be a loud-ass bitch who just won’t shut up? Gina, regardless, accommodates him because she’s really patient.

Some quirks would be cool too. For instance, Martha never takes off her glasses, come sleep or bath time. Also, why does Joy have a forever resting bitch face that only lights up when there’s food?

Next will be to define their relationship. Not for Carl, though, because she’s a loner. However, I’ll need to clarify the weird family tree of Bola and James. I may need to invent new words because “cousin”, “aunt”, “uncle”, “niece” and “nephew” just don’t cover it. Sheesh.

Now, a storyline is needed. I’ll create a plot progression. A pulse, perhaps? A high point followed by a low point, and continuously in that pattern. Or should there be a peak? They call it a climax.

Of course, there can’t be a story without some actual content. So, that has to be done. To confess, that’s the most dreaded part for me. I kinda look forward to it? I’m secretly scared in advance, though.

For my short stories, I will not stick to a particular genre. So, you’ll get romcom, historicals, thrillers, law, and maybe horrors from me. Some sci-fi will be cool too.

Yooooo! I just remembered that I’m pretty interested in youth life. We don’t get a lot of that in Nigerian movies. I think our novels are better, though.

I’m currently on 400+ words. This paragraph is to make this article up to 500 words ?… Byyyeee!

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

 

3:20 pm. I feel… split?… today. I don’t exactly know how to describe it. It’s left me a bit distracted, too. Perhaps I’m hungry and should eat some food.

Today, I want to edit my #500-Words-A-Day page layout. With 52 articles, it takes a slightly loooonnnggg time to get to the bottom of the page. So, I will now have only 10 articles per page. The page will also load faster.

I also want to add a couple of accessibility tweaks to my website in general. I want people to be able to adjust the size, weight, and kind of font on all my posts. This way, they won’t need to strain their eyes while reading. I’ll also add a dark mode to my entire website, so people can switch between whatever mode they prefer. I also think the contrast on the page could be a bit more pronounced. Perhaps the option to adjust the font would take care of that.

That’s all for now. I’ll come back here and share my process and result, with a before and after

9:20 pm. I’m back, and have a secret to tell you:

I’ve been on my laptop since 3:20 pm trying to figure out how to do all my adjustments. I worked on splitting my page but decided to stop (for now) and move on to the next items. Currently, I have been able to set up the font adjustment and dark mode. Both still need some tweaking. Do you know how I feel about this? Quite pained and ashamed. Sometimes, I tend to get fixated on a task that I don’t notice the amount of time I have been on it. I feel like the six hours I spent have been wasted. I even wanted to change my topic, so I would not have to report what I consider to be a failure. But, that would be hypocritical of me. Remember that we are all about trying, failing, being true to ourselves, and trying again.

So, I’ve decided to do two things. First, I will narrate what I spent six hours doing. Thanks for listening to me. Second, I will look on the bright side and acknowledge what I’ve learnt.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When I got started, I felt pretty jolly. To clearly remember my work process, I noted each “landmark”, so I’ll base my narration on that.

My first goal was to redesign my #500-Words-A-Day page. This is how it looked like (and still does at the moment of writing this): My “full screen” screenshot extension on Chrome had to divide the page into three images. That’s how long it is.

This clearly shows why the page should be split. On my Theme Builder (I use Elementor Pro), I had initially set to it 365 post. This was when I first started and did not really envision how huge this was going to be Anyway, for the split, I decided on 20 posts per page. With Elementor, this is quite easy, all I had to do was change “365” to 20 and add a pagination section that would appear below the last post on the page.

Elementor Theme Builder

My coconut head wanted something different, though. I wanted the page navigation to be at the top. This would have been easy if I effing knew how to code. I don’t. All the codes I have ever used on this website and all the others I have built are from some nice Internet people. Bless them. So, I banked on them once more. I engaged the internet to save me. But first, I had to duplicate this page, so I would not have to explain some story for the gods to myself if I messed something up. I worked on the copy…ies.

I did some research online, but couldn’t find what I was looking for. So, I decided to brainstorm with me, myself, and I. From this session, I decided that I could try to use the “post navigation” feature. I even used some HTML and CSS code I found online. Nada.

At this point, I was getting edgy. So, I took a break and went on WhatsApp. I deliberately reminded myself that there was no rush. Picking up my phone may or may not have been a good decision.

Back from WhatsApp, I decided to see if YouTube videos could be of help. Avoiding YouTube has been part of my dopamine detox. No wonder because as soon as I hit YouTube, I settled down to watch the following music videos:

  1. PSY – ‘That That (prod. & feat. SUGA of BTS)’ MV Teaser 3
  2. 제시 – I LUV IT [불후의 명곡2 전설을 노래하다/Immortal Songs 2] | KBS 210522 방송
  3. PSY – GANGNAM STYLE(강남스타일) M/V
  4. PSY – GENTLEMAN M/V
  5. LMFAO ft. Lauren Bennett, GoonRock – Party Rock Anthem (Official Video)
  6. Jessi (제시) – ‘ZOOM’ MV
  7. Bruno Mars – The Lazy Song (Official Music Video)
  8. [MV] 문별 (Moon Byul) – C.I.T.T (Cheese in the Trap) – My thought after about 1 minute into this was “Wait! Moon Byul is singing! ?… I had mostly heard her rapping”
  9. ENHYPEN “Polaroid Love” (Live Performance) | Open Mic
  10. [MIX & MAX] ENHYPEN JUNGWON & NI-KI (정원&니키) ‘Bleeding Darkness’ (4K) – Here, I was a bit scared, tbh.

I sang along, was merry, and momentarily ignored the mountain of tasks in front of me. Olamide Williams ?

Anyway, back to work. I eventually saw a number of actually helpful YT vids, but none had the exact thing I needed. I had a clear picture of what I wanted in my mind: a page with a content filter at the top of my posts (like how you can filter products based on categories on an e-commerce store). At this point, I considered adopting the style I used for my blog but decided against it. It would take wayyyy too many pages to create that. Besides, I’d been interested in learning how to create content filters on a page. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

Again, I engaged me, myself, and in a brainstorming session. I got the idea to group my posts in 10s into different categories (posts #1 to #9 went into “1 – 9” category). Then, I created a new menu with those categories as menu items

Category menu

The idea was to create a custom page and add the new menu to the top of the page. The menu items would create a filter effect on the page… Or would it? ?. I kinda zoned out a few times because of thinking overload.

I was wasting wayy too much time on just one task out of three. It was probably past six at this time. So, I deleted all the copies of pages and sections that I created and moved to the next task. My decision now is to either adopt the style on my blog or dedicate about 2 hours tomorrow to do some more research on this content filter thing. I have some preplanned activities for tomorrow, so won’t make a final decision now. This is pretty much all there is to know about the first task.

Moving forward, the Internet recommended some plugins that would allow visitors to change the font size on my website. I tried about 5 and finally decided to go with One Click Accessibility because of the customisation feature and high contrast mode. However, I want to remove it from my front page because it distorts the texts there. I’ll figure that out tomorrow

So, what lesson did I learn?

  • I learnt more about the “bulk select” feature on WordPress. To add multiple posts to one category, you can select all of them at once, select “edit” from the dropdown at the top and click “apply”. You’ll get the option to bulk apply an array of features to multiple posts at once. Pretty cool.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Some random stuff:

I remember one time I was crying in a public space. Someone came up to me and asked if it was because of a boy. I laughed ?… Bless her heart, the lady. She was quite worried. To be honest, I can’t remember why I was crying. I have a history of being an emotional wreck. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to the past and give past Lami a big hug, and a high-five just for sauce. Most of the time, all she needed was to realise that things will be fine. The assurance that “someone understands and is there for you” would have also gone a long way.

All is well now because I know these things. Life feels a bit easier.

Today, via someone’s WhatsApp post, I learnt that the expression is “wreak havoc”, not “wreck havoc”. Who knew? ????

Today’s article:

I feel a wave of nostalgia today. Perhaps, it is a residue feeling from reading all my old articles. Yesterday, I read this article I published in 2018 and wondered why I ever doubted myself. I really like the article. The inspiration for today’s post came after I felt that familiar wave of doubt. It left a bitter taste in my mouth and mind. Right on time, I realised what was happening and CUT IT OFF.

What is not good about you, Olamide? What is unworthy of you? Why do you reject yourself before giving yourself the opportunity to prove that you can do it? Why do you reject yourself on behalf of other people?

That creepy self-doubt made me think about love. I love myself, so I shouldn’t speak or think negatively about myself. I have the capacity to do the “hard tasks”, and my history proves it. I am worthy of success and can achieve it. I can and should be happy.

While thinking about love, I tried to apply it to another person. If I loved another person, I would never try to convince them that they are unworthy of success or happiness. I would never tell them that they are weak and deserve to remain in a state of mental repression. In fact, such thoughts will never cross my mind.

In projecting the experience of negativity on another person, it was easier to understand how unfair I was being to my beautiful-self. Sigh. The fact that it took doing that to truly understand is pretty sad. I will do better in the future.

This article is to express to me how much I love myself. I do love you, Olamide. I will support you, encourage you, and praise you as you become a better version of yourself. You deserve all the good things you desire. You are worthy of happiness. Most importantly, you CAN do it. Rather than reject yourself, you will try your very best first. Your worth isn’t tied to your achievements. Remember that God put you up to this.

Come back here and read this anytime you need assurance, a hug, or a high-five for sauce.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

Hi people,

I have a voicicle for you today!

Have a great listen:

These are 500 words (or less ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

You would agree that after post #34, this is completely expected. Drop the intention of “a lawsuit if Lami didn’t do the needful”. I got you covered, my friend.

I’ll talk about pyramids.

What is a pyramid? It is a “three-dimensional shape with a square base and triangular sides that meet in a point”, according to National Geographic. Pyramids are ancient temples or tomb structures.

You’ve probably seen pictures online. In case you’ve seen a pyramid in real life, send me pictures, pweessee ?

The first thing we associate pyramids with is the land of Egypt. However, did you know that other countries host the incredible monument too? Yes, you can find pyramids in countries like Sudan, Brazil, China, France, Indonesia, Italy, and Mexico, to name a few.

Today, I discovered that pyramids also exist in Nigeria! I’m shook, and will come back to this soon.

Of course, Egypt is the baba of them all, hosting up to 118 of the world’s over 400 (and counting) pyramids. Beyond this, Egypt is also home to the original largest pyramid in the world, The Great Pyramid of Giza (TGPG). I say, “original” because the three other pyramids that have overtaken it were constructed only a few hundred to tens of years ago. TGPG was constructed between 2551-2528 BC (over 4000 years ago… how old were you then?) within a period of 10 to 20 years and stands at about 454.5 feet (think 76 6ft humans standing on top of each other). It has a smooth white limestone casing that reflected sunlight and moonlight at some point, which made it about 481 feet tall. Unfortunately, that has been removed now. TGPG is also part of the old seven wonders of the world.

Bruh, I love all these for Egypt, but did you know that Sudan has the most number of pyramids in the world? You should read more about them.

I’m bringing it home now. Let’s talk about the Nsude Pyramids of Nigeria.

Nsude Pyramids
Nsude Pyramids. Image Credit: igbodefender.com

 

Built with red clay that dried and hardened with time, the Nsude pyramids are clear evidence of the existence of a once-thriving pre-colonial African society;the Igbo people of West Africa.

I must mention that I strongly believe that every culture in Africa was once a developed nation before strange men sat at a round table to devise gruesome means to destroy thriving economies blessed with people who were minding their business. On this note, I am Yoruba before I am Nigerian, just as my fellow Ibibio, Igbo, Egun, Hausa, and Fulani, are who they are before they were assigned Nigerian at birth. Nevertheless, I strongly believe in a thriving Nigeria if we all hold one another’s hands and decide to pursue freedom from a shackled mentality. I desperately want to see my country bloom as it should. Nigeria has every human and material resource it needs to be one of the best countries in the world.

Sigh. On another note, it pains me to think about colonialism and how the histories of African communities are either long perished or utterly rewritten to make certain persons the saviours. I’m curious about when our stolen treasures will be returned.

Moving on (if I can ever manage to)…

The Nsude pyramids are a series of pyramids located on the Udi highlands of Enugu State. The true number of pyramids is unknown, but some people say 10. Enugu is in the South-East of Nigeria, and is popularly known as the “Coal City state”.

The period of construction or purpose of the pyramids is still uncertain. One sure fact is that they were built by innovative ancient Igbo people. Sources have it that it was built by the Eri-era Igbos. These people are thought to have a Judeo-Nubian connection. They “came from Eri Ben Gad’s household in the Chineroth area in Canaan, and from the households of some Nubian chieftains he met in the Saqqara area of Egypt-Sudan” – Source.

This is plausible if we consider the fact that the Nsude pyramids are structurally similar to Egypt’s first pyramid, the Step pyramid of Saqqara which was constructed in 2648 BC. The Nsude pyramids are structurally different from most pyramids. They are circular and have 4 to 5 steep steps. The base have a circumference of about 60ft and is about 2-6ft high.

Concerning their purpose, some posit that they were created for the worship of the gods, Ala or Uto. A stick was placed at the top the pyramid where it was believed that either of them resided. Others believe that it could have also been a post for surveying invaders.

I wonder how the idea for the pyramid came. I have always had the belief that multiple people can have the exact same idea. So, perhaps someone’s Igbo ancestor ingeniously  got the creative idea to build the interesting structure. S/he then told his/her peeps, and they were like, “yoooo, let’s do it!”. Then, s/he was given a “Clan’s Innovative Person of the Year” award.

On the other hand, it is also reasonable to think that some peeps migrated from Egypt to somewhere around Umuaka and Ugwuto and brought the idea with them. Alternatively, an Igbo traveller could have been touring the world, seen a pyramid, and just knew that her/his nation had to have that too.

Also, what is the original Igbo name of the structures? Surely, the ancient Igbo people did not call them, “pyramids”.

I also wonder about the tools used for construction.

 

The Nsude Pyramids stand as shreds of evidence of cultural and technological advancement. I’m not surprised that the Igbos had pyramids. They also had an ancient writing system.

The pyramids stood tall for hundreds or possibly thousands of years. At the moment, they are left to their fate. I hope that, someday, people will rise and restore these historical monuments to their former glory.

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

As you well know by now, I am doing a Master’s programme and am super excited about all the academic stuff. One thing that occasionally stresses me, though, is writing. What’s worse is that I have to do it every day. So, asides from this space, I dedicate time to writing in my academic space almost daily.

For some papers, the words flow pretty well, while for others, I won’t be able to get a word down for days. The worst of this has been my thesis. For weeks, any attempt at writing was met with uncontrollable, severe anxiety.

I assumed it was because the topic I chose was new to me. You see, I am working on the patterns of language impairment in dementia. Everything about this research area, except language, is quite new to me.

So, I embarked on some extensive reading. Using Excel first, then switching to RemNotes, I created a detailed review of all the literature I consulted. Then, I tried writing again… and failed.

Failing to start my thesis had been the highlight of my life for weeeeksss… until something incredible happened on late Monday night/early Tuesday morning. I wrote a 10-paged article on “Children and Witchcraft in Nigeria” (for my Child Development class) in only two seating. It occurred to me that I knew absolutely nothing about that topic until the moment I started writing.

So, why was it easier? Why did the ideas flow smoothly? It was my approach!

It turns out that for my thesis, I was using a writing style that did not suit my thought process. I also saw it as such a “big deal” on which I could not afford to do poorly no matter what. For some context, I consulted several YT videos on how to write a thesis… just to get it right.

This was not a bad idea, I just followed a writing model that was wrong for me. So, I decided to switch to the style I used for the “Children and Witchcraft in Nigeria” paper. Here are the steps:

  1. Light reading of different sources to get an outline
  2. Select papers to be used (there isn’t a limit on how many, but you’ll know when you have enough)
  3. Create an outline
  4. Write everything from my head, questionable sentences and all. As much as possible, avoid editing
  5. Divide my screen into two. One part will be my browser/pdf reader and the other will be Word. Switch “Word” with “pen and paper” if I’m going manual
  6. Copy my outline on a new page and add content under the relevant headers (the points on the outline are my headers)
  7. Consult sources and get quotes/ideas. Preferable, reading the entire article will do. To work fast, though, I skim through and read parts that are relevant to the work at hand. 5 to 10 minutes per article is acceptable. Document the meaning/ideas gotten from the quote.
  8. Cite and add the source to my reference list immediately. This saves time!
  9. At this point, snatches of seemingly disjointed writing are everywhere on my document/book. The headers on Word help me make sense of things. Plus, I can always move content around. This is impossible with pen and paper, so I number each bulk of content (I typically write in bullet points). If I have 5 points turn header on my outline, I simply add a correlating number to the content on my book.
  10. When I have felt like I’m veering off, I read the entire work-in-progess paper or a substantial part to recalibrate my line of thought. I reread it multiple times during the process of writing.
  11. Consult and add new citations are needed (this is inevitable)
  12. Edit!!!

This is exactly what I’ve done with my thesis, and I have 10 pages on my first chapter in just one day! I am currently shuffling between steps 7 to 11. The game-changer for me was most definitely step 4.

Note that it is not just about the number of pages, quality also matters, maybe even more. I can’t wait to share it with you!

Reflecting now, this is the writing approach most natural to me, and which I have been unconsciously using (although excluding some steps like 2, 8, and 11 which I only recently learned for my YT consultations).

The line of action for you now – if you are thinking of having one – is to find the writing style that works for you. Of course, consult web and people resources. There is always something new to learn. Take some time for you to read extensively if you need to. Also, it is okay for you to think that you writing rubbish when you start your first draft. Let go of the need to be perfect. The goal is to get content on paper/screen first. Editions/corrections can come later. You can’t edit a blank paper, can you? Good luck!

These are 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

I am now on my way to school for a class at 10 am. Even though my school is only 6 minutes away, I have to leave an hour earlier for several totally valid reasons. First, mornings are the “rush hour”, so there’ll definitely be traffic. Second, I need to get to class early so that I can find a seat, else I’ll stand for two whole hours. How inconvenient. The maruwa guy is driving like he is considering applying as a stunt double for Fast and Furious. I hold on to the life I already lost. Each turning we pass, I pray that we did not collide with another vehicle.  A trailer is heading towards us at full speed. My maruwa driver, a smart Nigerian, decides to battle his right to drive on the road right beside a trailer. Somehow, the trailer loses control and falls on us. For the third time in about 12 hours, I die again.

What kind of stress is this? I have other things to do, and death is just bothering me here and there. I’ll be more careful. Leave me alone, death. I pick up my crushed body, board another vehicle – a bus this time, to be safe – and head to school. Thankfully, no one notices that my left hand is twisted funny, my skull is shattered, and my intestines dangled from where my stomach burst open from the impact of the trailer. It would have been hard to explain, anyway.

I see the tweet. Chinelo, a dentist, was killed on a train. Her last words were a cry for help on the Internet.

She said, “I’m in the train . I have been shot please pray for me”.

My heart broke, and I died along with her.

A moving train was hijacked by bandits terrorists. I am horrified like a Nigerian. Being horrified for us means to be shocked by a situation, acknowledge that it is bad, sympathise with the victims… resign to the realities of Nigeria, and pray it does not happen again while knowing fully well that it will. I am severely fatigued and that’s why I am used to the Nigerian horrification that moves on, not too quickly, but fast enough to continue with my survival journey. Nigeria finds its way to happen to everyone.

I am tired… blank… frustrated. I hate that I am living to avoid death. Why is the death of a Nigerian due to avoidable circumstances acceptable? Why should I be killed by terrorists and keep quiet about it? What is normal about being killed by generator fumes or armed robbers looting a bank? Why should security forces kill me because I refused to show them my phone or give them ₦100? Is it normal for a trailer to fall on me while I try to cross an expressway with no pedestrian bridge? Let me know if it is the standard for me to drive into a manhole and die there while on a bike home in the rain? Perhaps I should not complain when I am kidnapped and my head is cut off and pounded for some sort of ritual.  Most importantly, I would like to ask why it is alright for me to be shot at point-blank range when I protest against injustice.

I am tired of resurrecting.

These are 500 tough words. I must talk to you tomorrow.

I was hurrying to get home before “they” took the light. The people in front of me were walking quite slowly. So from the sidewalk, I crossed the big open gutter to the road. After a few seconds, I had passed them and decided to cross back. With my heavy backpack, I fell into the gutter. The black water coated my leg like paint, colouring most of the blood that gushed out from my shin. People rushed to help me out. Someone even used water to clean my leg. I did not know how to feel, so I dived into the gutter head-first and died.

When I got home, there was still light. Whew. I quickly plugged in my phone, torchlight, laptop, and fan. I don’t have an extra charger for my power bank. I was pretty tired, so I laid down to get some rest. My leg and death do not matter. They’ll heal. If they don’t, at least there is light. As the clock struck 8 pm, they took what belonged to them; the prized light. I forgot to iron my clothes. That’s by the way.

Right now, I need to critically analyse how to ration my devices because I need to work on two assignments this night. My laptop is on 66%. My phone is…. on 6%? Shit, it wasn’t charging! Ummm… No need to panic… I’ll put on my hotspot, download the papers I need, put off my phone, and use my laptop till it dies. I need to work on my bed and under my net, though. My fan will last for only about an hour, and I don’t want mosquitoes to bite my peeled leg. I don’t think I can manoeuvre scratching that. As for my torchlight, I’ll need to use it now, else the laptop light will cause a big headache for me. A headache is the last thing I need this night. All was settled, so I worked, hunched over the glaring screen of my laptop till my torchlight died after 30 minutes. So, I put on my candle. Unfortunately, the fire engulfed my net and me too. This is inconvenient. How will I go to school tomorrow without my life?

The next morning, I used all my might to stand up from my bed. I removed the flimsy, expensive bedsheet soaked with sweat and sprinkled with ashes. I need to spread it outside so that it will dry by the time I come back home in the evening. Let me carry my three buckets and fetcher as I head out. I’m lucky because my house has a well in case there is no water in the tap. Other people have to walk a distance to get water.

As I get outside, I hear my neighbours were talking about the people who were shot, killed, and abducted on a Kaduna-Abuja train yesterday. This is new! Trains are also not safe? I thought the abductions and killings were limited to road transportation. Na wa o. What is this country turning into? I quickly fetch my water and head back inside to check what Twitter was saying about the issue. Right. The phone is dangerously low, and I put it off. The hurry to charge my devices set in again, so I quickly have my bath and head out.

These are 500 tough words. I must talk to you tomorrow.

#12 – Life over speed

3 years ago, I was 21 years old. It was 2019. Like I had been since 2012, I was still depressed. After NYSC, I worked at a place inside the University of Ibadan. Almost every morning, I would open the centre, go downstairs to the restroom, and cry very heavy tears. I was particularly sad at that period because I did not have money to rent a place of my own. I also could not buy the form for a Master’s program at UI. Things looked bleak. Before the regular teary episodes, I called my dad for some assistance. He said he had no money. I cried over the phone and distinctly remember that he gave no reaction to that. That hurt me. Rather, he asked that I come back to Lagos. The call took place around October 2019. If I knew what I know now, I would have wasted no second in leaving Ibadan ASAP. That’s a story for another day, though.

Anyway, I am no longer depressed. This statement isn’t just a logical conclusion that I have drawn based on my current disposition compared to the past. I also have joy and control right now, something I only distantly remember experiencing when I was very young. Most importantly, it is a statement of strong faith.

3 years from now, I am 27 years old. It is 2025. Just like now, I am in an even better place. I hope that I will have gotten over the existential crisis that assails me once in a while about my age. LOL. Sometimes, I find it hard to believe that I’m this old. At 27, I am probably 2 years into my PhD. Somewhere. I have designed my first cognitively accessible product. I have a good job. Most interesting is the fact that I have confidence. I look back to when I wrote this and muse about how far I’ve come. I am also courageous at 27. Most importantly, I have the clearest focus, purpose, and direction.

Like we say in Nigeria, “no condition is permanent”. I find this statement very logical. Times, seasons, and circumstances can’t but change. They are never constant. Thus, nothing about anyone can be the same. As time goes by, you age. As the seasons change, your body’s reaction to the elements changes. When rain falls, you’re cold. When the sun shines, you are hot. You move, whether consciously or not. I think the former is better; moving consciously, that is. That way, you get to actively determine what direction you go.

I understand how you feel, though. The world is on its toes. You feel behind no matter how fast you run or how hard you work. It’s exhausting that so much is expected of you. The room for taking time to learn and making mistakes keeps getting smaller. It’s hard to take your eyes off the now.

Try it. Shut your eyes against now. Envision the best possible outcome of your present worries. You get the job with your dream starting salary. You have money to buy what you need. You have insurmountable joy. You are happy

Now, open your eyes and ask how you can get there. I have to confess to you that worries won’t get you there. Actions will. Also, don’t worry about the fast world. Everyone’s lives are different for a reason. It’s an indication that our paths and pace are not the same. The fact that we have our own paths also show that we are supposed to face it, not someone else’s.

Now, put your worries aside. Easier said than done, right? Do it with all you might. You now know exactly what you want. You envisioned it, remember? At this point, think of how to get there. For instance, how can you get to a place of joy if that’s your target? Reading books on how to find joy may help. Watching videos or reading articles could also help. Another thing is being in a gathering of people with similar goals, like a church. In my opinion and experience, having the resolve to not be sad anymore is number 2 out of the top things you can do. Number 1 is learning about what joy entails. I’ve learnt this by seeking God. I’ll talk about it in the future. In your current situation, what would work best for you?

It doesn’t have to be grand. You may also not reach your end goal right away. It may even come a while longer than anticipated. You may relapse or feel stuck. However, since you’re moving consciously and you’ve envisioned your destination, you know to keep taking actions and limiting your worries.

Also, as you would be to others, be kind to yourself. Things will get better.

This is 500 words (or more ?)! Talk to you tomorrow!

5:16pm

Hi there!

The funniest thing happened to me a few hours ago! Warning: if you are squeamish about bodily fluids, stop reading now.

I don’t have lectures, but came to school today to get some assignments done. The catch is that there is electrical power (we just say “light” in Nigeria) in my school but not in my house. Sigh, it’s one of the realities of being Nigerian. Anyway, while I can use the library, I prefer to sit in a class. Bags are not allowed into the library, so I would need to take out ALL the materials I need every single time. This includes my laptop and its charger, phone and its charger, several pens, books, my purse… Needless, to say, it is a tiresome process. I also feel like I get a lot of o stares when I do this (although, this is probably me being hypersensitive). You can already see why I prefer a class. I also like to eat and drink while working.

After I settled in a class for a few hours, I really needed to pee. Sigh again. There is a restroom crisis in my entire faculty. You would need to go from restroom to restroom to find one that is unlocked or has water. So, I just go straight to the library if the first restroom I visit is inaccessible. This was the case today. Sigh yet again. I had to pack ALL my things because there was no familiar face to help me look after them while I went to do my business.

My plan was to get in, pee, get out

– Lami, March 17, 2022

Logging my really heavy bag, I headed to the library. I took out my purse to show security (three people) my library card so that I would be allowed entry. A dialogue would make this more interesting.

Me: [Standing by the door while bringing out my purse]

Security 1: Don’t block the door

Me: [Moves away from the door while frantically searching my purse] Argh, I did not bring it. [Proceeds to leave]

Security 1: Ahn ahn, wait naw. What happened? We are not God now. You can just tell us instead of just going. It’