Like most people, I have also had personal experiences with regret, wishing I could reverse a wrong decision I made. The feeling of regret nags and gets us worked up. It could also last a long time. For some situations that are particularly bad, you may find yourself thinking about it at random, sometimes happy, moments. I totally relate that it can be overwhelming. It is also not healthy for your mental health and life in general. Constantly putting yourself in a bad mood over something that is in the past isn’t quite the best decision.
In many cases, you don’t get a chance to reverse a wrong decision, but you definitely have the opportunity to recover from one. Here are six ways you can recover from a bad decision.
Accept it
One thing you most definitely cannot do is escape your decisions. So
accepting a wrong choice is the first step to recovering from it. It’s like accepting defeat, only that you’re surrendering your guilt and bad feelings. You can accept a wrong decision by acknowledging that the choice you have made is wrong based on the outcomes you see.
In certain cases, your bad decision may also affect you. Have you ever said something you were not supposed to? Sold yourself unforgivably short in the face of pressure? Made yourself look less in front of others as a joke because you lacked confidence? I have done all of these things and, sadly, more. Those experiences hurt like hell because they leave you feeling helpless and embarrassed like this:
You can start to recover from these regretful situations by accepting your wrongdoing.
Apologise
Apologising for your mistakes involves thining ab0ut how the affected person might feel. Moments where apologies are the best you can do hurt like hell if you are truly remorseful. So, truly empathise with someone affected by your wrong decision, accept your wrongdoing to them, and sincerely apologise. Try to make the apology less about how
you feel and more about how
they feel. This is an important step if you are keen to recover from a bad decision.
Understand your choice
Sometimes, our decisions are based on valid good intentions. It’s hurtful when they don’t work out in the end. IMO, wrong decisions inspired by good intentions make regrets more painful. So, go easy on yourself. Like Hannah Montana says, “everybody makes mistake, everybody has those days”.
Side note: you should binge-watch Hannah Montana if you haven’t. Anyway, console yourself by re-telling you why you made that decision to assure you that you are not a horrid person.
Dear reader, this gets a little more complicated when your decision affects someone else. As such, it might be best not to share the reason for your choices with someone who is hurt by your decision in the heat of the moment. They’ll only sound like excuses to someone who is high on emotions. What do you do, then? Give it some time. Depending on the situations, a few days or weeks will do. However, it is important to clear the air, as the hurt person could also find some solace in that.
Realistically, your decisions aren’t always based on good intentions, are they? You need to acknowledge if this is the case too. Be real and avoid placating yourself when you are actually in the wrong. In this case, if someone is hurt by your decision, it might be best not to tell them the not-so-good reasons for your choices.
Remember that the decision you make that affect you are also included. So take time to reflect on the bad or good things you are doing to yourself, and adjust accordingly. The moment you start treating yourself like kindly, you’ll realise that taking care of yourself is highly underrated.
Take your share of the responsibility
No, you are not pushing blames, you are taking responsibility for
your actions. I think you shouldn’t take the blame for what you did not do because that in itself could lead to more regrets. Do you agree? You would need a lot of wisdom to understand how to take the right amount of responsibility that does not equate to you unjustly taking the fall for others or being straight up exploited. Your wrong decisions should also not be the reason you are exploited. In cases where you do not know what to do, seek advice from people you trust. They might be able to give you a piece of good advice. Also, don’t way yourself down by wishing other people did things diferrently. You can’t change that.
Regretting your decision usually comes with remorse. So, if the reasons for your choices were not-so-great, you can admit that. Nevertheless, one decision does not define your whole existence. So no, you are not a bad person and you should not be punished unjustly.
Make up for it
When there is an opportunity to reverse a bad decision you made, take it… However, note that you might still be high on an emotional “had I known” moment, so avoid hasty retributions. While you can recover from a bad decision by making up for it, putting a lot of thought into this makes sense. Think, will this make the situation better or is this too selfish and will it make only me feel better? Contrastively, you
could go for it if you are sure or even only
kinda sure. It’s okay to take a leap and learn from it.
Do better next time
Opportunities come more than once… in rare cases. If you can’t make up for a bad decision, look forward to other situations where you can do better. You might not find the exact same situation. Either way, make sure to acknowledge the right thing you did
this time. This will help you recover from a bad decision.
#LessonLearnt
The whole point of wanting to recover from a bad decision is not beating yourself up about it. Realise that you made a mistake and decide to move on. Leemaaoo! That sound so much easier than what happens in reality. I know I have had regrets that lasted for months. Sadly, I didn’t know that I needed to work towards getting over them rather than wishing them away. I hate to break it to you that living a life void of regrets takes some hard, deliberate work. Okay, I love to break it to you ??. Remember to accept that mistakes happen. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t punish yourself by allowing external exploitations. Sometimes, “I’m sorry” is really the best thing you can do. Attempt to make up for it if (!) you can find a way. Forgive yourself. Again, one decision does not define you. Finally, learn a lesson and
do waaayyy better next time.
What are your go-to strategies for recovering from a bad decision?
