Hi There ??

13th February, 2018
Why do we forget? Something crazy happened to me yesterday.
I was busy doing something really important when, of course, my brain told me to leave what I was doing. And even though I shouldn’t have, I did (yippie). So, in hopes of amusing myself, I magically remembered a bag we had at home which contained many old pictures. Wouldn’t it be grand to go through them and totally waste my time?
Why, of course!
After spending about an hour checking them out, I came across some of my baby pictures. Seeing them made me remember that this week was my birthday. I made a mental note to check the date, so, I would know what day my birthday fell on. That was at about 2pm. I took some pictures of those pictures (LOL), sent some to my mum with ‘laughing hysterically’ smileys, and posted some on my Whatsapp story. Soon, I forgot about them and spent a couple of hours on Twitter (don’t try this at home).
I had to put my phone away when I felt the beginning of the familiar ache between my eyes that comes after I stare into a screen for a long period of time. Not until then did my mental note come crawling back with its tail between its leg (coward *bored face). I checked the date and lo! My birthday was the next day, which is today, the 13th of February.
This made me go online and Google “why the heck do people forget things?”

Blame the brain
The human brain is mapped with numerous neurons that send and receive signals between the brain and the rest of the nervous system. Personally, I’m amazed at such science that I almost imagine that unlike respiratory movements, it can never be replicated… almost.

I read stories about other people who forgot their birthdays, and some were even worse than mine. One particular one caught my attention; his family stopped celebrating his birthday when he was 8 years old, and so, as time went on, it became something that wasn’t really eventful, and so never stuck. What I got from that story is that when something isn’t really important to you, you forget it.
Our brain keeps track of our priorities in order to make retrieving any information easy. This also counts for what we do often. Like a computer, the human brain keeps track of our ‘recent’ place/memories/thoughts. It also pins things to our memories like our names, current address, password, guitar chords, and those things we do/use almost every day. So, if you don’t recall your Twitter password, it is most likely because you don’t get to input it very often. This would explain why we would most likely almost always remember our ATM passwords.

So, why do we forget things?
Going by the findings of memory experts, Elizabeth Loftus and Talya Sadeh (cited by Kendra Cherry and Julia Shaw, respectively), I was able to identify two major theories that explain why we forget things.
1. The Decay Theory
The first is the Decay Theory. Loftus classifies this under the umbrella of what she calls Retrieval Failure. Retrieval Failure happens when we know a piece of information, but experience some difficulty in remembering that information. Imagine cooking a fresh bowl of spaghetti. After eating it the first day, you store the rest in the fridge, knowing that you’d eat it another day. The day you decide to enjoy your spaghetti comes (probably the next day), and so you put it in the microwave. While you are about to put on the microwave, someone knocks at your door and surprises you with rice and chicken. You don’t go back to the spaghetti until you have the urge to eat spaghetti again about five days later. Of course, you can’t have it anymore because it’s definitely gone bad; that’s the Decay Theory.
What does it mean?
It basically shows that when we don’t constantly refresh our minds of the memories we have, they ‘go bad’, and eventually fade away. Also, it shows that time has a way of taking away some of our memories. It differs for many of us, of course. What I would forget in a minute might be remembered by someone else two hours later, even though we probably paid the same amount of attention. Loftus tells us that we create a sort of memory ‘trace’ with every new memory we add to our brain, so, the older ones will fade away if not retrieved or rehearsed. Over time, they could eventually be lost. Shaw describes the Decay Theory in an interesting way:
You can picture this much like a message written in the sand, with every ocean wave that flows over the shore making the writing less legible until it eventually disappears entirely. The sand represents the web of brain cells that forms a memory in the brain, and the ocean waves represents time passing
One downside of this theory, however, is that it does not explain how some unrehearsed memories or memories that have not been retrieved for a long time are known to be ‘remarkable stable in our long term memory. Why did you remember the name of that primary school classmate of yours that you haven’t seen in 20 years?
2. The Interference Theory
Let’s go back to our ‘bowl of spaghetti’ example. Imagine after bringing it out of the fridge, you decide to add some of the stew you cooked. The taste will become different, and you probably won’t be able to recall the previous taste. What has happened is that the introduction of something new has affected the recollection of the old. Another example is when you learn a new word; let’s assume the word is ‘grove’. You could find yourself mixing up that word with a word you knew before (let’s assume that word is ‘groove’); so, you unknowingly substitute ‘groove’ for ‘grove’ henceforth. A reverse of this could also happen; a situation where an old memory clouds a new one. Loftus classifies both instances as proactive interference and retroactive interference, respectively.

Encoding Failures
Furthermore, forgetting can be induced by what Loftus calls Encoding Failures. This theory suggests that we lose memories because we didn’t really ‘store’ them. You know that moment in class when a lecturer is speaking and you are only ‘hearing’ what is being said… not really listening, not to talk of understanding? If at that moment, you were told to repeat exactly what was said, you probably would do so accurately. Two minutes later, however, you would probably not be able to recall it to save your life. Forgetting due to Encoding Failures can also be revealed in an instance when you are charged to write a list of every item in your living room. Although you see these items every day, chances are you would be unable to give a list of every single one of them.
One time, I went to the bank to upgrade my account. I was asked to describe the route to my house. I did that with a bit of a struggle. The banker then asked what the color of my gate was! My mind went blank at first, and I finally said ‘black’! It’s actually gray (I think). I simply did not pay enough attention to remember and retain that piece of information in my long-term memory. What is the color of the door to your kitchen?
Suppression and Repression
Sometimes, when we go through really tough experiences, we usually wish to forget them. I, for one, have gone through such. What I do is that immediately I find my mind veering to such unwanted thoughts, I swiftly switch my thoughts to something else. Sometimes, I get myself busy. Generally, I do things that would make me not think about it. Sometimes, I eventually forget, other times, the memory comes back a while later. This, in whatever form, is identified as Motivated Forgetting. Loftus identifies two forms of Motivated Forgetting; suppression and repression. These terms may be familiar to us. Suppression is when we consciously work towards disposing our minds of certain memories.

We can all relate to this… I think. Repression, on the other hand, is when that attempt at disposal is done subconsciously. The brain an amazing tool. It has ‘softwares’ just like our phones or computers that help identify ‘files’ that are threats to our system or mental health, and works towards eliminating them for us. However, one problem identified in the repression theory is that it is difficult, if not impossible to scientifically study whether memory has been repressed or not.
Is it okay to forget?
Now, we know that “I don’t even know why I can’t remember” is no longer a valid statement. Knowing the reasons we experience these minor (or major) memory lapses can help us manage our memories. How? Pay attention. Randomly rehearse things you’re sure would cost you a lot if you forgot. Write things down! Most importantly, know that forgetting is perfectly human, so, don’t feel too bad about the next time you forget the name of a person you met just five seconds ago. Nicely ask for the person’s name again.
Well, my mini research is definitely not exhaustive. I am certain there are countless more theories concerning the concept of forgetting. I hope you share some of those theories with me!

bEFOre I ForGEt!
The whole reason I wrote this article at all was because I forgot my own birthday. I mentioned earlier that people forget stuff because those things might not be important to them. While that is true, remember (pun intended) that people also get preoccupied with other things, and that causes forgetfulness too! Of course, my birthday is VERY VERY important to me. I might not be so big on celebrating (which is totally fine, and because I am not used to doing so *shrugs), it is still a very important day of my life. The same goes for when your friend or loved one forgets your birthday. They are probably preoccupied with something else, so, don’t feel bad. Instead, create an ‘event’ on their phone for your next birthday so that they would totally not miss it.
TTYL,
Lami.
Some information about this article: I published this article on my old blog in 2018. I have edited this version very slightly. I reposted it here because I particularly like it. Soooo… Bye then.